He doesn't like to talk!?

[asha]

Hi! 2nd time posting

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6 week after meeting online two months ago (on a dating website). At first we emailed, texted then called and once we started skyping, we would talk for hours or just stare at each other in lulls of conversation. Well once we incorporated playing some games or watching some tv shows/movies...now this all he wants to do. I told him quite a few times a couple weeks ago about it and he said he understood but isn't a huge talker - he mostly likes to listen. And he doesn't like to be asked questions and whenever we have serious conversations, he doesn't like them, gets uncomfortable, as he is one of the most laid-back, low stress guys I have ever met. So I keep getting frustrated or crying (in frustration) why we aren't talking much and he is happy as a lamb when we play games or watch movies. And that's pretty much our skype dates - we text throughout the day but lately it's shorter and not as frequent. He says I make him happy....only when we were first talking and in October - he would compliment me and call me beautiful and baby...and now nothing. I want to get to know this guy more - his family, childhood, more dreams. We have core things in common - faith. hopes the future (family etc...) and he wants to move West so we will be closer together but maybe not for a few more months. He's a bit of a procastinator so goals/deadlines aren't huge. He takes it step by step. My main question is - how do we bridge this gap of communication - because while I may fill his tank of playing games or watching movies etc...my tank isn't getting filled and I've tried so many ways to explain it to him. Why the sudden change? Is it because I'm his girlfriend now? Plus making plans to visit each other (see boyfriend doesnt want me to visit post) He is super chill about just seeing where things go and not rushing it. I'm like - okay I know, let's visit, see if we connect, then go from there. I have no clue how to meet in the middle (haha literally maybe) with communication - does anyone have any advice? And believe me, all the suggestions from this website at top - he wasn't interested....sigh

Is it me - like Cher in Clueless - did my hair fall flat??? LOL

[mellif]

I suggest finding topics that really interest him, such as his hobbies or things that he has strong feelings/passion about. People often like to share what they know about. Ask him about his job, if he has one, or what kind of things he has expertise in. It might be boring for you at first, but it's a good way to get him talking and more comfortable with it.

You might also want to tell him (in serious conversations) that you wouldn't ever judge him. Sometimes people avoid serious talks because they're afraid that it'll make the other person like them less. If you make clear to him that you're there to listen to him, not provide unnecessary judgement/comments, and really genuinely care about what he feels about the world, then he might open up more. If you've already made that clear, then I'd give him time. He might be still evaluating whether or not he can fully trust you-- but this is normal, it's still early in your relationship!

[talim]

I agree with mellif - ask him about his hobbies, maybe, if there is something he's really good at, like computers, ask him for help with some problem, ask him to teach you something about what he's good at. Watch movies together and discuss them, or try reading some news together and share your opinions. But I don't think it's necessarily bad that you don't talk much now, there are always these periods in all relationships.