Am I being paranoid?

[Flicker]

So, a bit of background. For a while before my boyfriend and I got together, he was in a couple of very short term LDRs. He was with a girl for a few weeks. I'll call her Emma. There was another girl who was interested in him - I'd say she had a crush on him. I'll call her Marie. We were all friends on the website where I met my boyfriend.

I think my boyfriend was only with Emma because she liked him. Eventually, he realized he liked Marie better, so he broke up with Emma. He and Marie were in a relationship, if you can call it that, maybe a week or two, and I don't think Marie took it very seriously. Shortly after that, Marie met another guy she liked, and she broke up with my boyfriend. Several weeks after that, he and I started talking more, and we realized we had had feelings for each other the whole time. That's when we decided to start a relationship. That was about 2 months ago.

He never really got over what happened with Marie. He's still mad at the guy who "stole" her. Just recently, Marie and her new boyfriend broke up. Apparently, she had personal issues and broke up with him. My Hoyfriend was the one who told me - I don't know how he found out.

My problem, now, is that I'm afraid my boyfriend is going to leave me for Marie. I'm worried that she'll try to get back together with him now that she's single. He says that he got over her a long time ago and only loves me, but I'm still paranoid. As far as I know, they don't even talk anymore. But every time I talk to him, I'm terrified that he's going to break up with me. I'm afraid that I'll say one bad thing, and he'll decide to leave me for her. Our relationship is still new, and even though I love him and know he loves me, I'm afraid he's going to just lose interest in me.

Am I being paranoid? I'm not sure what to say to him about this, and I'm worried that if I stay like this, I'll just seem obsessive and jealous. Should I try to talk to him and/or Marie about this?

[snow_girl]

Don't talk to him about it, and absolutely do not say anything to Marie about it. You will look crazy, true story I was kinda like Marie once. Girl was jealous type, it was halloween I was dressed sparsely and guys gf didn't like the looks of me and god forbid he say hey to me. She took him into the bedroom and they fought for 30 min over me and what was going on with me, it was completely unfounded. I had met him once before and exchanged a few words. Seriously just leave it, talking to either of them will make you seem super insecure. Shove those feeling deep down inside you and never let them out, because they probably are also unfounded and not worth stirring up anything over.

[TooFarAway]

Ayyyy don't worry I get paranoid so easily. But with what you were saying I think it's normal that you feel this way.
With what snow said, yes it would be best to not say anything and not look like the super insecure rachet girlfriend LOL.
But I almost never follow that advice, because I'll admit I got some trust and jealousy issues. If something is really making me uncomfortable then I'll confront my SO about it (Not in an angry rachet crazy gf way ok). Because taking those emotions and putting them away might just make me cause an even bigger explosion later. But don't do anything if nothing has happened between Marie and your bf yet. (Like what snow said, she and that guy really didn't even do anythingggg)
Just start saying something if they started getting a little toooo friendly with each other or there's actual evident reason to think that your bf is playing dirty

[jana89]

My SO was with his ex for 3 years in an "ordinary" (not LD) relationship. I have met him few months after they broke up. He is not friend with her, he never talks about her ... and yet, when they met once in a bar and she made a move to get him back, i got really scared. But my SO told her about me and that he is happy with me, then he told me about meeting her and that I do not have to worry and that was it. I trust my SO when he tells me he loves ME and wants to be with ME. You should trust your SO as well, if he is the right one, he will not do anything to hurt you.

[piratemama]

I agree with the other comments. Absolutely, never, ever, no never, say anything to Marie. I wouldn't say anything to your SO either. I believe it's best to trust until you have reason not to do so. It's the nature of the beast of the LDR to wonder and to fear, esp. if we have someone we care about. You have to continually talk to yourself about it. A guy wouldn't like you to constantly nag or question about it; you'll push him away with that. If you get really nervous, you might casually and respectfully mention how a LDR makes you feel a bit insecure. Stay calm, though, and don't get emotional.

[differentcountries]

You don't even know if Marie is interested - why talk to her? Your bf seem a little obsessed with Marie, but just aqknowledge that for some reason she was special to him once. Now is your chance to show him what a Great gf you are ; loving him, not fuzzing etc. Often people obsess over previous partners they were not compatible with. Just act normal.

[Spooks]

In my opinion, talking to her will make you seem like the crazy girlfriend who doesn't trust her SO. If he wants her, then that's fate and you'll find somebody else who loves you. Like somebody else said above, you don't even know if she likes him still. You don't know if HE wants her still. I would just sweep it away and see what happens.

[Flicker]

Thanks for the advice. I'm a very paranoid person, especially when it comes to people I love. I tend to overthink things. Now that I've tried to think about it a bit...there's no real reason to believe my boyfriend has even spoken to her in months, and he certainly doesn't seem unhappy with me. I'll keep an eye on the situation...I don't think I'll say anything to Marie, considering she's still my friend, and any sort of discussion I could have with her about this would probably lead to both of us getting mad. Thanks again.