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Does he not care about what I say?

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    #1

    Does he not care about what I say?

    I'm probably just overreacting but it always seems like when we're on the phone, he responds to the things I say with "Mhmm" "Yeah" "Yup", but when he talks about things I'm very engaging in the conversation. Is it because he's just not very talkative? Usually when he talks he can ramble on forever, and I'm engaged in the conversation but I don't feel like he's engaged or listening when I talk. I don't want to upset him by asking him if he's listening to me or if he even cares
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    #2
    I'm not sure anyone can answer that but him. Everyone has different reasons for doing different things. He could be doing that because he's shy or doesn't know about the topic. Or he could be doing it because he isn't interested in the topic or is watching a football game. Maybe throw a completely off the wall comment in mid conversation and see if he just keeps going "mhmm, yeah" or if he actually hears you. :P I would say you can go with your gut too. Does he sound like hes disinterested? Then he probably is.

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      #3
      I agree with Tommy C. We can't really answer that question for you. Has it always been like this for you two? Or is it just recently that he seems to give these automatic responses? And, is it ALL the time, or just sometimes? There's a lot of different factors.

      My boyfriend has days where it seems that all he gives is "automatic" responses, however this is only over text because he's just busy at school and has other things on his mind.

      If you want to bring it up with him, which I recommend you should, use "I feel" statements rather than accusing statements. Good luck
      started dating: 12/08/12
      "i love you": 04/12/13
      el paso: 07/24/13 - 08/05/13
      montreal: 12/13/13 - 01/03/14
      el paso: 01/05/14 - 01/19/14
      montreal: 05/30/14 - 07/27/14
      el paso: 07/27/14 - 08/18/14
      el paso: 12/27/14 - 01/16/15
      el paso: 06/02/15 - 08/17/15
      san antonio: 02/04/16 - 02/08/16
      san antonio/el paso: 06/03/16 - 06/21/16

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        #4
        It hasn't always been like this, just sort of starting now. It's usually when we're on the phone and not busy. It's just starting to worry me a little now.

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          #5
          Sometimes my man does that too, not because he's not interested, but because he's actively listening and reassuring that he's still there. Maybe that's what he's doing?

          Relationship began: 05/22/2012
          First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
          Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
          Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
          Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
          Married: 1/24/2015
          Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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            #6
            That's very possible that it could just be that. I'm probably just overreacting since our communication is usually pretty good.

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              #7
              My SO does that sometimes. We've dated long enough for me to know when he isn't listening I always catch him! I would just politely ask your SO .

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                #8
                It's the other way around with my SO and I. He can talk...a lot! He talks so much that he doesn't give me a chance to put my two cents in and I normally just say yea or mhhm just to let him know I'm still on the line lol.

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                  #9
                  You can tell him; "Honey, I need for you to be more responsive when I am talking to you. When you just say Mmm I become unsure if you really get what I am saying. Sometimes I need an active response, like you asking me questions about what I meant or what happened after. If you have something on your mind, or are too tired to be very responsive, it is better to be honest and tell me. I need so much to connect with you. Can you help me do that?"
                  I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                  - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                  "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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                    #10
                    I use "mmhmm" and "yeah" and "I see" and stuff when my partner is telling a story or talking about something that is long and involved, but doesn't really require my interaction. It's just to show I'm still on the line/still here. He does it to me, too, when I go off on those long stories.

                    And once in awhile it's probably because we're doing something else or distracted, lol. But as long as he listens to the "important" stuff I wouldn't be too worried if ocassionally he's a touch distracted.

                    Does he remember stuff you tell him? Sometimes I think my partner isn't really listening to little stuff, but he references it down the road, or whatever, I realize he did listen. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

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                      #11
                      Thanks so much! Yeah, he usually remembers things I have mentioned

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