Meeting your SOs friends... on cam O_o

[noodle]

So I saw my boyfriend via Skype earlier on and 3 of his friends were over at his dorm room, or should I say our friends?
One of them is the reason we actually got to know each other and are datin now (Brandon), his girlfriend and another of their friends I have met on cam once or twice before.

I have met some of his friends (the important ones) on cam before but this time, even if I basically knew the people, it still felt awkward. O_o
I have even talked to Brandon on cam before, a bunch of time, he's basically one of my best male friends, yet it was so awkward for me somehow.
I could barely get a word out of my mouth, I tried to talk and somehow get into their conversation but I just felt stupid doin it. O_o
Maybe it's cause I didnt know they were there and I was kinda surprised seein them there.
Right now my mind is so busy thinkin of it all, I actually kinda worry that once I get over there to visit him it'll be kinda awkward hangin out with all the people since they basically know each other for years and I'd feel like "the girlfriend from over the ocean".

So my question have you experienced anything like this before?
Have you met your SOs friends on cam/real life and if so how was it?

[MTK]

I have met my SO's mom on cam and it didn't feel awkard at all, i just tried to take it easy and not put a lot of pressure on the first meeting.
My SO met my mom and my sister on cam as well and it went super well.
I will introduce her to my two best friends soon and i am hoping that won't be awkward as i will do my best to make sure that both parties have something to talk about and doesn't feel left out or linger in silence.

[NaNi]

Have you met your SOs friends on cam/real life and if so how was it?
Yes, I did. In person. I met my SO's most important friends; and she has quite a few. I was kinda quiet most of time, but did talk when I was asked something or had something to say. If I would meet them again it would be totally different. I know them now. So I would talk more. I also met my SO's family. Her parents and her sisters. We saw them so often that I had no problems at all talking to them. I actually very much liked it.

[Caity]

I met my SOs family and his best friend on cam. It wasn't very awkward. His friend is very silly and extremely cheerful and a good laugh. I met them in person when i visited and we got on well then too. I was a bit quiet around his parents but i got on well with his friends. The only difficulty was the language barrier, as they speak dutch, and were nowhere near as good at english as my SO, and although i've been learning, they spoke too quickly for me to understand. I can only read so far XD

[noodle]

yea like my SO met my mum on cam as well kinda, my mum usually just says hi and askes him how he's doin and thats bout it then leaves us to ourselves ^^
and usually its not awkward at all, I talk to his friends as if I was there hangin with them, but today it was just weird and awkward I hope it wont be like that in real life o_o

[paulawriteslove]

I've never met my SO's friends through cam. The only person I ever saw on cam was him. But whenever I was on the phone with him, his friends would scream 'hi!' and stuff. It was kind of funny because Ryan would get frustrated at them. I met his friends when I was visiting him. It wasn't awkward at all. I just kind of clicked with all his friends and everyone got a long.
The best advice I can give to you is to just go with the flow

[milaya]

Well since my SO and I met, because I was staying at his parents' house (homestay) so I was bound to meet some people from his life.
Like his parents, sister, nephew, grandmother and etc, but actually only met one of his friends. And that time we weren't dating, so there wasn't much to think of it.

Actually met a lot more of his sister's friends. Seemed like all of her friends wanted to meet me (Even her friends from her maternity group - which resulted in a day with lots of Japanese babies.) The probably all wanted to see "the foreigner who speaks Japanese". (my SO is from the country side)

But haven't seen or talked to his family or friends since we started dating. Which I actually felt a bit bad about, because at first our relationship was kept secret. Felt like I was betraying his family, but now it's all out in the open, which makes me happy and I look forward to seeing them again, as his fiance instead.

I do know though, that he talks about me to his friends at work and shows pictures of me... which results in me saying: "You better say nice things about me!" But I don't mind the thought of meeting his friends later on. I actually look forward to it.

He has met most of my friends and family, but he can't understand them and they can't understand him. A bit awkward at times. But all my friends wants to "see Isa's Japanese boyfriend".

[XX, Lexi]

I haven't really met Luke's friend on webcam. We don't talk over webcam, but they know we're together and they're fine with us. They even wave hi to me if we're on webcam and he's at his friend's house.
Don't worry about feeling awkward at all. Just be relaxed and smile the best smile. Chances are, they'll like you straight away =]

[Lunar Snow]

So my question have you experienced anything like this before? I haven't met any of my current SO's friends via webcam. I imagine that could be pretty awkward, especially since working up to go on webcam with one's SO for the first time can make one pretty nervous.

