Really sad. Not sure if I should confront my SO...again

Hi you all. My ldr is only about 3 weeks old so far as some of you already know. My life currently is a mess, I had to move back to Germany. My SO had to stay in the States. He has to finish his degree. Which will happen next year in May hopefully. So we are both really busy. I am searching for a job and a home and he is working two jobs and goes to school. Anyway, from the get go there is this issue which makes me freak out on a regular basis.
I feel like I am texting him way more than he texts back. He is not responding to sweet pictures, sometimes I love youīs and other things. As if he only reads the very last one or not read it all compeltely. I mean, I also try to mix it up, make cheesy love pictures and send them to him and stuff. Which he does not do at all. I talked to him about not reponding very much a couple of times already. He always says he is busy and that he is responding, but I donīt see it. When we skype, which is infrequent and short, I usually tell him that I am unhappy with this communication and I also apologized for being difficult, since I know he is so busy.
But can you really be so busy that a good night and a good morning is too much to ask? Or to respond to me in his "free" time? And yesterday he had work and then I did not hear from him anymore for the rest of the night. I donīt know what he did after work, when he went to bed, nothing. I told him to text me to see if I am awake so we could skype. And he said he would do that. But he did not. I woke up during the night and texted him, hoping he would respond, but nothing.
I am really sad today (again). I donīt know why he does that. Another time I set my alarm too and woke up early to skype with him, but he just overslept it. So I am sick right now and he knows that (sore throat, fever, coughing and stuff). I thought he would make sure to check on me or anything and certainly try to skype, but no. Am I expecting too much or am I just going crazy? Last time we skyped he said he does not want to get in trouble every time we skype. I understand that. And he said I shall remember he is so busy to save money to visit me, but ind to met was Friday afternoon and night and he did not have to work or go to school or do homework. Not sure if I shall confront him again. I mean, I am really unhappy but its not changing.

Sorry it is that long, maybe you guys can tell me how you deal with communication? And how you would handle this? Especially in the beginning of this I think it is necessary to have the security that the SO is in this as much as I am. I know he is busy. But I am freaking busy too. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Thank you for reading it all!

[kacie]

Personally I think you're overreacting, it's a new relationship, or the part with the distance is, let things settle down, and find a routine of communication, if he can't text you all the time or skype with you whenever you think he's free, accept that and try to find other ways and times when you can talk. You seem to be the romantic type and maybe he isn't when it comes to written communication, is there things he is interested in that would be something you could have a discussion on, to build up conversations better?

[Zephii]

I think you need to back off, before he runs away. Simply put.
If you want quality communication, you need to not be contacting him all the time. There is such a thing as too much. He can love you with everything he has and still get annoyed as hell with you being on his case or texting constantly when he's trying to get stuff done. And like he said, if he's going to get in trouble, of course he's not going to want to skype.
You don't need to know what he is doing every moment, or what time he went to bed. Give him time to miss you.

How we dealt with communication was very different because we couldn't text. We never had the money for that. Or phone calls. Sometimes I didn't have the internet. Sometimes we didn't speak for weeks or more. You know what? He never forgot me, or I him. He never replaced me. He was always *there* somewhere, out there and in my heart. I think you just need to have faith in each other and the strength of your relationship. And step away from your phone for a while.

[rubydissolution]

I agree with the above posters. You guys are three weeks in and you are already acting bat sh*t crazy. Being too needy is a HUGE turn off to most guys, and actually to girls as well. You need to understand that he has a life that doesn't revolve around you. He works, he goes to school, he gets home, is exhausted and goes to bed. He's not going to always remember to send you a text at night or in the morning. And you shouldn't beat him up if he forgets. In the long run its not a big deal! I mean honestly wth would you do if he broke his cell phone and you had no means of communication? Would you go crazy? Because I think you would.

At this point, this early in the relationship when you are supposed to be hot and heavy in love you are learning some things about him. You seem to need more attention and romanticism then he has time to give. So, either accept that he doesn't have time to give you heaps of attention or end it and find someone who will.

