I'm a bit scared

[skgirl]

I've been friends with my SO for over a year we had been in an ldr once for 4montgs, broke up because of the distance, and now we're back together (it's been 2months) We used to talk for hours everyday. He would text me as soon as he wakes up, sometimes during his work, after work, and before he goes to bed. But about 4days ago he started texting me once a day and I've heard nothing from him since Christmas eve when he sent me a "Have a good Christmas babe " message...I replied back saying "Merry Christmas to you too babe" and since then I havent heard anything from him. I did send him a message saying that I won't be able to text him because I would be staying at a place where there's no wifi at all. But I'm not sure if he read the message or not. If he did read it then there would be a notice but nothing happened. I know he'll never cheat on me cause he had been cheated on three times by his exes. And he told me that he would never cheat on me a few times.
Do you think he's trying to break up with me by avoiding my messages? or do you think he wants "space"? I heard that guys really love having their own time alone.

[jana89]

I did send him a message saying that I won't be able to text him because I would be staying at a place where there's no wifi at all.

Isnīt it possible that he is just waiting for you to come back? My SO donīt like sending me phone text messages, cause itīs very expensive for him, so we almost entirely depend on fb chat and if one of us is out of reach of internet, we donīt talk at all. Donīt panic and wait or maybe send him a message saying "Miss you" or something like that and you will see if he is gonna answer.

[differentcountries]

I think he is busy with Christmas and think you are too.

[piratemama]

Two things:
One, he may not like writing or typing, even short messages. My SO hates to write, but will talk a long time on the phone or Skype.
Two, the best advice I ever got was to back off so many text messages and emails. I use those for two reasons only - to say how much I love him, miss him, or want him and I only say those things very briefly OR to answer one of his messages, again briefly. Every so often I go off on a wild hair and start writing too much or too often, and he doesn't respond well to that. I save the long talks and day-to-day details for phone calls or Skyping. I think we can make the guys feel overwhelmed with all our words. They do need down time and space to process stuff, even daily stuff that doesn't involve us.

Do you two Skype? I know you are in a place where you can't now, but I recommend Skyping whenever you can. It's the best for my SO and me.

Most of the time, not always, but most of the time, a guy means nothing by backing off a bit for a short time.

[lyonsgirl]

Two, the best advice I ever got was to back off so many text messages and emails. I use those for two reasons only - to say how much I love him, miss him, or want him and I only say those things very briefly OR to answer one of his messages, again briefly. Every so often I go off on a wild hair and start writing too much or too often, and he doesn't respond well to that. I save the long talks and day-to-day details for phone calls or Skyping. I think we can make the guys feel overwhelmed with all our words. They do need down time and space to process stuff, even daily stuff that doesn't involve us.

Do you two Skype? I know you are in a place where you can't now, but I recommend Skyping whenever you can. It's the best for my SO and me.

Most of the time, not always, but most of the time, a guy means nothing by backing off a bit for a short time.

I disagree. While we were getting to know each other, we relied solely on texts. No, we didn't send walls of text, but it was pretty much constant conversation for 3 weeks. (Until we were both back at university)

We actually both hate talking on the phone, yes, even to each other. Our phone calls, when we were LD, were typically short.

I don't think it's completely fair to say that all guys get overwhelmed with our words. I do think, though, that everyone should talk to their partners and "feel each other out", so to speak, on the best way to talk.

One last thing: "guys need downtime to process things"-you know that not all guys are like that, right? Honestly, there are times when I need more time than he does to work through an issue. When we argue, I get extremely emotional and our tempers flare. Okay, fine, mostly mine does. But give me 20 minutes and I've cooled down enough to talk rationally about the issue. Anyway. Just thought I'd mention that not everyone is the same.

[Heavenly_Love12]

I think you have received some good advice so far. I agree that he could be waiting for you to come back. Have you tried to contact him since Christmas? Based on what you said about telling him you would be out of pocket for a few days, he's probably just assuming that you're still someplace without WiFi. Does he like to write you? I know my SO would much rather talk than write which is what we normally do. Some people prefer no versus the other and that could have something to do with it.

