break up disease?

[silvermoonfairy3]

I don't know if I'd describe it that way to be honest. I think it often just happens to have run its course. People change, their goals change and they often grow in different direction than their partners. And a lot of these changes happen after you finish school and have to face adult life. Not everything is meant to last forever, which doesn't mean it wasn't what you really wanted at the time. Just at some point you or your partner changed. But of course, most of the time you only realise it in hindsight.

Totally agree.

Not trying to sound like I'm coming from some "more enlightened" place or something, just that I'm turning 30 in a couple weeks and I've been thinking about how things have changed, how I've changed, etc.

I never thought I had to "find myself" or that I was particularly confused about what I wanted or anything..I always thought I was pretty assertive about going after my goals, and good about standing up for myself if necessary, etc... but looking back at it.. there's so many ways I'm more certain of myself now. Things I will and won't accept in relationships, ways I will and won't tolerate being treated at work/by friends/whatever.

There's just.. a lot of subtle growing and changing and coming into yourself that happens in the mid 20s. I dunno. It's kinda hard to describe.

But I also totally agree that it doesn't mean that what I wanted and did in my early and mid-20s wasn't good, or wasn't the right thing for that time, or what I wanted to do. It was what I wanted to do and what I thought was right at the time. But in retrospect, it's easy to see what were flaws due to age or inexperience or both.

[Secrecy]

I was almost added to the list of break-ups here: was absolutely terrifying. Things were sorted out thankfully, and now I am going to make it work. Pretty much determined.