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**loveonspeedial** · August 23, 2010, 03:45 PM

My gf just moved too, not as far but still. She moved to about 3-4 hours away. It broke my heart at first, I took it really personal and got furious and I wasted so time crying and being all "WHAT IF WE DON'TWORK etc etc" which just led to fights and that wasn't fun and she waited to pack and stuff until her last week here so he didn't get to see each other, My best advice I can give you is talk about it, try it if you really like it each other, but LDR's aren't for crushes usually, unless it turns into more. Don't stress about it, don't waste your time like I did. I spent months being pissy and what not abut it and basically gave up and started so many fights. I could of spent that time with my gf being happy but I ruined it. I'd be like OMG YOU'RE ONLY HERE FOR ONE MORE MONTH, WTF WHY ARE U WITH YOUR FRIENDS?! aviod that..cause what I realised is that they have to say bye to their friends and family too, so don't take it too personal if you end up crossing that path with your boyfriend, BE UNDERSTANDING!! It's probably hard for him too. Wait to be horriblely sad after he leaves.

**paulawriteslove** · August 23, 2010, 04:37 PM

You have to be strong through this whole process. If you think it will work and put effort into the relationship, then it most likely will work. But if you think that it won't work, then it probably won't. You have to be positive! You can work through the distance.

**noodle** · August 23, 2010, 05:36 PM

Be strong and talk to him

In a LDR both sides are very important so if he's all "oh it wont work anyway" and stuff than it'll be very difficult :/
He has to bring just as much effort into the relationship as you do. So just talk to him and maybe let time decide ?
All the best

**OhSupEmily** · August 23, 2010, 05:48 PM

Thankyou so much! I'll make sure to keep posting updates and stuff. He says he will try the long distance thing. So I really hope this works!!

**hellojamie** · August 24, 2010, 02:59 AM

Long Distance is doable, as long as you both are completely invested into it. Most important things: communication and trust.

My SO and I started out in the same city, he moved, and we've now spent the vast majority of our relationship living long-distance. It's actually worked kind of well for us- I got to finish school without having to choose between being with him and working/studying, and he can devote long hours to his career without him having to worry about breaking dinner plans with me or missing an opportunity with a client. And in the long run, it's strengthened us both to where we can live independently while still loving each other. I decided to take a job with Disney, 20 hours away, and his reaction was not, "Baby, stay here for me," but, "If they offer you that job and you don't take it because you want to stay with me, I will break up with you right now." We both have absolute faith that we'll work out, and I know we'll be together soon.

I've had relationships end "because" of distance, but in those situations, distance was really just an excuse. The real reasons were just simply that we weren't meant to be together, the distance brought that into a harsh light immediately, and we went on our separate ways.

If you and your SO want to do it, it's rough, but it's worth it.

**OhSupEmily** · August 24, 2010, 04:56 PM

We're gonna try it. But before anything, we have some problems to sort out.

**MTK** · August 24, 2010, 05:03 PM

Resolving whatever problems you have before he leaves will be a good idea. That way neither of you will have to worry about it and can fully trust each other and know that nothing is going to make it harder for you when you already have the distance to worry about when he moves.
After you have talked everything out you should just enjoy each others presence and get some hugs and closeness as that is something that you will be missing when he is in New York.

**pytsip** · August 24, 2010, 05:16 PM

I know when my boyfriend first started talking about going to china, it tore me apart. Not only was I upset that I had just fallen in love with this wonderful guy (we were dating for about a month and a half when his friend brought up the China thing) but he was also my best friend for 2 years prior to that. I was losing the love of my life and my best friend. The real blow didn't come until he had finally decided to take the opportunity and go to China. Not because I finally knew that he really was leaving, I knew him well enough to know that ever since he first brought it up that he would do it, but that the night he decided to do it, he called me and told me the dreaded 4 words "we need to talk". He wanted to break up because he said that he didn't want to put me through that (I had been in a relationship with a guy in the Navy) and he said that he didn't want to put me through what that guy put me through. I bawled my eyes out and told him that I really thought this was something we needed to talk about in person. So he came over, and we talked, I explained to him that he was the perfect guy for me, and that 7500 miles wouldn't stop me from thinking that. I told him that I understood he needed to do this, and that I would fully support him and that I would also wait for him to come back. Instantly he sat up, looked at me and said "really? you'll really wait?" and I looked at him and shook my head yes.

The point of this story is that maybe your SO thinks that it's easier on both of you to say that you don't think it'll work out with the distance. But it's really something that you need to talk to him about. If you feel like he's someone worth waiting for until you can close that distance, then don't let the miles separate you. In today's day and age, it is easier than ever to love someone from a distance and if you're willing to work at it, and he's worth it to you, then you need to tell him that.

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