I'm sort of in a complicated situation with TWO LDR's... okay so to make this as short as I can: Guy 1 I met over a year ago, online, we never made anything "official", we've just been really good friends that are flirty and we do say I love you. Guy 2 I met earlier in the beginning of this year, him and I have become pretty serious and also say I love you. Both guys know about each other and know I have feelings for both. Guy 1 tells me I should try to he happy with guy 2 and see if things work out until we know if we can really be together. Guy 1 is also much closer and more realistic for meeting/being together. I don't know what to do! Should I choose one of them and leave the other? Do I just pick out of a hat? What would you do in my situation?
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Keep talking to both but don't get seriously involved with either. If you had truly strong feelings for one, I doubt this would even be an issue. So I personally would just keep them both as friends.
Met online: 1/30/11
Met in person: 5/30/12
Second visit: 9/12/12
Closed the distance: 1/26/13!!! -
As the old saying goes: If you can't chose one don't chose any of them.Made it official: 12-01-10
First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
Closed the distance: 07-31-13Comment
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True.Originally posted by Dezface View Post
If you truly were in love with one of them, I don't think you would need to think this hard.Comment
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This is what I was going to say. If you really have to "choose" then maybe you shouldn't choose at all.Originally posted by milaya View Post
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Thanks everyone. I've always had stronger feelings for guy 2 but I think my fear of losing guy 1 is what's keeping me from letting him go. Him and I have talked and did decide that no matter what we'd still remain friends, which I think will hopefully allow me to really focus on guy 2 now.Comment
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Yeah, I agree with Dez. If one of them is right for you, it should feel like it. Good luck!Comment
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I'm in a situation with two people as well and I've done some soul searching and I"m kinda leaning toward that Johnny Depp quote myself.
“if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.”Comment
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Originally posted by Tommy C View Post
I just need to say I FUCKING HATE THIS QUOTE. It is possible to love more than one person at a time. People are different, you can love different things about different people. Like I could love guy A because he's funny, caring and dependable, but I could love guy B because he's smart, ambitious and confident. Doesn't make the love I feel for A any less valid.
OP, you need to do some serious thinking. You cannot go back an forth between the two of them. That's just cruel."We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love " ~ Theodore Seuss Geisel.Comment
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That is actually how I came to be with my man now.Originally posted by Tommy C View Post
I think you know the answer yourself and if Guy 1 tells you he will be friends with you no matter what, then go for Guy 2 and give it a try. If it works out - great! If it doesn't work out - still not bad as you have Guy 1!
Relationship began: 05/22/2012
First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
Married: 1/24/2015
Became Resident: 9/14/2015Comment
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I totally get what you mean, I just think of it a little differently.. I don't think of it as loving attributes that can be listed out. (Like smart, caring, etc.) I think of it as that X factor. A guy being a sum of good characteristics that a person wants/loves doesn't automatically mean they love *that person* in that way, even if they might want to or love some parts of them. I always kinda thought that was more what it meant.. that if that X factor making it love/the guy that's right for you, the bond is really unshakeable, and a second guy wouldn't necessarily make you question the first unless there was something missing on some level.Originally posted by Rugger View Post
But completely agree that OP probably should make a decision to be fair to herself AND the guys.Comment
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I agree completely, love is not restricted to one person at a time.Originally posted by Rugger View Post
OP, go for your gut and do what you think is the most correct thing to do. You know your situation better than all of us.Comment
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Or you could be polyamorous with both. People do that and there's nothing wrong with that, if you all agree.
When we love, it isn't because the person's perfect, it's because we learn to see an imperfect person perfectly.
True love does not worry about the distance between, for the heart and soul travels through one's words
When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far, and no one can ever tear them apart.
1 universe, 9 planets, 7 continents, 194 countries, 50 states and 10 provinces...and I had the privilege to meet you.Comment
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