I would try to message him to let him know that you're available again and go from there. There are a bunch of things that could be going on and you don't want to drive yourself crazy worrying. Have faith and trust that things are fine until you are told otherwise.

[Kitty Boo]

I've been friends with my SO for over a year we had been in an ldr once for 4montgs, broke up because of the distance, and now we're back together (it's been 2months) We used to talk for hours everyday. He would text me as soon as he wakes up, sometimes during his work, after work, and before he goes to bed. But about 4days ago he started texting me once a day and I've heard nothing from him since Christmas eve when he sent me a "Have a good Christmas babe " message...I replied back saying "Merry Christmas to you too babe" and since then I havent heard anything from him. I did send him a message saying that I won't be able to text him because I would be staying at a place where there's no wifi at all. But I'm not sure if he read the message or not. If he did read it then there would be a notice but nothing happened. I know he'll never cheat on me cause he had been cheated on three times by his exes. And he told me that he would never cheat on me a few times.
Do you think he's trying to break up with me by avoiding my messages? or do you think he wants "space"? I heard that guys really love having their own time alone.

Hey you need to keep in mind that it is the festive period and he could be busy with his family. I know my SO does a lot more at Christmas than I do, and he's always got dinners and things to do. He might just be a bit busy at the moment. Don't read too far into these things, it might even be a network issue! Phone networks can be a little bit dodgy around Christmas and New Year because they've been bombarded by messages, so he might not have actually seen your message, especially as you said there hasn't been a notice saying he's read it. Why don't you just try sending him a quick little message, saying "how are you" or "I miss you" or just telling him you're back? Good luck!

[Dezface]

I disagree. While we were getting to know each other, we relied solely on texts. No, we didn't send walls of text, but it was pretty much constant conversation for 3 weeks. (Until we were both back at university)

We actually both hate talking on the phone, yes, even to each other. Our phone calls, when we were LD, were typically short.

I don't think it's completely fair to say that all guys get overwhelmed with our words. I do think, though, that everyone should talk to their partners and "feel each other out", so to speak, on the best way to talk.

One last thing: "guys need downtime to process things"-you know that not all guys are like that, right? Honestly, there are times when I need more time than he does to work through an issue. When we argue, I get extremely emotional and our tempers flare. Okay, fine, mostly mine does. But give me 20 minutes and I've cooled down enough to talk rationally about the issue. Anyway. Just thought I'd mention that not everyone is the same.

I agree Lyons. My SO is very "wordy." We live together now and when we're apart for the day he *still* texts me to ask what I'm doing, say he loves me, etc.. He also leaves me notes every morning when he leaves for work so the generalization that men get overwhelmed with words isn't entirely true

[LadyDaemon]

Yeah I have to say I disagree too about guys not being very 'wordy' as Dez put it. Me and my fiance actually find it easier to talk on text or a written message vs talking in real life. Especially when we have to confront each other about something. I think all of the other ladies have given you good advice. Good luck.

[hopefulteapot]

I REALLY don't want to hurt your feelings but I'd like to kindly let you know that it really appears he's not interested.

[skgirl]

Thanks guys for all the good advice! He texted me back today ^^

[JoeyBug]

Isnīt it possible that he is just waiting for you to come back? My SO donīt like sending me phone text messages, cause itīs very expensive for him, so we almost entirely depend on fb chat and if one of us is out of reach of internet, we donīt talk at all. Donīt panic and wait or maybe send him a message saying "Miss you" or something like that and you will see if he is gonna answer.

I agree with this advice and others you have gotten. I got a text from Scott on Christmas morning, and then again on Boxing day to touch base, but he had flown down to Florida to surprise his dad and so was busy getting back and spending time with them. It could also be that he knows that you were without wifi and just thought he would wait until you got back. Christmas is a busy period for a lot of people!