Have you met your SOs friends on cam/real life and if so how was it? I have met some of his close friends in real-life (I know, these girls again! I'll try my best to sound okay about it). Through the way he had said or concealed things and what they had said on his Facebook, I had this jealousy or nervousness built up towards them and I was never given the opportunity to or encouraged to talk to them online before meeting them. In some ways, meeting all of them was actually good for me--I could experience them and how they and my SO interact in real life and not just what had been said, thought, or feared about them. For me, I needed something very concrete like that to settle some of the way I had been feeling. It's true, that with any of the meetings with his friends (and I really advocated for meeting them separately, rather than all at once or a party or something--that would have been overwhelming and not a good idea), I had this sense of being the odd one out and knowing him for less time than they did (I think that I would have had the feeling of odd one out, anyway, just being his girlfriend/ partner, but it was amplified by being his Canadian girlfriend, whom he met online). In one instance, I confirmed that I did not like his friend, because of her person and how she treated others and not just because I was jealous that she seemed to be after him (which, I feel was also confirmed, though I think I confirmed that he was not interested in that avenue with her)--this was good, too, because I could genuinely say to him that I thought she was treating him or someone else badly and not have him jump on me for making something up about a person I had never met. One girl was kind of hard to read, but she was okay--I was surprised to find that there was some jealousy directed from her my way, when she (from a distance) had appeared to be the most welcoming of our relationship. Lastly, I thought the meeting with his best friend was very successful and I actually had fun!

It will be awkward meeting anyone for the first time and I am sure you will feel that for the first little while, but I agree that just being yourself is great. Even if yourself, at that time, is feeling too shy to say much, you can use this as an opportunity to observe how your boyfriend interacts with important people in his life and also how he treats you around them--very important things to think about. When meeting everyone in-person for the first time, I would really advocate talking to your boyfriend before hand and suggesting meeting his friends either individually/ in couples (if they are dating someone seriously that he is also good friends with), before meeting lots of people in a large group (and a large group can even be 3 of his friends and the two of you). I have no doubts that they will like you, but having smaller, more intimate meeting (possibly for a shorter period of time) first gives you time to get to know people and have fun with them. Meeting everyone at a party, at first, for example, could make you feel just like his foreign girlfriend in tow, who only gets to say hi, while the others talk about the good ol' times. (P.S., this is tried and tested advice, since I was given similar advice from other LFAD members before I went to meet his friends).

[Zephii]

So my question have you experienced anything like this before?
Sure have I was skyping with Obi when a bunch of his friends decended on him one morning. I believe I was still in my jammies but they'd heard of me before, and I'd heard of them. I wasn't really in the converstaion though. They were letting me watch like a fly on the wall, learning more about Obi and how he is with other people. (Something very important imo).

Have you met your SOs friends on cam/real life and if so how was it?
I saw them on cam and spoke to one of them by mic before meeting in person, but it was a very brief awkward convo, and our other interaction was minimul. I was just the chick Obi had been obsessed with for years Later when I met them in real life they accepted me pretty quickly... once they got used to myu accent enough to understand what I was saying to them!
Now they are our mates, and they are great to have around, though it's rare I see them without Obi at this stage.

[Silviar]

That's pretty normal. It's hard to interject when you're on a camera and they're all in a room gabbing like turkeys (gobble gobble gobble, eh? ). Something to keep in mind is that we're taught that it's rude to interrupt in person conversations when we're 'on the phone', and I'm sure mentally there's a tiny place kicking around saying you're interrupting because well, you were taught that it's rude!

I wouldn't feel stupid, just enjoy that they liked you enough to hang out, so to speak, and just interject where you want to/feel ready. Remind yourself that they brought you on to be part of the conversation, not an observer. It'll get more normal as more of them occur.

[noodle]

I know, I dont like interuptin people especially on cam kinda >_> but yea they talked to me sorta kinda

[bigmac62]

For both of us, meeting our friends was pretty easy, seeing as how we have a (relatively) small circle of really good friends that would be excited to meet the girlfriend/boyfriend. However, for me with some of her friends (and vice versa), it was kind of awkward, because some of her friends are more of the WoW set, the artsy set, et cetera, and mainly I didn't know how to interact with them, because I'm not really a member of those groups.

Conversationally, my friends are the wild bunch...they party (a lot), they play sports, they're typical guys (and a couple girls). My girl is very shy, keeps to herself mostly, although she does do some partying. So, we had a little bit of a time trying to interact with the other's friends.

My advice...interact with the friends as much as you can. You may find that their lifestyle is actually pretty fun and you'll want to hang out with them more often. That makes you happy, your boyfriend happy, and both circles of friends happy.