Political and religious differences

[Sarah96]

My SO isn't a very political/religious person but does seem to have some opinions and is somewhat involved with those things. We have not yet had a full discussion about our views and beliefs, but I think I can tell that we won't agree on certain very important topics when we do decide to have that discussion. I love him and would never want to lose him, but when it comes to certain political/religious views I don't think I could be with someone who has very different views. Is that wrong? How have you guys dealt with political/religious differences? I completely respect his opinion and I'm not saying his opinions are wrong, because he can believe whatever he wants, he is his own person. I'm just wondering if it's possible to have a successful relationship with someone that doesn't share similar views on major issues?

[talim]

Me and my SO also have different political views, but I like it, because it's so interesting to discuss it So look on it as advantage! I think political disagreement would be a deal breaker for me only if my partner would have opinions like "gay people have no right to live" or "we should kill all jews", lol.

[snow_girl]

If neither of you are willing to compromise on your beliefs for the other then I don't see a relationship working out. Depending on how much importance you put on religious and political aspects will determine if the relationship will work or now. If he is a practicing Christian and you are not but he doesn't mind then it can work. If you are opposed to your children learning about the bible then it might not. If he is a socialist and you agree with fascism then it probably won't work. However if he is more liberal and you are slightly more conservative I don't see why it couldn't work.

[80anthea]

I think it depends on your individual personalities and how different the political/religious views are. My SO are pretty similar in our political ideologies on paper but we still debate things on a regular basis as we both enjoy those sort of conversations. Personally it would drive me mad to be with someone who agreed with me all the time as I need the mental stimulation of a good healthy debate.

We're both atheist although I've never been religious he was raised in an austere southern Baptist family and again that has lead to some very interesting discussions. I wouldn't be against dating someone who wasn't an atheist if they could handle pretty heated discussions on religion. I have some very good friends who are Christians but again they are the sort of people who are always up for debating!

[differentcountries]

I am more of a political animal then he is. I like it when he voices his opinions though. He is Muslim, I am Christian. I guess areas of troublesome differences may come up, but he is very polite, almost to the point of irritating me by not saying what is on his mind. At least he believes in the existance of God! I picture I would have a hard time being with an ateist, I have atheist friends but I don't like that in a lover for some reason. My husband is Christian but does not like organized religion, he seldom joins me at service. I love debates about anything including politics and religion.

[Sarah96]

Thanks everyone, I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else. I kept going back and forth in my head with this. We have pretty similar opinions except for a few "small" things but those "small" things are kind of important and big things to me. I guess since him and I have been pretty successful with compromising that we will also be able to compromise on those issues. Thanks so much!

[lucybelle]

I have very good friends who have very different religious views. Most all of my friends share similar political views, not sure I could pretend to like someone who doesn't approve of gay marriage, for example. I'll say it is very comforting to know that my SO and I agree on major points. I don't know that I'd want to be with someone who is a polar opposite. But if you compromise it is doable. There are already lots if threads on this topic. So obviously it works for some couples.

[Sarah96]

I have very good friends who have very different religious views. Most all of my friends share similar political views, not sure I could pretend to like someone who doesn't approve of gay marriage, for example. I'll say it is very comforting to know that my SO and I agree on major points. I don't know that I'd want to be with someone who is a polar opposite. But if you compromise it is doable. There are already lots if threads on this topic. So obviously it works for some couples.

Sorry, I know this is a little off topic, but how do you know if there is already a thread for a certain topic? I can't seem to figure that out. Do you just search for tags?

[lucybelle]

You can use the search feature. Also, when you type in a title for a thread other threads with related names pop up.

[TwoThree]

when it comes to certain political/religious views I don't think I could be with someone who has very different views. Is that wrong?

No, I don't think that it's wrong, personally. At least the religion part. To me, politics are mostly opinions, while religion has an immense effect on both the person who believes it and practices it, but also their partner, and eventually their children, so it's important to know exactly where you both stand and how willing you both would be to compromise.

