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    #16
    Originally posted by Dziubka View Post
    I feel like that might be a cultural issue, but I think that's totally overreacted. I don't have children yet and maybe once I will, I'll see things different.
    But right now:
    16 is not adult by any means, but it's not a child either. And 18 is not pervy, suspiciously old to be in a relationship was someone who's 16. I don't see what's there to be unhappy about if your 16yr old son/daughter was in a relationship was an 18yr old (long distance or not).
    I'm a bit old fashioned about the internetz and I'd like to meet him in person (rather than only on skype...) before letting him stay at my house. And then I'd have to consider him not a total creep But then I'd let him stay. I think when your kids are between the ages where they're complete children and where they can/should pay rent, your house is as much theirs as it is yours. No one should have to accept people they absolutely don't like in their home, but everybody should be allowed to let their friends stay over, if the circumstances allow for that. So unless there was something seriously wrong in my eyes with my children's guests, it wouldn't be fair to not let them stay. They'd also have to put up with mine, after all (well unless they really didn't like someone. Equal rights and all.)

    What would you want to keep an eye on them for? (Serious question here. I'm not trying to provoke you. I'm genuinly curious).
    Yeah, I think this is might be a cultural difference. Like I said, I'd rather have the LDR boyfriend stay at my house than get a hotel or something. I don't think that a 15/16 year old should be with her 18 y.o. boyfriend alone in a hotel room.
    What would I want to keep an eye on them for? Honestly, sex mostly. Like blankita said, in many places this relationship would be illegal. Also, I know how easily influenced I was at 15/16 and how easily I would've caved into pressure from an older boyfriend to have sex (or try drugs or drink, etc). I would try my best to protect my child from getting into an adult situation.
    Some may argue that if they're going to have sex, they'll find a way to have sex, whether they have an unsupervised hotel room or not. Which is probably true. But I'd, personally, rather put some roadblocks that keep the situation from coming up too easily. When I was 16, my parents were way too lax with me. They didn't do enough checking up (things like they never called the parents of my friends to make sure they were home). And by 17, I was doing pretty hardcore drugs and drinking. I don't think I would've gotten in so deep if my parents had been a little more overprotective.

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      #17
      Originally posted by mllebamako View Post
      Yeah, I think this is might be a cultural difference. Like I said, I'd rather have the LDR boyfriend stay at my house than get a hotel or something. I don't think that a 15/16 year old should be with her 18 y.o. boyfriend alone in a hotel room.
      What would I want to keep an eye on them for? Honestly, sex mostly. Like blankita said, in many places this relationship would be illegal. Also, I know how easily influenced I was at 15/16 and how easily I would've caved into pressure from an older boyfriend to have sex (or try drugs or drink, etc). I would try my best to protect my child from getting into an adult situation.
      Some may argue that if they're going to have sex, they'll find a way to have sex, whether they have an unsupervised hotel room or not. Which is probably true. But I'd, personally, rather put some roadblocks that keep the situation from coming up too easily. When I was 16, my parents were way too lax with me. They didn't do enough checking up (things like they never called the parents of my friends to make sure they were home). And by 17, I was doing pretty hardcore drugs and drinking. I don't think I would've gotten in so deep if my parents had been a little more overprotective.
      Thank you for your explanation.
      I guess I think it's perfectly fine for a 16yr old (I suppose the OP will be 16 by the time her boyfriend visits) and an 18yr old to have sex. It's perfectly legal in my country, too. Even 15 and 18 is.
      Thinking of it, even drinking is sort of legal for 16yr olds.
      My parents always trusted me to do the right thing and I had a lot of freedom, way before I was 18 and I'm so thankful for it. Compared to my friends with overprotective parents I was way more reasonable and didn't do as dangerous shit when I turned 18.

      There's probably no such thing as "right parenting".

      Być tam, zawsze tam, gdzie Ty.

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        #18
        Honestly OP i don't think there is anything you can say to your parents to let your boyfriend stay at their house if they aren't okay with it, but i'm also in the if my daughter was 15 and her boyfriend 18 i sure as hell wouldn't let them be alone together nor would I honestly let him stay under my roof and I wouldn't let her go out with him alone so basically i'd say no he couldn't come to visit my child (at 15 you don't fully think things through you think you are always right and your parents are wrong, but that's not the case at all and your parents are just looking out for your best interests).

        when i say you i mean kids in general***




        Treasuretrooper <-- how I helped pay for some of my LDR expenses when I was in one.

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