Communication help

[Chianna]

My girlfriend and I only text, we've been on FaceTime a few times and it has honestly been amazing and so much fun. I'm trying so hard to make this relationship work but she's refusing to FaceTime cause she's insecure and I really don't know what to do. We only text I want something more but it's so hard

[differentcountries]

What about Facetime make her insecure? Does she not like to be watched?

Have your considered Skype?

Also, you could call.

[Yaaamiii]

Have you expressed those needs to her? Why is she insecure? Its hard to suggest other alternatives if she isnt willing to do abything other than text. Maybe you can try working your way up? Like texing, then emailing...IMing through msn or aim (do people still use aim anymore? XD), etc

[Chianna]

Aren't Skype and FaceTime basically the same thing?! And it's cause of 'her face' as she says ...

[Chianna]

She's insecure about her face yet she tells me how she facetimes friends a lot yet she can't even FaceTime me. I love her a lot but I don't know how long I can do this

[differentcountries]

One can be insecure facing a boyfriend in ways one is not with friends, so it is not really comparable.

Yes Skype and Facetime are similar, but I find Skype a little more flexible. I sometimes can get a little shy on camera (like I can not sing to my bf in realtime, and sometimes I get to shy to talk, so I just write), it might help to instead make a video and send it instead (mail or Skype). These are just suggestions. Tell her that you would love to watch her and try to encourage her by letting her know that you long for her.

[redapple]

Adding to the suggestions above you just need to reassure her that you think she's beautiful and that you'd love to be able to see her face more. Tell her if she's uncomfortable even a face to face goodbye would be great and tell her to minimise herself or cover her face with a post it note. Little and often an build it up with plenty of reassurance!

[Yaaamiii]

Adding to the suggestions above you just need to reassure her that you think she's beautiful and that you'd love to be able to see her face more. Tell her if she's uncomfortable even a face to face goodbye would be great and tell her to minimise herself or cover her face with a post it note. Little and often an build it up with plenty of reassurance!

Agreed. Have you guys met in person or did you meet online? Because if the latter is the case, she might be afraid of showing herself too much to someone she doesn't really know in person? You know? Or if not, do what redapple said. Reassure her that you think she's beautiful. I understand what you mean, I wouldn't be able to just text, either.

[Fretboard_Magic]

Well, I think a little differently here. One can reassure another all one wants, and not really get too far with that approach if there isn't trust between the two parties. I say build and nurture trust first and foremost.

OP, you may need to be patient about this one. If camming is your focus, then I would advise you against proceeding any further. I know I know, camming is fun and all. But trust needs to go both ways. Giving her reassurance is good. That's fine. BUT, don't do that for the sole purpose of getting her on cam. Solid trust must be built ad nurtured between you two. Reassurance is only one way of making another person feel better about something. But what you need to do is to communicate WELL. You two must bond and develop a deep emotional connection. It takes a lot of work, only, you probably won't be perceiving that as "work" when it's with a right partner. Reason: the high compatibility level between the two of you may help you communicate in a natural and unforced manner, which may promote development and maintenance of a solid bond and trust between the two parties.

All the best.

[Yaaamiii]

Well, I think a little differently here. One can reassure another all one wants, and not really get too far with that approach if there isn't trust between the two parties. I say build and nurture trust first and foremost.

OP, you may need to be patient about this one. If camming is your focus, then I would advise you against proceeding any further. I know I know, camming is fun and all. But trust needs to go both ways. Giving her reassurance is good. That's fine. BUT, don't do that for the sole purpose of getting her on cam. Solid trust must be built ad nurtured between you two. Reassurance is only one way of making another person feel better about something. But what you need to do is to communicate WELL. You two must bond and develop a deep emotional connection. It takes a lot of work, only, you probably won't be perceiving that as "work" when it's with a right partner. Reason: the high compatibility level between the two of you may help you communicate in a natural and unforced manner, which may promote development and maintenance of a solid bond and trust between the two parties.

All the best.

I totally agree! Sorry if my previous posts sounded like I don't agree with this. I'm not good with putting my thoughts into words sometimes lol. My SO reassures me of things all the time, and at first it didn't do much for me. But as our relationship grew, our trust deepened and I began to feel more comfortable around him . I was thinking maybe she doesn't know you well enough if you guys met online and needs more time to grow into it. That's why I suggested taking things more slowly. But I agree with Fretboard, as your trust in each other grows, her comfort talking to you and being on cam will grow as well.

[silvermoonfairy3]

Well, I think a little differently here. One can reassure another all one wants, and not really get too far with that approach if there isn't trust between the two parties. I say build and nurture trust first and foremost.

OP, you may need to be patient about this one. If camming is your focus, then I would advise you against proceeding any further. I know I know, camming is fun and all. But trust needs to go both ways. Giving her reassurance is good. That's fine. BUT, don't do that for the sole purpose of getting her on cam. Solid trust must be built ad nurtured between you two. Reassurance is only one way of making another person feel better about something. But what you need to do is to communicate WELL. You two must bond and develop a deep emotional connection. It takes a lot of work, only, you probably won't be perceiving that as "work" when it's with a right partner. Reason: the high compatibility level between the two of you may help you communicate in a natural and unforced manner, which may promote development and maintenance of a solid bond and trust between the two parties.

All the best.

Definitely agree.
When my SO and I started chatting, I was skittish about Skype, and he was like if you're not comfortable with that, let's just take it off the table, I don't want you doing anything you're not comfortable with.
Then I was like well, maybe we could just do voice skype, not video.. we did that for a bit, and then I was comfortable doing video, and now I can't believe there was ever a time I didn't want to video skype him.

But, *he* didn't push it. He let me know he loved talking to me however I was comfortable, and he let me bring it up on my terms. Now it's a non-issue and either one of us can suggest video skype and be fine with it.

[her]

Reassure her, hear her thoughts, and reciprocate by telling yours. It's all about communication, talking, and sharing each other's feelings.

Phoning could be another option?