New LDR

[Squirmer1015]

My boyfriend and I are just now beginning out LDR. He his going to college in Nashville, TN (left on the 18th) & I am doing my Senior year of high school in Central Florida area. It will be our 1 year anniversary on the 24th. We will not be together for our anniversary, neither of our 18th birthdays, holidays, & we will not be together for my senior year activities (as I was around for all of his).

We were in what I called a mini LDR. Because we lived about 30-40 mins away, attended different school, and only got to see each other usually twice a week at church. In that relationship he got grounded for over 3 months to where I only got to talk to him and see him once a week at church on Sunday.

Anyway, he's off at college and I'm here. & this seems to be much harder for me even though I can chat with him, text him, call him, web cam chat with him. I have spent every night since he left crying and wishing that he wouldn't have left.

I am staying in FL for college, so our LDR will at least be 4 yrs long (for him to be in college), maybe longer depending on where he gets a job.

So my question is, does it get easier? Do you have any tips for me? How can I calm myself down? Do you ever really get used to missing the person you love?

Thanks.

[LadyMarchHare]

It's not a surprise it's currently harder on you. College is a much different environment than high school and it will keep you busy either academically or socially, sometimes both. But usually I've seen it's harder for those who were in person to suddenly find themselves unable to do things taken for granted such as hugs or holding hands than it is for someone who met them via internet and aren't aware of what they're missing.

As for it getting easier, well you'll get used to it and hopefully get a schedule of communication going and there is always visits if you guys can save enough for during breaks. Naturally these things are not easy, if they were we wouldn't have this forum but luckily by being here you get support from 'veterans' who would know more than, say, your mom or a friend. However, nothing is ever written in stone. The time of distance may become shorter, things may change so that you're able to see each other more, you never know. It's all about faith, trust, and communication. You guys may have a long physical distance, but your emotional distance is still where you've always been, by each others' side, and will stay that way.

And welcome to the forum.

[paulawriteslove]

Well first and foremost, welcome to the forums
I believe that a LDR does get somewhat easier. You will adjust to the distance and will probably fall into some kind of routine. You will have to put a ton of trust into your SO! Just remember that communication is very important!!! Best of luck

[Silviar]

Welcome to the forums. We're here to support you - don't be afraid to post if you have stuff to get off your mind. The blogs are a good place as well.

So my question is, does it get easier? Do you have any tips for me? How can I calm myself down? Do you ever really get used to missing the person you love?

The distance...I wouldn't say it gets easier, I'd say it waxes and wanes depending on lots of factors. You'll adjust after the initial hard period, but you'll also have times where it's very difficult - bumps along the way. My suggestion is to get a little selfish - concentrate on improving your own life, and making it wonderful without his presence. Then let your time with him and love enhance your life. I know it's hard to do, and you'll go through phases where you just miss him like crazy too much to feel good, but you WILL get through it.

Sometimes day by day if that's what it takes.

[loveonspeedial]

Squirm: I'm in the same sitution as you. I met my SO in school and now she's in central FL attending college and I'm in SE FL. We usually only got to see each other once or twice a week, and now I'm going crazy without her, she left on the 17th. I feel like it's easier for her cause she's in college full time and will be for the next 4 years whereas I'm just kinda chilling..long story as to why I can't go to college. I work but I work nights, she's home at nights so it makes everything just a little more stressful. Whenever I start to really miss her, I leave her an eyejot message or I write her a long letter saying everything I can't say to her at that moment. It's hard as hell. I don't know how these international couples do it, I think it's a million times worse when you've spent years with your SO and then their gone cause you miss all the little things, whereas some don't know what their so smells like, or how their face lights up when you whip up their favorite meal. It's very hard. But If you love each other and it's meant to be it will work, and maybe he'll reconsider his school as you might too. Maybe you guys can agree to attend a school halfway or something. Visst every month, take a percentage of your allowence, pay check and put it away for visiting, that's what I've been doing since July and I have almost a hundred saved up!