Hey everyone.
I'm new, so hopefully I'm posting this in the appropriate area. If not, feel free to move it.
A bit of background info: I met my boyfriend about 4 years ago in my current city, where we both lived. He moved to North Dakota about 2 years ago and we started dating back in January of this year. It's obviously been difficult to deal with his move, and we love each other very much. I have seen him once since we started officially dating on January 31st, and it has now been almost 8 months since I have seen him. It's rough. But we deal with it.
The problem I'm having personally is with knowing how to support him with HIS problems. He has been drinking and smoking weed just about every night to get to sleep, because his work and sleep schedule have totally messed him up and he often works long days - 16 to 18 hours. He is depressed there, which is unlike him. He is usually a very loud, outgoing, funny individual and he loves to be around people constantly. Since he is depressed there, he is wanting to move. But he doesn't know whether he wants to move back to Oregon, or move to Florida, where he thinks he will have better opportunities and be generally happier. I support whatever decision he makes, although I'd obviously like him to move back to Oregon so we can close the distance. The decision of where to move isn't the issue though - the issue is that wherever he decides to move, he will likely be checking himself into rehab to deal with the alcohol and drug dependency. If he goes to rehab in Florida, I obviously won't be able to visit him and I likely won't hear from him for a couple weeks to a month. THAT will be difficult. If he goes to rehab in Oregon, I will be able to visit him and be there physically to support him, but I don't know HOW to support somebody when they get out of rehab, or while they're there. This has been bothering me because I am generally a very supportive girlfriend and the idea of not knowing how to help has got my mind in a knot.
Another unrelated issue that just happened yesterday is he seriously injured his finger and it drives me crazy not being able to do a darn thing about it. I won't disclose the graphic details, but it's bad. He's ok, but worried girlfriend is worried. He won't go to the hospital because he doesn't want to lose his job, knowing that they will U.A. him and he has weed in his system. How do I deal with knowing that my man is pretty severely injured and that I can't physically be there or convince him to be hospitalized?
I'm new, so hopefully I'm posting this in the appropriate area. If not, feel free to move it.
A bit of background info: I met my boyfriend about 4 years ago in my current city, where we both lived. He moved to North Dakota about 2 years ago and we started dating back in January of this year. It's obviously been difficult to deal with his move, and we love each other very much. I have seen him once since we started officially dating on January 31st, and it has now been almost 8 months since I have seen him. It's rough. But we deal with it.
The problem I'm having personally is with knowing how to support him with HIS problems. He has been drinking and smoking weed just about every night to get to sleep, because his work and sleep schedule have totally messed him up and he often works long days - 16 to 18 hours. He is depressed there, which is unlike him. He is usually a very loud, outgoing, funny individual and he loves to be around people constantly. Since he is depressed there, he is wanting to move. But he doesn't know whether he wants to move back to Oregon, or move to Florida, where he thinks he will have better opportunities and be generally happier. I support whatever decision he makes, although I'd obviously like him to move back to Oregon so we can close the distance. The decision of where to move isn't the issue though - the issue is that wherever he decides to move, he will likely be checking himself into rehab to deal with the alcohol and drug dependency. If he goes to rehab in Florida, I obviously won't be able to visit him and I likely won't hear from him for a couple weeks to a month. THAT will be difficult. If he goes to rehab in Oregon, I will be able to visit him and be there physically to support him, but I don't know HOW to support somebody when they get out of rehab, or while they're there. This has been bothering me because I am generally a very supportive girlfriend and the idea of not knowing how to help has got my mind in a knot.
Another unrelated issue that just happened yesterday is he seriously injured his finger and it drives me crazy not being able to do a darn thing about it. I won't disclose the graphic details, but it's bad. He's ok, but worried girlfriend is worried. He won't go to the hospital because he doesn't want to lose his job, knowing that they will U.A. him and he has weed in his system. How do I deal with knowing that my man is pretty severely injured and that I can't physically be there or convince him to be hospitalized?
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