Having difficulties.

[tjkex]

I know it's been quite a while since I've last posted on this website, and I've forgotten how helpful it really is. Last time I was really active, was in May when my SO and I were seeing each other for the second time. We've gotten to the third meeting in August, and he non-officially as popped the question. He's gotten me a beautiful Claddagh ring and I cannot wait for the day where he puts it on my finger. The plan is to move down after we both get our taxes back just for some extra money. We discussed this in September-ish.

Lately though I've just become more and more depressed and sad. I was looking forward to moving, excited to start my new life with this man.. And now I'm almost petrified. I love him so much, and I love Virginia, his family, etc. Everything is wonderful down there and any normal person would be excited; but then I think about all my friends that I'm leaving, best friends that I've made plans with and now I know they won't be happened due to this move. My family; I'll miss my sisters 16th birthday, her getting her first car, etc. I know these things probably seem petty and sentimental, but I love my family and friends more than anything in this world and I think it's finally hitting me that I'm leaving them all for this man. It's a new life and a new start, but without any of them. It scares me.

I'd also like to note that when I'm hurting inside, getting depressed, etc.. I lash out. I'm ornery and cranky, and to put it bluntly I'm a bitch; and I'm taking it all out on my SO. Even my SO has noticed my behavior and doesn't know what to do, really. He asks what's wrong and I say nothing. Or lately it seems he's tired of me being a bitch so he resorts to video games and then I become even more cranky and annoyed. He even sent me flowers the other day with a beautiful note and a vase that he had customized with his favorite picture of us and my favorite flowers. I feel terrible, and so I get more sad and I just lash out more because I'm too dumb to 'get over it.'

Has anyone else experienced this? I really hope I'm not the only one. :c

[temporaryuser]

have you told him what you just wrote? being bitchy and saying nothing is wrong is only going to hurt your relationshipp. If you truly love him, you would confide these things in him. Caqn he fix it? No, but he can be more sympathetic to the moods knowing what is troubling you.
I think most people get scared and worry about what they will miss when they move away from home. that is normal. You arent moving to another country. Youre, what, an 11 hour drive? Youre friends and family can visit you, and vice versa.
Biggest thing here is communication!

[conejita_hada]

I agree with subeasley, tell him what you wrote about how when you're sad/worried/depressed your reaction is to lash out. This way, he can understand he isn't doing something wrong necessarily and will hopefully provide the opportunity for him to help you with this next stage. Moving away from family and friends is difficult, you'll need support and he should be the greatest support you'll be able to lean on. Communicate and let him know your fears, they're understandable and talking them out can help alleviate some of the stress. Also, remember that just because you plan to move doesn't mean its a one-way ticket and that you'll never see your family and friends again. There are always new opportunities and possibilities on the horizon, take the future as it comes and leave the possibilities open. You aren't limiting your life just to Virgina but allowing for a new chapter of your life to start.

[LadyDaemon]

I agree with the two above me. As someone who closed the distance I can tell you from personal experience that it's never easy to leave family and friends your close to. I had an extremely hard time before I left with the thought of leaving my mom. I have manic depression and she is the only one who knows how to really deal with me when I get depressed or have my mood swings,so the thought that I couldn't just walk down the hallway anymore and have her hug me and let me cry on her shoulder was a big adjustment for me. The thought of also leaving my brothers was hard because both of them are younger then me,one significantly more so then the other. The thought that I was going to my youngest brother start his first year in school or grow up into his teens or the other one go to college,find a girlfriend and move out lol. It also sucked that I wasn't going to live close to my best friend anymore. Anyway,it was very hard for me to leave too. But,it's apart of life to grow up and leave the house. Like conejita above me said,you're not leaving them forever,just for a moment until you can see them again. I also agree with the two above me about the fact that you should talk to your SO about how this effecting you so that he can maybe better help you and understand why you're feeling that way so it doesn't seem like you're blaming him for everything. I hope it gets better for you.

[tjkex]

Thanks. All of your advice has really helped me a lot, and I'll talk to him. I talked to my mom about it and I feel better already; next step is to talk to him.