Did I say something bad?

[OperaDiva]

So yesterday, when we were talking on Skype, I blurted out something.

"I am starting to forget what your touch feels like."

I have been feeling sad and disconnected lately (although we speak every day, sometimes for hours). I just miss his touch a lot, I never thought I am this physical a person when it comes to affection. He didn't react badly, he said we will remember soon (in a month), but I could tell it made him sad. And now I can't shake this phrase off ...

[mellif]

I don't think it's necessarily 'bad'. Sometimes when we're feeling low about the situation, it's ok to lean on the other person a bit. I'd feel bad if my SO said that, but only because I'd either feel the same way, or have a desire to help them in the best/quickest way possible. I think expressing phrases like that every once in a while are ok, if you feel like you need your SO's reassuring words.

[Ghosthammer]

I don't think it's necessarily 'bad'. Sometimes when we're feeling low about the situation, it's ok to lean on the other person a bit. I'd feel bad if my SO said that, but only because I'd either feel the same way, or have a desire to help them in the best/quickest way possible. I think expressing phrases like that every once in a while are ok, if you feel like you need your SO's reassuring words.

I second this.

[sarahjane1992]

I think everyone has gone through this at some point.
It's been 3 weeks since our last visit and we have around 50 (hopefully) until our next.
I have been really sad lately too. I love talking to my SO and I could look at that handsome face all day long but nothing is better than physical affection.
I miss his hugs and kisses. With school + a new demanding job, I've been extra stressed the past few weeks.
There are sometimes that I just need his hug. And it frustrates me that I can't have it.
Hang in there. *hugs*

[Irina_Linn]

its not bad,dont worry.my SO forgot about my birthmark on my hip,which is really obvious if you at least once saw me naked its normal you forget some things because firstly,its physical,and secondly,its not repetitive.

[Anonymous2]

"Without physical contact, emotional affirmation becomes much more important" - The LDR survival guide.

I don't think you said anything bad. If anything, it's good that you're being honest about how you feel instead of bottling it all up inside until you have a breakdown and really say something that could be misconstrued. However, I did read something about important ways to communicate with your partner in a LDR. Communication is really important, but there are ways to express your feeling without making the other person feel guilty or sad. For instance, instead of saying "I'm starting to forget your touch" you could say "I can't wait till you're here and I can touch you again", or the next time you're doing something fun instead of saying "Too bad you aren't here" say "This night would be perfect if you were here". It's the little things in what each person says that make their partner feel loved and missed instead of feeling left out. Again, you didn't do/say anything wrong and the way that he responded should indicate how much he shares your opinion. This is a good thing. If you still feel guilty after a few more days maybe do/say something to let him know how much you love him...

Hope that helped!

[differentcountries]

You can remember/fantasize with him how it felt like. I know it is not as good as the real thing, but like reading a cookbook it creates an appetite. With my SO it was a little hard to start with because I think remembering made him sad, but now more than often he is the one starting it. It was good, thinking about it feels good, it will feel good again.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

You didn't say anything wrong. You were expressing how you were feeling and I know what it's like to miss their touch. I am feeling it right now. It's so hard being apart from the one you love the most. He was probably sad because he was feeling it too and he was feeling helpless like he couldn't make it better at that moment. Guys tend to try to fix things, and if there isn't anything he can do, he feels helpless. Sometimes, we just really need them and the distance really gets tough. Right now, I feel that way and I just need him. Sometimes we all need a little reassurance. You guys will be together soon!

[OperaDiva]

Thank you all for the kind words

I am still a little stuck in this unreal feeling, but I thought about this the whole day today and I figured - it has been a few weeks already and I have had a lot of new stuff to deal with (a whole country full of new stuff), so it is not abnormal that some tactile memories are fuzzy. And forgetting the exact feeling of a touch does not mean I am starting to fall out of love. In a few weeks we will meet again, and maybe we can fall in love again it is all up to us and we are not the type of people to give up easily!

[Rachelm920]

It's been 69 days (haha 69) since I saw my SO. I say it all the time and he does too. It also seems like whenever one of us is feeling weaker, the other one is having a stronger day so we're able to pull ourselves out of it. It's like Jerry McGuire - "You complete me"

Today I'm kinda having a bit of a sad day... because our next "date" just got pushed back so yeah... I think a lot of mine is frustration too. I miss the intimacy (and I don't even mean intimacy intimacy)... I mean it was hot and summer the last time I saw him, and now there's snow in the forecast. I wanna cuddle under my blankets with my SO when mother nature throws up outside but I guess it'll just be me and the kitten (at least she's fluffy).

[conejita_hada]

What you said was completely understandable. I know it's not the same as touch, but scent memory is also an amazing thing to keep. If you haven't already, maybe next visit exchange a clothing item each? My SO gave me his shirt and I had him keep one of my scarves and my pillow. I got a teddy bear to "wear" the shirt and it's the best thing to comfort me because even though I can't feel his arms wrap around me when I'm sad, every time I hold the bear close, it's like part of his presence envelopes me.

[itsjen516]

no its not bad at all at least not in my opnion
its ok to be sad me and my BF say things like that to

[OperaDiva]

yeah, I think what shocked me was how sad he looked all of a sudden. I have even cried to him on Skype in the first week when we went LD and his face was almost as sad this time. I hate seeing him like this, he has and has had enough hardship in his life, I don't want to add to that.

@conejita - I tried to convince him to give me one of his sweatshirts when I was leaving, but he got me a new (sexier) one instead as a parting gift ... I will have to think of a way this time around!

[lejon]

Thank you all for the kind words

I am still a little stuck in this unreal feeling, but I thought about this the whole day today and I figured - it has been a few weeks already and I have had a lot of new stuff to deal with (a whole country full of new stuff), so it is not abnormal that some tactile memories are fuzzy. And forgetting the exact feeling of a touch does not mean I am starting to fall out of love. In a few weeks we will meet again, and maybe we can fall in love again it is all up to us and we are not the type of people to give up easily!

I have that feeling too sometimes, especially if there has been a long time apart. I remember when we had a 4 week break (the first break we EVER had from each other), and when we finally saw each other again we were both actually feeling a little shy to touch each other or kiss it was so funny and weird, but so exciting
So the good thing is, when you guys see each other again the intimacy and touch feels x10 better! <3

[Lucky]

I think the reason he got so sad was not because he thought you are falling out of love, but because he misses you too and literally feels your pain, it can't be hard for him either. I am sure deep down he is happy you are practically asking him to refresh your memory soon, a month will go by soon if you go out and see new things, shouldn't be too hard in a new country. Best of luck~