Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Speachless.

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    Speachless.

    So, last night I was hanging out and having some drinks with some friends. one of them being my best guy friend. I don't talk to about my SO very often, but it's certainly not a secret and he knows about us. I don't know how it happened, but he suddenly he was talking about me and my "relationship status" (for lack of better words) and right there to my face, he said that I'm currently NOT committed to anyone...?
    I couldn't believe it. He's never shown any excitement for my relationship. but now I can clearly see how he feels about it, if he's going to try to talk it out of existence. I corrected him, of course. but then he went on to talk about "what if when you get to college you meet some great guy, and he turns out to be the guy of your dreams?" His tone of voice was challenging! I was so stunned, I literally just sat there for a second staring at him. my mouth probably did drop open, too.
    To sum up the rest of the conversation:

    Me:.... Then I'd burn that bridge.
    Him: but what if it's a bridge that doesn't need to be burned?
    Me: It will be. Because he won't be the guy of dreams, he'll be another guy putting up a front and then turn into a jerk and hurt me, like all the rest before.
    FIN.
    Tags: conversations, friends, frustrating, speachless
    #2
    It's inconsiderate but unfortunately, usually part of a LDR. People don't always see them as real. And to be honest, I can see the college question being reasonable. People do end relationships and start new ones in college. All the time. Doesn't mean you will, but I wouldn't get too bent out of shape about the question.

    All you can really do in this situation is remind the person you are in fact in a relationship and you currently have no plans to end it. Then change the subject.



    Met online: 1/30/11
    Met in person: 5/30/12
    Second visit: 9/12/12
    Closed the distance: 1/26/13!!!

    Comment

      #3
      when I tried to correct him about the commitment part, he completely cut me off. I was able to get out "but i am" but i was trying to say "but i am committed to Caleb". it was like he didn't want to hear it. and he's still in contact with a girl he met online ELEVEN years ago, and i have to hear him talk about saving up to get her plane ticket. they aren't actually together, but still. it's so annoying...

      Comment

        #4
        Is he hoping to get a foot in the door with you? Why say something like that if not? I can see from your picture you are a pretty girl, is he secretly crushing on you a bit and hoping to get this LDR guy out of the way? This LDR girl could just be a way to pass time while he waits for the person he really wants?

        I would be curious to ask a guy like Tooki, sorry I don't really many other guys here. LOL. If I man is not going out with anyone and he has an attractive girl that is his buddy, does he start to think that he might want to date her? There has been a ton of movies about this, that all say...women are fine with having guys that are just friends, but guys still think in the back of their mind that maybe some day they might want to sleep with them? Any truth to that, guys?
        Last edited by Hollandia; September 24, 2013, 11:58 AM.
        "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
        Benjamin Franklin

        Comment

          #5
          I agree with Hollandia. I think it's weird of him to say something like that unless he has some underlying feelings for you. Otherwise, he should be happy for you and support you!

          Comment

            #6
            Maybe I'm of a different mind but I don't think people have to view your relationship as legitimate - many people wouldn't. Maybe he just doesn't believe in long distance relationships.

            Comment

              #7
              Originally posted by digitalfever View Post
              Maybe I'm of a different mind but I don't think people have to view your relationship as legitimate - many people wouldn't. Maybe he just doesn't believe in long distance relationships.
              No, I agree with this. It doesn't mean he has underlying feelings for you either... He is entitled to an opinion. If it doesn't apply, let it fly. Don't let it upset you if it isn't true. Your defensive attitude makes you seem doubtful of your own relationship. Let him think whatever he wants.

              Comment

                #8
                It sounds more like he's an unbeliever than that he's got a crush on you, at least as far as I can tell. All you can really do is explain in detail that the relationship is real and hopefully he'll accept that. Especially if he's supposed to be one of your best friends.

                Comment

                  #9
                  I'm not doubtful about my relationship, but im starting to be doubtful about the friendship because this isnt the first time he's shown rude behavior. I don't believe he has feelings for me. if so, he's had millions of chances to say something in the 3 almost 4 years we've been close. I guess i just feel like even if he doesn't personally feel LDR's are legitimate, he shouldn't do that to me out of respect. he could just sit and talk with me about it, and directly tell me how he feels, instead of cornering me. does that make sense..? lol
                  Last edited by lilcupcake; September 25, 2013, 08:35 AM. Reason: typo

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by lilcupcake View Post
                    I'm not doubtful about my relationship, but im starting to be doubtful about the friendship because this isnt the first time he's shown rude behavior. I don't believe he has feelings for me. if so, he's had millions of chances to say something in the 3 almost 4 years we've been close. I guess i just feel like even if he doesn't personally feel LDR's are legitimate, he shouldn't do that to me out of respect. he could just sit and talk with me about it, and directly tell me how he feels, instead of cornering me. does that make sense..? lol
                    He did tell you how he felt.

                    Comment

                    Previous template Next
                    Working...
                    X