how far is long distance?

[JET]

Hello.

~Just curious really, looking round the forum (I'm a newbie today! ) I've noticed some people think like an hour isn't a LDR because you can see each other every weekend or so, whereas some disagree.

What do you think 'counts' as a LDR?

[itsjen516]

I'm gonna say 5 hours or more and when you can't see the person every week or so like when it actually takes a long time when you guys see each other.
I actually get really annoyed when people say "I'm in a long distance relationship" yet they see each other on weekends and are about an hour or 2 away

[sarahjane1992]

Hello.

~Just curious really, looking round the forum (I'm a newbie today! ) I've noticed some people think like an hour isn't a LDR because you can see each other every weekend or so, whereas some disagree.

What do you think 'counts' as a LDR?

Hello there! Welcome to LFAD!
I guess I'm one of those people who thinks an hour away isn't an LDR. To me, this is just my personal opinion, being an hour away from your SO and seeing them every week in my mind dosen't really fit into the LDR box. I know there are plenty of people on here who will disagree with me, but that's the beauty of a forum like this.
Diverse people with diverse opinions.

[MissButterfly]

I personally really don't think we should be debating this. If you think you are in a LDR then you are. If that means you're one hour away or 10, I don't care. It's really not up to me or anyone to judge whether someone else is in an LDR or not, especially because this is a support forum. I get extremely annoyed when someone on here says 'Oh but that's not an LDR', because it completely defeats the point of this site.

[kiara_silver]

Me and my SO are over 4000 miles apart, with a 8 hour time difference. So I would say we fit the long distance category. For me there's levels of long distance. I don't think someone a hour away can fully compare to someone a plane ride away. But even so distance is hard, my SO's brother and his girl are about a hour drive apart, I wouldn't say there fully long distance, just semi lol

[JET]

I personally really don't think we should be debating this. If you think you are in a LDR then you are. If that means you're one hour away or 10, I don't care. It's really not up to me or anyone to judge whether someone else is in an LDR or not, especially because this is a support forum. I get extremely annoyed when someone on here says 'Oh but that's not an LDR', because it completely defeats the point of this site.

I didn't want to cause drama.
I presumed it was okay cos I saw others talking about it - feel free to delete this post if ness.

[Anoulie]

I'd say long distance starts when you can't just go over there and see your SO when you feel like it. For some, they might be in an LDR at 100 miles (especially if you don't have a car), but others may just drive 3 h to their SO every weekend like it's no big deal. There's no hard rule.

[MissButterfly]

I didn't want to cause drama.
I presumed it was okay cos I saw others talking about it - feel free to delete this post if ness.

Oh no, I didn't mean in like that!! I mean we are free to debate this, but personally I don't think there is a debate because I believe that anyone who perceives his/her relationship as LDR is in an LDR. I just don't like it when people tell other people on this forum that they are not in a 'real' LDR according to their personal standards, because that's really mean when someone comes here looking for support.

[itsjen516]

Wow people here are nice when they don't agree lol last night on some Britney Spears fan site someone didnt agree and told me to go kill my self -_- and alot of other nasty comments tsk tsk lol glad if we don't fully agree we can be adults about it

[Ejoriah]

I agree with MissButterfly. I think it gets difficult when trying to quantify what exactly - what distance etc - someone is. When you say 1h away, is that one hour driving? What if none of them have cars and see each other only when they can get rides there and back, and that averages out to every two months or more? If 1h away isn't long distance, then is 1h30 long distance? You get where I'm going with this.

I am personally 2h away from my boyfriend... by plane. Driving, it is more like 12h. We see each other at least once a month. It's nothing difficult compared to some other people, but I still miss him incredibly when I'm not with him, I still feel terrible that we can't be together everyday, I still want him to be part of my everyday life (which he isn't - he's only met a tiny fraction of my friends etc). I still feel like my heart is getting ripped away from me when I have to walk away from him at the airport. I would get very mad at anyone who told me this wasn't a LDR just because I get to see him every month.

[snow]

I agree with MissButterfly. I used to think that you had to be a certain distance away, but honestly, it's not our job to judge if anyone's relationship is an LDR or not. If they are here, they believe so and deserve the same support as any other member.

[sarahjane1992]

Me and my SO are over 4000 miles apart, with a 8 hour time difference. So I would say we fit the long distance category. For me there's levels of long distance. I don't think someone a hour away can fully compare to someone a plane ride away. But even so distance is hard, my SO's brother and his girl are about a hour drive apart, I wouldn't say there fully long distance, just semi lol

I like that, semi long distance. LOL makes sense to me!

@JET there have been many discussions about this topic. In my mind, the more discussions the better! We're here to support each other, answer questions, help each other and have different opinions. That's the beauty of a website like this.

@itsjen516 exactly. We can disagree and be adults. If everyone had the same views on everything, it'd be pretty boring!

[LadyDaemon]

I didn't want to cause drama.
I presumed it was okay cos I saw others talking about it - feel free to delete this post if ness.

No no you're fine. It's just this topic has been kinda a touchy one on the forum as of late. But anyway,to answer your question,I agree with Miss B and Ejoriah. I don't think you can really quantify what constitutes a LDR. Like someone else mentioned,you can be an hour or 30 minutes away and due to circumstances still not be able to see them but every few weekends or every couple of months. I can't personally say what that's like because I was 1400 miles away and almost a day & a half bus ride. So I can honestly say we were definitely LD. But just because that's so,doesn't make someone else who is only 30 minutes away in any less of a LDR then I was. I think we all have a struggle no matter how close or how far. We miss our SOs all the same.

[TwoThree]

As far as I'm concerned, my definition of a LDR is not being close enough to spontaneously go out for pizza in the evening on a work day.

I say this, and I see my SO twice/three times a year.

[CanadianGirl]

I think if you feel like you need support for the time you spend apart from your SO, that's long distance. It's not like there's going to be "slightly-shorter distance relationship" support sites out there . I have many couple friends who live an hour apart from each other, but only see each other on weekends or worse due to school or work. As a person who needs and shows love physically, even one week apart is rough, and this is from a person who goes for 6 months between visits.

There's physical distance, there's financial distance and there's just time you're forced to be apart (visas, families etc.). I think they all qualify and, to be frank, I don't think anyone benefits from this particular discussion on this forum, you know? If you've found this site, regardless of your "distance", you are very much welcome here .