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How do you cope with the "uncertainty" of the future?

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    #16
    Originally posted by Dziubka View Post
    I don't know if this is what you want to hear, but closing the distance doesn't "just happen" to anyone. There'll always be some degree of uncertainty, but there are also always a lot of things that you can influence.
    Closing the distance always requires some kind of sacrifices, a lot of work and (unfortunately) most of the time a lot of money.
    You have to decide what realistic options you have and what sacrifices you're willing to accept. Actually graduating university is a pretty convenient time to move and settle somewhere new.
    I'm not a fan of the one day at a time approach, not when you can actually influence your situation anyway.
    I would consider the possibilities:
    How hard is it to get into the programme that your SO wants to do? What are the chances that he'll be accepted?
    If he doesn't get accepted, what job options are there for you where he lives? Would you be ok with moving to where he is, even if that means accepting a lower paid/qualified job?
    Sacrifices definitely need to made when closing the distance. That I have noticed when we have talked about what possibilities we have, because eventually it is either me or him who is leaving their home country.

    Actually, it is very difficult to get into the programme where my SO is applying to. Only about 15 students get in (not sure how many apply, it varies from year to year). He has to have very high grades from Bachelor's degree, and also do a GMAT test with high grades. He has double courses this semester in his Bachelor's degree, and at the same time he is trying to study for the GMAT that he has to take next January. He is definitely trying his best and I love him for that! But overall, it is definitely not certain he will get in, so we need a plan B for sure.

    If he doesn't get accepted, I will most likely try to get a job where he lives... the good thing is, I have a basic understanding of his language, but I can't really communicate with it so jobs where you need Swedish are out of question for now. If I would apply for a job there it would unfortunately have to be something lower paid, which I am definitely not excited about as I would like to get something that is on the level of my education. So it would be a huge sacrifice from me... but the advantage of this is that by actually living in his country, I would learn the language more quickly (especially because I already have the basic understanding of it). I'm willing to think about this though if the first plan doesn't work.

    So him getting accepted for the degree would be the ideal thing for now, cause getting a job from my country is way easier for me now... I would start learning his language the beginning of next year by taking courses and actively training myself, so after 2-3 years when he's done with his studies, we have the option to also move to his country.

    We are trying not to worry about this that much right now, because it all depends so much on does he get accepted or not. But of course he has to worry in the sense that he has to study for the GMAT...

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      #17
      My SO and I have a basic time frame of 1 year or so until we can close the distance. We've been together for over 6 months now so we'll have a total of being LD for a year & a half. Which is pretty common.
      The big issues for us is school. I found a school to transfer to where my SO lives. Just have to keep my grades good (where they are now) and I'll be set.
      I also recently got a job at Best Buy. I found out that they can help me transfer to another store in or out of state. Which is fantastic!
      There are a lot of important details to work out, but we have a basic plan. Gives us hope. It's always good to plan ahead. The future can change in a second. That's why we're planning the big things now and adding more details later on.
      Knowing that the distance won't last forever helps me cope with the uncertainties of life.
      Best of luck



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