why aren't i excited...?

[lilcupcake]

more so, why am i utterly TERRIFIED? i know why. because im fat.

My SO suddenly popped it on me that his family might be taking a trip down south for christmas. yup, we might meet. soon. am i happy? no. I recently gained a whopping 20 pounds because i was under a lot of stress. well, in our situation thats easy to hide. and i was SUPPOSED to have MONTHS to get the weight off! being forced to at this point, i finally told him how i felt about my weight and that i was really uncomfortable with him seeing me like this...

Of course, "baby, i dont care. i just want to see you." blah blah blah. I can't help it though. i've always been self conscious about it, and now its worse. I was always that awkward chubby girl in gym class V_V i've been teased about it plenty of times to know it's not okay.

I guess the point of this is sort of just to ramble because this is seriously stressful to me and he wont listen. and also, any one have any good ab exercise circuits? or dieting tips? (ps, im hypoglycemic. forever destined to be chubs.)

[angelvee]

My boyfriend had the same problem, as he did not want me to see him because he had let his weight go. I personally do not care, and I'm sure if your SO really cares about you, he won't care what you look like either. My boyfriend not wanting me to see him actually hurt me, even though I understand his concerns.

As someone who had been in the same situation, as I have gained weight in the past, lost it, and now mentor my boyfriend, my advice to you is to basically watch what you eat and exercise more. For me, counting calories and cutting junk food worked well. Try to find healthy, low calorie snacks that fill you up, like salad, raw vegetables, or healthy cereal.

[Sarah96]

I know EXACTLY how you feel. Well, except for the fact that I'm not seeing my boyfriend anytime soon, at least I don't think I am. Anyway, I've also always been the chubby awkward girl in gym class. It's a part of me I've always been trying to love, but that just hasn't happened. My boyfriend always says he "loves me from head to toe no matter what", but I still always find myself being awkward and shy when I send him pics to show him what I'm wearing for the day. He always says it's ridiculous that I would think that he wouldn't love me because of the way I look, but I still always have that fear that he won't be attracted to me and would prefer the very thin, fit girl.

I guess I'm glad to know that I'm not alone on this. Really hope everything works out for you and good luck! Either way, you're still beautiful!

[Deleted]

I know EXACTLY how you feel. Well, except for the fact that I'm not seeing my boyfriend anytime soon, at least I don't think I am. Anyway, I've also always been the chubby awkward girl in gym class. It's a part of me I've always been trying to love, but that just hasn't happened. My boyfriend always says he "loves me from head to toe no matter what", but I still always find myself being awkward and shy when I send him pics to show him what I'm wearing for the day. He always says it's ridiculous that I would think that he wouldn't love me because of the way I look, but I still always have that fear that he won't be attracted to me and would prefer the very thin, fit girl.

I guess I'm glad to know that I'm not alone on this. Really hope everything works out for you and good luck! Either way, you're still beautiful!

Amen, sistah!

I think a lot of beauty is confidence. I wouldn't quite say 'if you've got it, flaunt it,' but I think it's mostly about the way you carry yourself. If I'm correct, it's been a little while since you and your SO have last seen each other, so he probably won't notice that you've gained some weight. And if it makes you feel better, you can wear form-flattering clothes. Don't hesitate to hit me up for fashion tips.

[sarahjane1992]

I know how you feel. I've never been very secure about myself in terms of weight. I'll just say it, I love food! LOL it's not an uncommon deal.
I lost a good amount of weight last year and have gained some back. It's frustrating because I was looking good and was healthier too.
My SO and I are both looking to get back in shape. It'll be a good thing for us to do together. But we don't love each other any less because we're not super fit.
Your SO loves you how you are. Believe me, the first time you meet your SO is incredible. When I met mine it was the happiest of my life.
Enjoy it and get back in shape gradually. Good luck! I hope your visit works out. It'll be a day you'll never forget.

[Zephii]

I hear you. I know how it ruins your confidence, and that blows because the most attractive this is confidence.

At the same time, no one should have to diet at Christmas. There's probably even a law against it. My advice would be to look for clothes that better flatter your body shape, and go with that. How you dress up what you've got seriously makes the world of difference.

As for exercise, anything that is fun you're more likely to stick with, so aim for that. Zumba is pretty awesome, for example. I'm very unco, and I struggle with it, but you can get beginner classes that aren't as foot-work heavy. Pilates are great for your core, but of course you'll need quite a lot of cardio with it to get to the point where you'll visibly see the results. There are two types of fat on a person's belly, which make it ridiculously hard to shift.

