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    #16
    There always could be "someone better" out there, no matter how many or how few people you've been with, if you're looking for an excuse. Considering however that she hasn't dated anyone else, I can understand her possible doubts. Even though I don't believe you have to date a bunch of people to find "the right one", I do think that dating doesn't just teach you about other people, it teaches you a heck of a lot about yourself. Maybe that's what she's going through right now. Perhaps it's more of a sense that she doesn't know who she is as an individual, hasn't quite discovered where her personal life is headed, or doesn't know if she can trust her own judgment based on limited experience (I went through that myself) rather than the actual relationship with you.
    I would agree with the others in the idea of letting her go through this and simply supporting her right now. That may be all she needs and may never date anyone else. If she does actually want to explore other relationships, let her and just be there for her. You don't have to like it, but her knowing that you trust her and are willing to go outside of what your heart tells you for her will make the relationship a lot stronger in the long run. I wouldn't go into any kind of disaster-type thinking right now. There's that saying "If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back, they were never really yours to begin with."

    P.S. pytsip, I also thought of Boy Meets World. Excellent show.

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      #17
      I had those thoughts about a year, a year and a half ago - I told Andy he should date girls from his area just to make sure I'm the one he wants because this LDR is going to be a long, winding road and if there's a chance he'd be just as happy with someone who's not across the ocean then I would let him go and let him be happy with that someone.

      Obviously he refused (thank god )

      It wouldn't cross my mind to suggest that again now because I'm wayyyyyy past that point and just the thought of someone else kissing him would drive me mad, I would hunt that woman down and destroy her

      Not really but you all know what I mean lol.


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        #18
        Ultimately it is up to her but it may be a good idea to have a frank talk with her. First make sure she understands how you feel; this does not mean she has to agree.

        This is where I will talk about some of my ideas. First of all, to me my relationship not about finding 'the one' but finding a person I love, respect and can see myself with. If those things are there, looking at options outside of the relationship is only hurtful to the relationship. I also believe that it is far from worth it to abandon a relationship that is going well because there 'may be' someone better out there. Unless there are problems in the relationship, it should not be abandon. Now, these are only my views. You may find you feel very much the same way and maybe it will help you more clearly express how you feel.

        After this lengthy explanation, my first piece of advice is clearly explain how you feel. Please avoid blaming or pointing out things, just explain how you feel. Secondly, understand how she feels and why that is. Though, ultimately it is her choice, all you can do is show her that you are willing to work with her and communicate.

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