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Depressed and Alone

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    #1

    Depressed and Alone

    So I moved away from my girlfriend almost 7 months ago for a job. I had been unemployed for 5 months and couldn't find a job in Denver where we lived. I found a job in Dallas, but she couldn't move with me at the time.

    2 weeks after I moved we took an amazing 2 week trip to France that we had been planning for over a year. The downside of this was that it used up all of the vacation I had for the year. So if I wanted to fly to see her I would have to fly out after work on friday (get to Denver around 7pm local time) and fly back to Dallas sunday afternoon/evening. To add to that she works every saturday, plus one sunday a month. This was really not ideal and I haven't been up to Denver as much as I would like.

    Her mom has rented a cabin in Breckenridge from today until next saturday. For Christmas, I only get tuesday and wednesday off so I would have to get there late monday evening and leave the afternoon of Christmas Day. A couple of weeks ago I reached out to her mom and asked if it would be ok if I flew out monday night and surprised my gf. Her mom was really excited about it, and I've always gotten along with her mom and the rest of her family.

    Friday afternoon my gf called me and told me her mom told her about my plan. She also said that her mom and her husband had decided it wouldn't be a good idea for me to be there. I was really disappointed, like I said I'd always gotten along great with her mom and didn't understand why she wouldn't just call me to talk about it. Nonetheless, we hatched a plan for her to pick me up from the airport and then drive down to Colorado Springs to surprise my parents. It wasn't ideal but I was still going to get to see her and that's really what I wanted.

    Well today, her mom's husband called and said that they thought wanted her to stay in Breckenridge with them and it would be best if I stayed in Dallas.

    Now I don't know what the heck.

    I know this is probably catastrophizing but I'm really scared that her mom wants her to leave me because I moved away and haven't been back as often either of us would like. But there were extenuating circumstances that have kept me away. Trust me, nothing would make me happier than to be with her every weekend but it just hasn't been realistic. And what was I supposed to do? Stay in Denver, facing a terrible job market forever?

    So now I'm spending Christmas alone, depressed, and really scared that I might lose the love of my life.
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    #2
    It is possable to be excited about something and then have second thoughts about it. It seems in the end a joint Christmas was not to be. What about your birth family? Or are you used to celebrate with her family?
    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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      #3
      Is she much younger than you are? It seems her parents have too much control over her, if she's not. I'm sorry they're being such jerks, and that you'll be by yourself. Moving was the right choice, you can't just stick around and be unemployed indefinitely, you did the responsible thing, they should have more respect for that.

      If she's close to your age, I'd have to really question her choice to obey her parents wishes so readily, she should be living her own life, and deciding for herself what she wants to do for the holidays. Maturity and independence are important. I don't really have advice, sorry about that, but I think you need to have a real discussion with her, about what she wants and what needs to be done for you BOTH to be happy, you know? Good luck.
      Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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        #4
        Good luck! That sounds like a crappy position to be in.. If you are able to go down to visit your girlfriend and her family and want to, you should be able to! If you have other family or even close friends near you or close enough to travel to maybe you can spend Christmas with them. Maybe you could talk to your girlfriend to see if she could decipher why her parents suddenly didn't want you to come.. if there's some reason and then you can try and sort something out. I also think it's weird, if she is an adult she should be able to make her own decisions about who she spends the holidays with. You are in the same country, it should not be this difficult for you to spend the time with your partner if you are able to have the time off to travel and a bit of money so you can get there and maybe even get some gifts. I hope you work it out.

        If it still falls where you cannot visit her.. well try and video call with her at night or something at least and then at least you will be able to talk to her and see her face. Good luck!

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          #5
          I'm really sorry you have to be sad for Christmas. It does sound like plenty to make your holiday very blue. If you can go and want to go, why don't you go anyway? Let her know she can't make your decisions for you. You can see your family, give her the chance to pick you up from the airport. If she doesn't want to, that's her loss. I can't believe she is an adult and letting her parents make her decisions for her. I hope things change for you, so that you can be with her. Do talk with her and tell her (gently and with respect) how you feel.

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