Also, if you browse through the threads you will find tons of postings like this. He doesn't text enough...I think the responses are all more or less the same. Hell I think I even posted on once, but I'm over it! And now that I'm over it I realize how crazy I was being. Stop being the crazy gf or move on. END!

[LDLovebird]

Thanks guys. Rough tone here lol. I think I have to clarify that we are together for 7 months, not 3 weeks. It's been LD for 3 weeks. And we communicated more while it was a CD relationship. I think you guys have a point though and will back off and text him less. Thanks

[Tooki]

It seems that your SO is feeling very overwhelmed with your need for communication.

I recommend that you tell your SO that you will try to step back and give him some breathing room.

It's also normal that you communicated more when CD. I can imagine that you had your own life in the US and he was able to have his own life as well as be with you.

[LDLovebird]

Thank you Tooki. Somehow I thought ppl communicate more when LD actually. I guess that was a misconception. I will step back a big step and see how it goes.

[Tooki]

Thank you Tooki. Somehow I thought ppl communicate more when LD actually. I guess that was a misconception. I will step back a big step and see how it goes.

I wouldn't say that necessarily. I've found that I communicate differently when I'm LD as opposed to CD. When LD, I multitask with my communication.

[LDLovebird]

Multitask with it? What do you mean by that?

[temporaryuser]

My so is working on his masters, taking 17 credits, works ft as a paramedic and pt as a cop.
There are times where I get very little communication from him. When I bring it up he is oblivious to it. When I think about it, he has so much on his mind that he doesn't even realize the communication diminishes
Keep yourself busy. Constantly asking him and hounding him about it is going to push him away for sure

[princessmaria]

Maybe he just isn't big on using technology to communicate. Do you guys have phone conversations, like call each other? Reading too into text can be disastrous for any relationship. There have been plenty of times where I've read a text from my SO and forgotten to respond, busy or not. Since it's only been 3 weeks he's probably still adjusting just like you are. Try not to overwhelm him because then he will start to distance himself from you and your communication will become even less.

Another thing to consider is, most men don't express their love in the same ways that women do. I wouldn't take him not reacting to your sweet pictures as a big deal. I've long since gave up on trying to be romantic with my boyfriend because he just doesn't receive or appreciate it like I would lol. There are other ways to bring you guys closer and better your communication, but the first step I would take is trying to communicate verbally more instead of relying on text. Even if you hear from him less, you both being able to hear each others tone, or if you're video-chatting, see each others facial expressions, will help get rid of your doubts and apprehension.

Edit: My SO has two jobs and is in school as well. I'm taking 16 credit hours this term so we're both busy. In LDR's there's a lot of sacrifice and sometimes communication is one of them.

[rubydissolution]

I didn't mean for my response to be that harsh. I just know I've been in your shoes and I wish someone would have slapped me in the face and told me I was being crazy back then lol.

[lilcupcake]

Like Kacie said about the "written communication", my SO and I both have that problem. so words get jumbled lol. and we have actually almost gotten into fights because of mis-communication. maybe that is his problem. I also think maybe you did do let this settle with him, he may be scared now because of the distance. so don't smother him, but continue to let him know you're in it, and you aren't going anywhere. I think with some reassurance he'll settle into it and everything will be fine.

[LDLovebird]

Thank you all. I appreciate all your responses. I'm feeling a little better now.

princessmaria: only skype every few days for a short time. Rest is whatsapp texts. But I will send voice and video messages instead of texts more via WhatsApp now. And I will decrease the frequency.

Rubydissolution: I understand. I'm ok now the slapping helped xD

Lilcupcake: Hm yeah might be a problem too. I know we both are scared. I will try to stay calmer now.

[LDLovebird]

My so is working on his masters, taking 17 credits, works ft as a paramedic and pt as a cop.
There are times where I get very little communication from him. When I bring it up he is oblivious to it. When I think about it, he has so much on his mind that he doesn't even realize the communication diminishes
Keep yourself busy. Constantly asking him and hounding him about it is going to push him away for sure

Wow your so is even busier than mine lol