My SO and I are thankfully both irreligious, so that will never be a problem for us. And I do not care much about politics, and I don't think he does either. Mostly we agree on important issues, even though I like to tease him for being a tree-hugging hippie (just because he votes for the Greens. He's actually pro-nuclear power)

[churchgrim]

I guess since him and I have been pretty successful with compromising that we will also be able to compromise on those issues. Thanks so much!

I don't have anything to say about differing political and religious views as my SO and I are very similar, buuuuutttt
Some of you keep saying the word "compromise" and in my view trying to compromise about your religion (or any very personal belief) isn't the way to go? And is a really bad thing to do?
Like, if I was a devout Catholic and my SO a buddhist, I would never compromise my views to make him comfortable, or expect him to do the same for me. It seems like it would just disrespect both of our personal values and beliefs to "tone down" how we express our religion.

We have pretty similar opinions except for a few "small" things but those "small" things are kind of important and big things to me.

It's obvious those "small" things are in fact pretty damn large. If you can't handle being with someone who doesn't share the same (major) views as you, I really think it will be easier for both of you to move on and find someone else who does.

Maybe I'm just reading it the wrong way

[differentcountries]

[QUOTE=churchgrim;329526]I don't have anything to say about differing political and religious views as my SO and I are very similar, buuuuutttt
Some of you keep saying the word "compromise" and in my view trying to compromise about your religion (or any very personal belief) isn't the way to go? And is a really bad thing to do?
Like, if I was a devout Catholic and my SO a buddhist, I would never compromise my views to make him comfortable, or expect him to do the same for me. It seems like it would just disrespect both of our personal values and beliefs to "tone down" how we express our religion.

It's obvious those "small" things are in fact pretty damn large. If you can't handle being with someone who doesn't share the same (major) views as you, I really think it will be easier for both of you to move on and find someone else who does.

Maybe I'm just reading it the wrong way [/QUOTE)
I think what is meant that you must work out a way to practically live your life together. Like, where and when is it ok to meditate? Can you ask another person to join you at church or mosk? How will children be raised? What about bacon for dinner, darling?

[lucybelle]

Well churchgrim, it is obvious you are not a candidate for an inter-religious relationship (partially judging just from your username). Lots of compromise and meeting in the middle has to happen. Which religious holidays are celebrated? Which religious dress code is followed, and by whom? Which religious format will be followed at important life steps such as marriage, child birth, christening, etc? Even just at meals, will you pray beforehand, and to whom? Which religious diet will be followed, and how strict will you be with that diet? What about feelings towards other religions being "wrong" or "damned"?

[Dziubka]

It depends on how big the differences are.
I couldn't be with someone who had very different political or religious views from me.

I can't imagine sharing my bed and life with someone who thought the world should be run in a way that I think is totally wrong. I also couldn't stand being with someone who was either very religious or fiercly anti religion.
There's nothing wrong with that. You need to agree on certain things with someone who you're talking to every day

[BabyGund]

I don't have anything to say about differing political and religious views as my SO and I are very similar, buuuuutttt
Some of you keep saying the word "compromise" and in my view trying to compromise about your religion (or any very personal belief) isn't the way to go? And is a really bad thing to do?
Like, if I was a devout Catholic and my SO a buddhist, I would never compromise my views to make him comfortable, or expect him to do the same for me. It seems like it would just disrespect both of our personal values and beliefs to "tone down" how we express our religion.

It's obvious those "small" things are in fact pretty damn large. If you can't handle being with someone who doesn't share the same (major) views as you, I really think it will be easier for both of you to move on and find someone else who does.

Maybe I'm just reading it the wrong way

The compromise is in agreeing how you both will celebrate. One of my best girlfriends is Christian and her husband is Jewish. They celebrate both religions and expose their son to both.

The Man is atheist. I'm Christian. We've discussed how I'd probably attend church on my own. He's also very liberal and I'm fairly conservative. We've agreed not to discuss politics. I have plenty of political groups to discuss that with.

All about compromise.