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Should I Ask or Not?

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    Should I Ask or Not?

    Hey all!!
    This is my first post here so please be nice but honest and sorry for the rambling!!
    So I've been speaking to (Let's call him James) James for three months. We met on a penpal website and didn't start talking with romance in mind!! Since then we have been constantly talking with the occasional little break but when we do start talking it's like we started from where we stopped. We talk about everything and also to a very deep level. Recently, I told him that I liked him and he said that he also liked me too and wished I was with him to see what could have happened. I tried to lighten up the mood and we spoke about something different.
    Now, here's the problem. I've been thinking that maybe I should introduce the idea of an Ldr to him? I'll definitely travel next year to where he lives even if we are not in touch anymore, so there is a definite date that we would be meeting.
    Even though I've never met him I feel a connection so strong to him that I'm overwhelmed. We occasionally Skype and video chat for hours when we do! And yes, this is more than an infatuation despite me being 18 (he's 23). So any comments are welcome!
    Btw, I will mention the Ldr idea to him but I want to see what you guys think

    #2
    It can't hurt to ask!

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      #3
      You have a no, it could turn in to a yes
      "If you say you can't, you just don't want to"

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        #4
        I personally think that it's a necessary step for you to take in order to take your friendship/relationship with him to the next level. If he agrees, then your relationship takes on a long distance type nuance. If he isn't into the idea, then he isn't. I guess that's just the risk you might have to take...

        I hope he'll say yes, though! *keeps fingers crossed*

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          #5
          Go for it, girl!

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            #6
            Definitely talk to him about it, good luck!

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              #7
              Thank you all for your comments!! I was feeling slightly ridiculous especially as I haven't met him irl! I'll let you know how it went when I ask :3 I'll need that luck! xD

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                #8
                Definitely talk to him about it, his answer may surprise you! Good luck, girly! :-)

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                  #9
                  you have the same story as me! When I told my SO i liked him, he reacted the same way. for a while after we would occasionally talk about "what ifs" and "maybe" with an LDR. then, I told him i loved him. he was weird about it, but in his own awkward way (and really long ramble) he ended up saying he loved me too.
                  but still, no LDR. a lot more time passed, and i had a little bit of break down. i told him I hated not really being his, etc etc. and he was actually CONFUSED. he said he always thought of me as his gf.

                  probably more than you cared to know about, but the point is, just do it lol.

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by Kim Bear View Post
                    Thank you all for your comments!! I was feeling slightly ridiculous especially as I haven't met him irl! I'll let you know how it went when I ask :3 I'll need that luck! xD
                    Please do, good luck!

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                      #11
                      To everyone who wanted to know the outcome of my little "suggestion"...the answer was... A...Stark...No. Little disappointed but he told me why and I fully understand why he said no which means I can't hate on him. AAAAARRRRFGGGHHHH!!! I shall find my man someday!! ;D

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                        #12
                        I'm glad you aren't too bummed about this! It's good that you asked or you'd have that nagging feeling forever. You're super brave and I'm sure you'll find another great guy. Good luck!

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