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How do you deal with those wistful left out moments?

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    How do you deal with those wistful left out moments?

    M is going to a convention with a bunch of friends Fri/Sat/Sun/Mon, and we'll have very limited time to talk. He really needs the break and I'm glad he's getting a chance to do something for himself and hang out with friends. (He's been working really hard on the end of his PhD.)

    But there's still that feeling of wistfulness, being left out, because I'm not there and the event sounds really fun. Being the exceptionally sweet and caring guy that he is, he's suggesting we get in extra skype time this week before he leaves, and said he'll try to send me some texts/pics from the event, which is awesome. He's going out of his way to be wonderful, as usual.

    And yet I'm just feeling so blah about the distance, about how I'm NEVER able to be there for anything fun like that. It just feels so futile.

    Meh. It'll pass. I'm just down about it today for some reason.

    Anyone have good coping things you do when you're feeling left out/down about being so far away?

    #2
    Music and looking at his pictures is typically what I do, but it kinda copes the pain inside for me. Do you have creative outlets like dancing, making music, writing, art, etc? Those work the best personally. Whenever I miss him a lot, I feel lazy and mope around, but I find that when I fight that lazy feeling, I get distracted from the pain and get along much easier. Just get out there and maybe find events to participate in for yourself Good luck!!!

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      #3
      I would second the going out idea! Staying in, even if you can find the strength to do something productive, will probably not help with the sadness. Go out, see a movie, meet friends, do something fun! Then you can have lots of positive energy to share when he comes back and you can talk again

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        #4
        Just do what you enjoy doing. He'll be off doing his own thing, so it'll be a great opportunity for you to do your own thing just for yourself, too. It's okay to miss him, but don't feel left out because it's not like that; I'm sure you know that already. Besides, it's just for like four days. Four days can fly by super quick.

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          #5
          Go out and enjoy yourself, if you sit at home you'll just be wishing you were there the whole time. Plan something that you can enjoy too.

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            #6
            Yes. Going out. I should do that. lol. Maybe I'll give some friends who are a bit father away a call, the ones I don't get to see as regularly. See if plans can be made.

            And yeah, it's just four days, which is why it seems so ridiculous to feel left out. Gah. Long-distance makes me so much clingier, I swear.

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              #7
              Originally posted by silvermoonfairy3 View Post
              Yes. Going out. I should do that. lol. Maybe I'll give some friends who are a bit father away a call, the ones I don't get to see as regularly. See if plans can be made.

              And yeah, it's just four days, which is why it seems so ridiculous to feel left out. Gah. Long-distance makes me so much clingier, I swear.
              I think we all feel the same way at times. Often I build up how bad it is going to be in head and once it really gets here it isn't so bad. Hopefully the same will be true with you.

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                #8
                Originally posted by srtd35 View Post
                I think we all feel the same way at times. Often I build up how bad it is going to be in head and once it really gets here it isn't so bad. Hopefully the same will be true with you.
                Thanks
                I'm sure it will be, I'll make some plans and go have fun, and he'll send me some emails/texts about having fun, and the weekend will fly right by. I was just having a "god, distance sucks so much" moment.

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                  #9
                  Ugggghhh, Thursday just got added to the mix because he's picking up a friend at the airport earlier than he thought. Kicking the trip from "long weekend" closer to "whole week" lol.

                  See, this is where timezone stuff sucks, though. When I've dated people that are nearby, and they're gone for 5-day/weeklong trips (work or vacation or whatever) that I couldn't go on for whatever reason, there's still that option to call each other at the end of the night, and catch up on each other's day, and say goodnight. With our timezones, there will effectively be no time to talk for the whole time he's gone, minus emails and some texts.

                  Grrrrrr distance.

                  (He did mention maybe he'd be able to duck away for a bit, but I honestly don't need him to do that, and I told him so. I want him to enjoy being with his friends and de-stressing, not thinking about keeping track of time to ditch them for a bit to talk to me.)


                  That said, I've made some plans with a couple friends I don't get to see very often, so I'm just gonna go out, stay busy, and have some fun.

                  (But grrr distance
                  Last edited by silvermoonfairy3; October 22, 2013, 10:03 AM.

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