For your diet, ignore those crazy arse fads, because most of them are pretty unhealthy but most of all because you're not going to stick with it if it makes you miserable. Just stop eating when you're full/don't eat unless you're actually hungry and get more exercise. You'll get there. In the mean time, he'll love you anyway

[ethelynn]

I was in a similar situation. I wasn't supposed to meet my SO for months because it just wasn't possible, but when it turned out that it will have to be pushed even more forward, then we decided to do it then when i could get at least a week off school. Which was less than a month away from the moment we decided. I haven't always been chubby, just until certain hard times hit me and now I keep struggling. i was worried of what he'd think of me, but.. I was also excited to see him and actually be with him. I told him about my worries and he kept saying otherwise and when we met, he kept saying it. Not that I stopped thinking about it, but kept telling myself that I just had to meet the man I love and some weight wasn't going to stop me. If he really cares for you, he won't care about extra weight! My SO said that he'd care about it only if it was enough to be a danger to my health and then also only because of my own health.

Just trust him and your love!

[rufuz]

I can definitely understand your fears. When I finished my school 3 years ago I lost around 10 kilos although I haven't even been overweight before... I was just on the edge of it. When I started to work a few months after that I slowly gained the 10 kilos again And they are still on my hips... I'm really trying to get them off again, but it seems to be impossible. It doesn't really have any consequence for my relationship with my SO because he got to know me like this.
When I told him about feeling uncomfortable with my weight a little he just told me he doesn't care about my weight, he loves me anyway... but if I seriously want to lose the weight again he said he's going to support me with this.

I think how other people see you depends a lot on how you present yourself. If you show others that you're uncomfortable with yourself they will see you nearly the same way. But if you show them that you have a lot of self confidence then they will like your charisma more. I have always been the shy girl not being brave enough to talk to strangers or anything like that. I hated speaking in front of other people a lot. But when I started my job and also started a side job as dance teacher everything changed. Being in front of my dance students who admired my way to dance made me a lot more confident. And also the fact that in my normal job I had to call companies and everything gave me a lot of experience. I was really nervous in the beginning when I had to call someone. I think you have to forget your worries and just do it!

So that's my advice for you... stop thinking that much! Just try to accept who you are at the moment... I'm pretty sure your SO is going to love you no matter what you look like. And as the others before said I would also suggest to wear clothes which are form flattering. That's what I'm trying to do as well

[charly]

I am hypoglycemic too!
I'm not sure I have a lot to add, more than that you look very pretty on your picture, and I think you need to believe your boyfriend when he says he won't mind at all. Sure you have good enough taste to not pick someone that shallow right?

Anyways, for the excercise part (I guess since you are hypoglymic you aren't eating any sugar allready, and watch your food): I recently started polefitness because I started to feel bad about my weight (since I have to eat enormous amounts of food to get through the day on my own): absolutely amazing. It gives you strength, gives you enourmous amounts of confidence, and is actually a LOT of fun to do (plus: super effective in very short time). (Especially since it's all about fitness, not about high heels and sexyness, in fact, you wear regular gym shoes) Ofcourse I don't know if you could ever see yourself doing such thing, but pick at least something you love, instead of something you tell yourself you HAVE to.

I hope you have a very very nice visit that is all about having fun being together instead of you worrying too much

[SJ22]

Well I think you are pretty

[lilcupcake]

Thanks guys. I already do eat as healthy as possible, and i have been working out everyday. I talked to him last night about it, and he said he noticed all along even with my efforts to hide it. he knew i was under stress and he didnt care about the weight. He's supportive in my efforts to drop it, and makes me feel better when i cry about it lol. I will look into that polefitness, i prefer circuit workouts though. I am close to my first 10 pound mini goal, though!

[Yaaamiii]

Blah I feel ya. My SO and I are around the same weight and size (he's a small guy :P). I won't let him pick me up because I think I'm too heavy. Even though I know he has much more strength than I do and could easily pick me up. I personally just lack the confidence lol.

I bought myself a heart rate monitor I got on sale at Target that much more acurately counts my calories burned based on my heart rate. I jog and bike mostly, but I've done Zumba in the past and it's a lot of fun . I also tried Insanity. It's really hard and you'll be sore for like two weeks straight but if you stick to it, it'll show . Just do what you think it's fun, ignore crazy diets since they don't work, and drink water. I mean only drink water.

[Ejoriah]

I put on 20 lbs over the summer when I lived with my SO. I haven't been dieting per say but I just stick to portion sizes and stop eating if I'm hungry. Emotional eating is a killer. Now I've pretty much lost the 20 lbs but it's the start of Christmas season and I hope I won't let myself go.

Only drinking water is really good, too! And it saves so much on money.

[differentcountries]

Take care of your health.otherwise don't think about it. He will be happy to see you, and happier if you don't fuzz about your looks.

[itsjen516]

He loves you for you and not yoir weight
When you meet him both of you will be having such a good time that the weight won't even matter
If you want to lose weigh work on it but don't stress
Work on it how you want to
Trust me I feel the same. I have also put on some weight and it hurts