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is it true that a relationship is not healthy if you dont fight ?

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    is it true that a relationship is not healthy if you dont fight ?

    me and my boyfriend NEVER fight. I dont know to much about it since he is my 1st boyfriend but people tell us fighting is healthy. I personaly HATE fights ! i had a friend who i would fight with EVERY day and it was so bad. So i dont get why people say fighting is healthy when all it did to me was stress me out. That saying i just never had a reason to fight with him. Sure we get annoyed at each other but it never last more then a few text and with in a few minutes of calmy talking it out and saying sorry, we go back to saying i love you and dont worry about it. Idk we just have a very relaxed relationship.

    #2
    Never say never. You will one day, and its how you come out of the fight that matters. Dont stress over it.
    Made it official: 12-01-10
    First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
    Closed the distance: 07-31-13

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      #3
      My SO and I also have a similar relationship. We're typically able to discuss the issue out, expressing our perspective and trying to understand each other. I think when people say "fights are healthy", it means more like "encountering problems and figuring it out by compromising with one another" is more what it means. I can't see how yelling at one another in itself solves anything, besides maybe help vent frustration.

      If you guys don't have fights, that's great! Remember to keep that communication in case bigger issues come along, and you'll do fine.

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        #4
        You haven't been together that long. My ex and I were always like "wow! We never fight!" for probably the first two years of our relationship. Then they started and boy were they intense.

        I can pretty much guarantee you'll "fight" at some point. It can be healthy or unhealthy. All depends on how you handle it.



        Met online: 1/30/11
        Met in person: 5/30/12
        Second visit: 9/12/12
        Closed the distance: 1/26/13!!!

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          #5
          yes our commincation is really good like for example once i made a comment about not having many friends but it hurt him cuz he really dosnt have friends and he was saying it hurts to see me say i have no one when im usally out with people when all he does is sit home. But he was super calm about we talked it out and with in 30 minutes it was good again. no stress NEVER yelling or cursing. idk i like it

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            #6
            I wouldn't say fighting is healthy so much as discussion/communication that results from disagreement and comes from resolving an issue is healthy.

            My SO and I also have not really "fought". I'm not sure if it's that people's definitions of fighting differ. We've disagreed and I've been pouty at times but it's never been "fighting". I think that also has to do with seeing my very good friend's marriage on the point of divorce less than a year after she got married because they "fought" all the time and never communicated - or, that was her way of communicating and his way of closing up. I've been really careful about making sure to express my feelings and talk out potential issues before they become anything and encouraged my SO to do the same. So far, it's worked out. I think it's more how a couple handles their relationship and the issues that arise that allow it to be healthy versus not healthy.
            When two hearts are meant for each other, no distance is too far,
            no time is too long, and no other love can break them apart.

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              #7
              fighting is not healthy. resolving real issues is healthy. if both of you are the type that stays out of trouble you might want to learn a few agression-boosting tricks, because every now and then it is really necessary to pick that special fight. If you are happy about the way you resolve your issues for the time beein, don't think anything more about it.
              I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
              - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



              "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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                #8
                Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
                fighting is not healthy. resolving real issues is healthy. if both of you are the type that stays out of trouble you might want to learn a few agression-boosting tricks, because every now and then it is really necessary to pick that special fight. If you are happy about the way you resolve your issues for the time beein, don't think anything more about it.
                ya we pick out little things here or there but never loud i guess its just the way we both are ?

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                  #9
                  I think not fighting is only unhealthy if, instead of fighting, you bottle away what's bothering you and can't talk about it.
                  So, here you are
                  too foreign for home
                  too foreign for here.
                  Never enough for both.

                  Ijeoma Umebinyuo, Diaspora Blues

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                    #10
                    From the very beginning my SO and I would get into little spats whenever we disagreed. If anything, we have started arguing less because we understand each other better. I always think our relationship started off on a "I REALLY don't want to like you but I do..." kind of note, and now we're here over two years later. Every relationship is different. I think the fact that you guys do get annoyed with each other but acknowledge it, apologize for any hurt feelings, and move on is a good sign. It's not really the fighting in a relationship that's healthy, it's how you grow and learn from it as a couple instead of letting it tear you apart.

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                      #11
                      We've disagreed, we've been angry or hurt, but we've always worked things out. We're not the type of people to scream or yell. When I think "fight" I think yelling and screaming. By that definition we've never fought.

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                        #12
                        Arguments can help relationships grow stronger, but relationships can be plenty strong without them. Conflict is a natural part of human life, so if you have it in your relationship, then it's perfectly fine as long as things don't turn belligerent and you resolve it well. I would not enforce fighting whatsoever in a relationship however.

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                          #13
                          I'm going to go ahead and agree with everyone else on this one: it's not the fighting that's healthy in a relationship, it's how the two of you resolve the fight and learn from it. Arguments are inevitable in relationships, and although ya'll haven't gotten into a serious fight yet, it's almost bound to happen. As long as you both talk through it, listen to each other with open minds, and come to a resolution, that's what's most important

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by RachelAnne View Post
                            I'm going to go ahead and agree with everyone else on this one: it's not the fighting that's healthy in a relationship, it's how the two of you resolve the fight and learn from it. Arguments are inevitable in relationships, and although ya'll haven't gotten into a serious fight yet, it's almost bound to happen. As long as you both talk through it, listen to each other with open minds, and come to a resolution, that's what's most important
                            ya me and him always say we know we will fight one day but as long as we work it out we will be ok

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                              #15
                              I think there's a difference when it comes to this, as everyone else said. My ex and I never fought, but that's because everything was bottled up inside, and eventually led to the failure of that relationship (coupled with various other issues). My current boyfriend and I "fight", if you can even call it that when one of us raises their voices/adopts a serious tone for more than 10 seconds, but I've made it a point that we resolve the issue before moving on. It's not the fighting that's healthy, it the resolving of the issue. But trust me, even if you don't fight now, it'll happen eventually. My boyfriend haven't "fought" until this month. It's healthy to disagree sometimes and you get to know each other better through that.
                              started dating: 12/08/12
                              "i love you": 04/12/13
                              el paso: 07/24/13 - 08/05/13
                              montreal: 12/13/13 - 01/03/14
                              el paso: 01/05/14 - 01/19/14
                              montreal: 05/30/14 - 07/27/14
                              el paso: 07/27/14 - 08/18/14
                              el paso: 12/27/14 - 01/16/15
                              el paso: 06/02/15 - 08/17/15
                              san antonio: 02/04/16 - 02/08/16
                              san antonio/el paso: 06/03/16 - 06/21/16

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