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**BabyGund** · December 29, 2013, 09:04 AM

As we all say, communication is key in any relationship, but especially LDR. It's crucial to making it work.

Is it worth it? Absolutely! Look at the success stories of those who have closed the distance. And even those who don't or eventually break up are worth it. You will have learned a lot about yourself and love to take into your next relationship.

**piratemama** · December 29, 2013, 09:23 AM

Welcome to the forum.

Yes, LDR's are very much worth it with the right person. It is scary, but nothing worthwhile is easy. Just focus on the positive aspects of the LDR - you get to know that person in a way you might not otherwise. Also, realize situations can sometimes look bad over the distance, when nothing is really wrong. When you have doubts or concerns, just respectfully discuss them with your SO. My biggest problem has been having expectations of what I think will or should happen, then I get mad, hurt and/or disappointed when it doesn't work out my way. I've gotten some excellent advice on this forum to always discuss what is expected early. This includes the big items and the smaller issues. For ex., my feelings were really hurt when I didn't get a Christmas gift. That was totally my fault, though, because I didn't talk with my SO before Christmas about what we should do. As BabyGund said, communication is more important with a LDR than anything other than love.

Also, try to do everything you can to stay connected. I've done some silly things that I wouldn't usually have done, because it keeps us connected. My SO has seemed to appreciate whatever I want to try, and he tries what he can, too. For example, we have a Listhings board that has been great. I didn't think he'd like it, but he does. Be sure to search the articles on the lovingfromadistance.com site. They are most helpful.

**mQQnie** · December 29, 2013, 10:45 AM

Originally posted by BabyGund View Post

As we all say, communication is key in any relationship, but especially LDR. It's crucial to making it work.

Is it worth it? Absolutely! Look at the success stories of those who have closed the distance. And even those who don't or eventually break up are worth it. You will have learned a lot about yourself and love to take into your next relationship.

Thank you so much, BabyGund! and this is actually something he stresses to me quite frequently! lol Communication and honesty!
My problem, though....is i have 1,000 words to relay only a few!

lol
Thank you for the advice...

**mQQnie** · December 29, 2013, 10:52 AM

Originally posted by piratemama View Post

Welcome to the forum.

Yes, LDR's are very much worth it with the right person. It is scary, but nothing worthwhile is easy. Just focus on the positive aspects of the LDR - you get to know that person in a way you might not otherwise. Also, realize situations can sometimes look bad over the distance, when nothing is really wrong. When you have doubts or concerns, just respectfully discuss them with your SO. My biggest problem has been having expectations of what I think will or should happen, then I get mad, hurt and/or disappointed when it doesn't work out my way. I've gotten some excellent advice on this forum to always discuss what is expected early. This includes the big items and the smaller issues. For ex., my feelings were really hurt when I didn't get a Christmas gift. That was totally my fault, though, because I didn't talk with my SO before Christmas about what we should do. As BabyGund said, communication is more important with a LDR than anything other than love.

Also, try to do everything you can to stay connected. I've done some silly things that I wouldn't usually have done, because it keeps us connected. My SO has seemed to appreciate whatever I want to try, and he tries what he can, too. For example, we have a Listhings board that has been great. I didn't think he'd like it, but he does. Be sure to search the articles on the siteThey are most helpful.

Thank you so much as well!

I do believe with all my heart, he IS the right person...and goodness, i've waited for him for sooooooooo many years....
And yes, scary as HELL! but i've been through many scary things in my life...i'm not a stranger to them, and maybe....it was preparation for this relationship? i like to believe that....
And it is soooo funny you mention "expectations"!! I had the EXACT same problem with him this Christmas! our very first one!
Although he gives and gives and gives some more, all year....i had huuuuuuge expectations for Christmas, and well....it didn't happen...

But, we are still together thank God....i do try to communicate as much as i can...but sometimes, with the personality i have, it is best to just swallow it...and deal with it on my own....and recover.... ~soft smiles~ And just come back to him and bring him the best of me that i can....
I will remember to focus on nothing but the positive...thank you for your advice as well!

**Roro** · December 29, 2013, 10:53 AM

Hey I just joined up today too!

But yes I think you just answered your own question there, if you feel those kind of emotions and feel that drawn to someone, the problem of distance is not that bad to overcome. Best way to put it is this -

When people are in a LDR, they can't physically express in close proximity till they meet. So the connection you feel is entirely due to you falling in love with the other persons heart and mind. Remember, physical attractions are common, mental connections are rare. So if you've already made it past the barrier of not physically being there, you're pretty much in something worthwhile

Best of luck!

