I'm sorry about your situation, but you do not deserve this abuse.
There are a lot of good people here, giving you a lot of brilliant advice. Please think carefully about your situation.
I'd say you need to leave her too. Some people don't reflect on what they have done or what they have had until it's gone. It will be difficult, but if you are wanting to really help this girl, maybe you need to do this. Giving her the reason to act this way is just 'enabling' her. I mean, everyone gets mad at their other half at some point, but it should never get that bad. I understand she has had a bad past, but as others above me have said, it doesn't give her the right to act abusively towards someone who is meant to means so much to her.
If you must stay with her, for whatever reason, I think you're doing the right thing by not speaking to her when she gets mad, but you NEED to stay strong. If you don't, as you've seen yourself, it just makes things worse. Her not getting professional help.. it'll be difficult for her to change without this stranger making her realise what she is doing and how she is acting is wrong. I strongly believe that some people don't realise certain aspects of themselves without someone from the outside saying there is something wrong. She is obviously not taking advice from those on the inside (you), and she is just abusing how nice you are to her.
Just please be careful, and think about yourself in this. It shouldn't be about what she can handle, but what YOU can handle. You're not a professional psychologist, you're her partner. There is a very big difference.
Best of luck to you
There are a lot of good people here, giving you a lot of brilliant advice. Please think carefully about your situation.
I'd say you need to leave her too. Some people don't reflect on what they have done or what they have had until it's gone. It will be difficult, but if you are wanting to really help this girl, maybe you need to do this. Giving her the reason to act this way is just 'enabling' her. I mean, everyone gets mad at their other half at some point, but it should never get that bad. I understand she has had a bad past, but as others above me have said, it doesn't give her the right to act abusively towards someone who is meant to means so much to her.
If you must stay with her, for whatever reason, I think you're doing the right thing by not speaking to her when she gets mad, but you NEED to stay strong. If you don't, as you've seen yourself, it just makes things worse. Her not getting professional help.. it'll be difficult for her to change without this stranger making her realise what she is doing and how she is acting is wrong. I strongly believe that some people don't realise certain aspects of themselves without someone from the outside saying there is something wrong. She is obviously not taking advice from those on the inside (you), and she is just abusing how nice you are to her.
Just please be careful, and think about yourself in this. It shouldn't be about what she can handle, but what YOU can handle. You're not a professional psychologist, you're her partner. There is a very big difference.
Best of luck to you
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