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Which one is easier?

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    Which one is easier?

    Do you guys think it is easier to get in to a fight long distance or when you live together?
    I can imagine fighting about things long distance because you dont see each other that often and its easier to say mean-ish things online than to someones face. Also things might come across differently.
    On the other hand, if you live together you might fight over little irritations (like toothpaste lid or the toilet seat :P ) or other things.
    Smile every once in a while =)

    #2
    I agree, I think having a fight long distance is harder than when you're able to talk about it in person. Worst case is if it's over text. You can't know what they mean if they don't say it. You don't know if they are mad, if it's a joke or if they're being serious.
    I much, much rather have a fight in person, so I know if what I am saying is having an impact on the other person.
    (Much prefer to not have any fight at all :P)

    Relationship began: 05/22/2012
    First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
    Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
    Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
    Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
    Married: 1/24/2015
    Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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      #3
      Do you mean which fight is easier to resolve, or which way are you more likely to fight? I guess I'm confused.


      2016 Goal: Buy a house.
      Progress: Complete!

      2017 Goal: Pay off credit card debt
      Progress: Working on it.

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        #4
        To get in to: living together. All those little irritations will be ok at first but once you find out more and more you wont be happy.

        To resolve: Hmm thats a though one... also living together i guess because you can show someone how sorry you are. You can read it off someones face. And have a proper talk!
        "If you say you can't, you just don't want to"

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          #5
          I actually tend to think more about the things that I say on chat than when I say them face to face, so I think it is sometimes easier to misinterpret stuff that I say rather than the stuff that I write. Also, taking more time to think and formulate makes me feel bad about being mean so I soften things, even insults.

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            #6
            Fights long distance are definitely harder...especially having one over the phone, when I'd rather be actually with him talking it through in person. Ugh.

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              #7
              Originally posted by snow View Post
              I agree, I think having a fight long distance is harder than when you're able to talk about it in person. Worst case is if it's over text. You can't know what they mean if they don't say it. You don't know if they are mad, if it's a joke or if they're being serious.
              I much, much rather have a fight in person, so I know if what I am saying is having an impact on the other person.
              (Much prefer to not have any fight at all :P)
              This ! And it's terrible even after the fight is over. You can hug and make up in person, but you're on your own long distance. It somehow feels like it's still not okay.

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                #8
                Originally posted by abna1 View Post
                This ! And it's terrible even after the fight is over. You can hug and make up in person, but you're on your own long distance. It somehow feels like it's still not okay.
                ^ True story

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                  #9
                  I think it sorta depends on the couple.

                  DB and I honestly rarely fight, we have bad mood days, and we will snip at one another, but we also are both really emotional people, so when we do get in those situations where we are disagreeing they suck just as much in person as they do LD. We argue the same way we do in person, except instead of being able to smooch up on one another we have to use words. We are both pretty mushy people, so we merely get all lovey dovey and continue on. We also though, have a lot more time to communicate than most. The rare time we truly don't see eye to eye on something, we just agree to disagree.

                  The only thing that makes "fighting" in a LDR suck, is the fact that it is LDR. The "fighting" for us though is the same. [I use quotes because we don't really fight as we disagree."

                  Now, if I was with anyone else, who wasn't as in tune with their emotions as DB, I could see some problems arising. We both hate the feeling when one of us is upset with the other, and neither one of us cares about being right, so we drop things pretty easily.

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                    #10
                    Well we got into way more arguments long distance. But that was all down to circumstances. I think it's easier to resolve in person. For me, it's much harder to stay upset when I actually have to look him in the eye.



                    Met online: 1/30/11
                    Met in person: 5/30/12
                    Second visit: 9/12/12
                    Closed the distance: 1/26/13!!!

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                      #11
                      I feel like fighting LD is infinitely worse. Even with emoticons and textual cues, reading emotions is pretty difficult and not being able to hear or see the other person makes you lose a big part of your empathy. My SO gets really bad at this when we get into fights and takes hours to days to get over it (whereas I am quick to forgive and move on). The time between when I move on and when he does is absolutely horrible, but it is completely absent in person. We get over arguments in a heartbeat.
                      Canadian permanent residence APPROVED!
                      Closed the Distance: 09/26/2019
                      Engaged: 09/26/2020

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                        #12
                        I think sometimes it is easier to annoy each other in person. When he says something that annoys me in chat, I can just brush past it most of the time. If he sees my faces and confronts me in person, it can lead to some heated words. My SO does not really yell when he gets mad, he gets insanely quiet. The quiet is harder to stomach in person too. We really don't fight much but I grab a phone and call if we do in chat, I won't have a fight with typed words this can lead to something being read into something you say that you don't mean that way. It is much better to speak to your love and remember this is the person you love and not just words on a screen.
                        "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
                        Benjamin Franklin

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                          #13
                          My boyfriend and I never fought CD. I find that long distance we have "disagreements" more often, and I usually attribute that to stress we're experiencing. I'm not the easiest person to deal with when I am missing someone, let's just put it that way.
                          started dating: 12/08/12
                          "i love you": 04/12/13
                          el paso: 07/24/13 - 08/05/13
                          montreal: 12/13/13 - 01/03/14
                          el paso: 01/05/14 - 01/19/14
                          montreal: 05/30/14 - 07/27/14
                          el paso: 07/27/14 - 08/18/14
                          el paso: 12/27/14 - 01/16/15
                          el paso: 06/02/15 - 08/17/15
                          san antonio: 02/04/16 - 02/08/16
                          san antonio/el paso: 06/03/16 - 06/21/16

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                            #14
                            Even though my SO and I have literally had small altercations about toothpaste lids, we have so much of a harder time getting along long distance. It's really difficult because we're already both very stubborn opinionated individuals. In person, it's so much easier to weigh each others emotions, tones, body language, and overall intent behind certain things. My SO is extremely blunt (so am I) and we often indulge in crude humor.

                            I admit to getting upset with him often because it's hard to feel like he isn't joking through the internet. Things have been worse since we hardly have time to video chat or even exchange textual messages lately due to our schedules. I absolutely hate long distance I miss him, and he feels so very far away right now.

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                              #15
                              I found that we fought more in person lollll. We lived together for a year and little things would often get to me like leaving dirty plates around or not doing laundry. However, they were easily resolved as I couldn't stay mad at him for long . We don't really fight online - sometimes we'll get into a disagreement but its usually about how we're spending our money or when our next visit is going to be lol.

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