**TooFarAway** · December 29, 2013, 11:01 AM

Awww you're so cutee! I was like you too LOL. Absolutely scared of being in an LDR because I didn't know what the heck I was doing. But I also hated hated hated LDRs with a passion. I told myself "I'll never be in an online LDR ok." And look where I am now LOL. In an LDR on and off for over a year now lmao. Love really bit me in the ass when I least expected it.
I agree with the above posters: LDRs are worth it based on the success stories on here and communication communication communication, because that's really all you have in an LDR. Both of you in an LDR needa be super open with each other and be in contact.
Another tip is: don't stress too much (like me when I first started my LDR LOL.) Don't be scared! It will be the hardest thing ever no lie, but enjoy and have fun with your SO ;P
Btw welcome to the forum!!!! <3

**Heavenly_Love12** · December 29, 2013, 12:29 PM

I'm sure you'll find this site to be full of awesome people! It's great to have a place to go when you have questions, need advice, or just want to chat with others who know what you're experiencing. Take each day at a time and celebrate the small victories. Communication and trust are even more important in an LDR than in a CD; without those, you can't have a relationship. Stay positive and find things to do to keep you busy. I work full time and am working on my Master's part time. I also volunteer and take part in church activities, if I'm not working that is. Hobbies are great too, just anything so you're not solely focused on your relationship. To keep it going, you just have to work at it. Take time to talk to each other, spend time together, and try to make each other feel special. It can be difficult at some points and you will have rough patches but this happens in CD relationships too! We are always here so feel free to post and/or message people when you need an ear or want to lend one

**mQQnie** · December 29, 2013, 12:45 PM

Originally posted by Roro View Post

Hey I just joined up today too!

But yes I think you just answered your own question there, if you feel those kind of emotions and feel that drawn to someone, the problem of distance is not that bad to overcome. Best way to put it is this -

When people are in a LDR, they can't physically express in close proximity till they meet. So the connection you feel is entirely due to you falling in love with the other persons heart and mind. Remember, physical attractions are common, mental connections are rare. So if you've already made it past the barrier of not physically being there, you're pretty much in something worthwhile

Best of luck!

~soft smiles~
Thank you!! And yes, i fell in love with him.....eight months before i even saw his face!!

A beautiful, and yes rare occurrence....yet, i'm still so afraid....

**mQQnie** · December 29, 2013, 12:48 PM

Originally posted by TooFarAway View Post

Awww you're so cutee! I was like you too LOL. Absolutely scared of being in an LDR because I didn't know what the heck I was doing. But I also hated hated hated LDRs with a passion. I told myself "I'll never be in an online LDR ok." And look where I am now LOL. In an LDR on and off for over a year now lmao. Love really bit me in the ass when I least expected it.
I agree with the above posters: LDRs are worth it based on the success stories on here and communication communication communication, because that's really all you have in an LDR. Both of you in an LDR needa be super open with each other and be in contact.
Another tip is: don't stress too much (like me when I first started my LDR LOL.) Don't be scared! It will be the hardest thing ever no lie, but enjoy and have fun with your SO ;P
Btw welcome to the forum!!!! <3

~happy smiles~
Thank you & thank you!!
All of your advice is really helping....and pssst, if you look up "stress" in the dictionary, you'll see my name! lmao
I must seek out the "success" stories!

Thank you for the welcome....

**mQQnie** · December 29, 2013, 12:52 PM

Originally posted by Heavenly_Love12 View Post

I'm sure you'll find this site to be full of awesome people! It's great to have a place to go when you have questions, need advice, or just want to chat with others who know what you're experiencing. Take each day at a time and celebrate the small victories. Communication and trust are even more important in an LDR than in a CD; without those, you can't have a relationship. Stay positive and find things to do to keep you busy. I work full time and am working on my Master's part time. I also volunteer and take part in church activities, if I'm not working that is. Hobbies are great too, just anything so you're not solely focused on your relationship. To keep it going, you just have to work at it. Take time to talk to each other, spend time together, and try to make each other feel special. It can be difficult at some points and you will have rough patches but this happens in CD relationships too! We are always here so feel free to post and/or message people when you need an ear or want to lend one

And ohhhhhhhh thank you thank you thank YOU so much!!!
I do attend college.....buuuut i'm on break now, and really have absolutely NOTHING to do...

So, i see him on Skype...and i wonder why he's not wanting to talk to ME 24/7, when i wanna do that with him!!
i have a BAD tendency to do what you mentioned....give myself COMPLETELY....almost to the point of losing my own self....
and i obsess baaaaaad....which is how and why i found this forum...so i wouldn't constantly bug him on Skype! lol
So yes, i am definitely beginning to see the positives of this kind of relationship! lol And i do understand why he wants me to WAIT... ughhhhhh
Glad to meet all of you!
And thank you all for your helpful advice!

**snow_girl** · December 29, 2013, 06:52 PM

Welcome

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New to this site & my long distance relationship

New to this site & my long distance relationship

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