Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Difficult days.. i need to put it down to words

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    Difficult days.. i need to put it down to words

    That's probably a very common topic for us LDRers, but I d really appreciate reading your ideas and opinions.

    It's 6 months my bf and me are a couple. We met just twice, the last time was in august. He was meant to come here 2 weeks ago, but he wasnt able to cos of his work. So now it's 4 months we're apart, but they'll become 6 till we can meet (hopefully) again. I admit i feel really bad 'complaining' about it cos i know many people on here meet even more rarely :/

    Plus, it's an extremely difficult moment of my life cos my parents are divorcing and it's causing several problems.

    Anyway, i'm gonna keep it short. all these things make me feel really down lately. the worst thing is when i feel that way, i start thinking horrible things even if i actually have no reason to. my bf surely isnt the most romantic man on earth, but i could trust him with my life. still, when im down, i get terrified he ll get tired of me cos of this distance. i get scared our next meeting will never come. and i feel guilty for thinking all these things, cos im aware i have no real reasons to.

    i talked about it with him in the past, and he reassured me a lot. i dont wanna bring the topic up again though, cos as i said he is VERY busy with work in this time of the year and he gets home exhausted, the last thing i want is giving him other things to think about.

    Anyone out there has any advice about how to get through this bad moment?
    i do keep myself busy already, i have loads of things to study... but we all know sometimes we just cant control our mind :/
    Tags: None
    #2
    I´m really sorry for the troubles you are going through with your parents and everything. However, I can assure you, I´m having these feelings you describe very often. Like "he is gonna leave me, because he is waiting too long to me to finish my stupid school" and "I´m the worst person in the entire world for putting him into all my mess" etc. However, you must always keep in mind, you are two adult fully competent people and you are BOTH in the relationship because you want to. Noone force you, neither your SO to be in the relationship. As for getting through bad moments, there is probably no big help - as you say, keeping yourself busy is very good; maybe some good music, movie or walk on the fresh air .... And loads of chocolate Good luck and if you feel like chating, feel free to PM me

    Comment

      #3
      It is hard sometimes... The mind just spins out of control. Sometimes oneself and SO stress out at very oposite times, making it hard to understand each other.

      Am not sure if I have any exellent advice (Am freaking out myself a bit today, haha), but these things pass. They change. Like you say, they are affected by other stuff in life happening, making it difficult to know if it is just "pure" relationship stuff going on. I am sorry for your parents' divorce. Is there anyone you can talk to about that?

      Sometimes work is just top priority. Does he work on the weekends, too? Is there any time you can look forward to, when he will be done? Is there something you can ask him to, something small, that you would appreciate?
      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

      Comment

        #4
        Thank you for the replies, first of all.

        @ Jana: thank you, ill probably write you one of the next days. i really appreciate it

        @ different countries: i do have people to talk to about my parents, but im in the phase where im sick and tired of talkin about it. im very disappointed by my father and the less i talk about/see him the better i feel. the bad thing though is i feel he caused many of my insecurities, especially relating to men. thats why i think it kinda affects my feelings and my 'view' on my relationship with my bf.

        as regards work, it's a bit complex to explain. during winter months its crazy, he works many hours and often on the weekends too, while in warmer months things are very different. thats why (this is our first winter as a couple) its so difficult.

        i would like to videochat with him on skype, but apart from the fact he really doesnt have time, he isnt a very technological person and his computer has broken, so there are a bunch of unlucky coincidences making it worse.

        Comment

          #5
          There could be things you could to to deal with the divorce besides talking. Sometimes doing something physical helps, like sports, being in nature, meditation etc.

          Ah, it is kind of the opposite of me and my SO; he has less work to do in winter and in summer he works a lot even during the weekends. Even so, it is possable to adjust and have at least a little time together every day (or at least several times a week).

          Does your SO have/could get at smart phone where he could download Skype?
          I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
          - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



          "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

          Comment

            #6
            Be Strong And Positive

            I am very sorry that you are going through a troublesome situation with your family. My parents are not together and my family are very ill, so I am the main caregiver to my own family at this current time and it is hard to go through this as a young adult, but you can come resilient from these situations. I will say just have patience and take it easy, one step at a time. There is no need to rush, life is difficult, but you are one beautiful young woman that has a life ahead of her and do not let anything it interfere with your academia nor your relationship DO your absolute best. You are much better than that. If you ever need any positivity and reassure, I am sure gladly give it to you because I have faith in you!

            Comment

              #7
              yeah absolutely, but ive torn my knee last week so also sports are out of the way. its really not my lucky month ahah

              well, we do stay in touch during the day (not phone obsessed, it depends on the free time we have). he should buy a new phone some time soon, cos the one he has now starts being unreliable so once again, we ll see

              Comment

                #8
                Thank you too LisaMarie! I'm sorry to read about your family problems, good luck with that to you too and thanks for the support

                Comment

                Previous template Next
                Working...
                X