Should you be engaged before relocating?

[Anonymous2]

I don't think you need to be engaged before relocating. However, I think it's a wise idea to have a fall-back plan just in case things don't work out. I'm not trying to say you should plan for a break up, just that you might want to think about establishing your own career, making your own friends, perhaps living separately but in the same location etc. The last thing you'd want is to end up in a strange town with no place to live, no job, and not knowing anyone there to support you. Of course, all of this is very dependent on the circumstances of each individuals relationship. Different things work for different people.

[Dziubka]

You don't need an engagement or a ring on your finger, you need a plan!

I agree with Tooki. Engagement doesn't neccessarily mean anything. I would ideally not get engaged before having lived together.

I think having a back-up plan is always a good idea and I would definitely not move somewhere I wouldn't want to be only for my SO. I think it's important to actually want to be at that other place, even without your SO. Even if you wouldn't have moved there, if it wasn't for them, you need to want to be there for yourself as much as for your SO.

[roosie]

You don't need an engagement or a ring on your finger, you need a plan!

Indeed! Having a ring on your finger could make you feel more secure but it won't give you a job, so I would start from there. Me and my boyfriend have decided not to get engaged before we have lived together for an extended period, but I understand that there is a lot of cultural variation and pressure that might affect your decision, and that is of course okay as long as the desire to do so is coming from yourself and your partner. Personally I would feel much more secure knowing that I have a back up plan and a safety network established in my new town in case things go wrong, rather than rushing into getting engaged.

[LadyDaemon]

You don't need an engagement or a ring on your finger, you need a plan!

I concur with this also. Yes,we did get engaged roughly 5 months before I moved out here,but it wasn't because I was moving. It was just the path our relationship took before I even decided to move. But even if we hadn't gotten engaged I still would've moved out here to be with him. But as others said,it wouldn't hurt to have a back up plan just in case things fall through so you're not left out in the cold with nothing.