How do I get her to respond more?`

[Roro]

So it's reached the 3 year point, and we love each other dearly. But this year we've had a rough last half, with her having to do college AND work a full time job AND live with a friend (AND I USE THAT TERM LIGHTLY) who basically doesn't respect her privacy and isn't very nice. You can imagine the stress on this girl, she's amazing to even go through it all, all for the reason of moving to me. During this time we could only communicate during the weekend. It got hard, and then she wouldn't send me random messages via facebook or the phone app we use, that stopped entirely, but again, you could put that down to the job/school. Eventually she had her exams, for which she needed space, so we literally didn't communicate much at all, like maybe less than 1 hour a week for 2 weeks. Then after that she ended up moving in with a new house mate, so for the next 2 weeks it was 1 day out of the weekends, and then last week we finally got to have a whole 5 hours of talking continuous like we used to. The next day wasn't possible so that made me a little sad. It seems like its always me having to start the convo now and I put in so much more in terms of romantic gestures, sweet words, compliments and being loving.

Is there anything you guys would do or do you think this is perfectly normal given her circumstances and I should just wait it out?

[snow_girl]

It's not a competition on who give more sweet words. If she is busy and stressed that last thing she probably wants to do it be mushy. Thats how I'd be. Have you talked to her about it? That would be a good start. Maybe she just isn't feeling it anymore.

[Roro]

Totally agreed snow girl, its not a competition at all, though even though I just said all that, when I send her recorded messages she usually sends back some really nice ones, and I just sent her a message like "Good morning gorgeous! 24 days left! love you!!" and she sent one back like "I love you baby, thank you, just a few more weeks!" I dunno, she used to be even more hyper than me, actually...as I write this I realise that maybe I am being a little immature here, poor girl has just done so much hard work, of course shes not gonna be the same energetic loved up girl she was straight away, shes probably mentally exhausted and will be for a little while :\ Bless her <3 I guess i'll just ride it out, she's worth it

[Bluejay Belle]

I used to be more romantic, I suppose, than my boyfriend, and then I started working three jobs and going to school and if he does as much as smile he's won the title. You'll see her soon - 20 odd days - perhaps then she'll be more relaxed and more of the person you first met.

[Roro]

How ironic is this...?? I just spoke to her mum, she said that she wanted to give me a little hint before I come, apparently my gf is expecting my romance A-Game? Interesting...veryyy interesting my dear gf, ok very well, all thats left then is to blow her mind with my romance. Challenge. Accepted.

[lucybelle]

I feel like now is not a good time to bring this up. My SO was working full time, schooling part time and he was constantly stressed out, so I picked my battles very very wisely. I don't think "not using enough terms of endearment" is a good battle for you to pick right now.

[Roro]

Agreed, ill wait till I see her face to face then see how she is and ask her anything I need to ask her there, I can wait 20 days

[Spooks]

I feel like now is not a good time to bring this up. My SO was working full time, schooling part time and he was constantly stressed out, so I picked my battles very very wisely. I don't think "not using enough terms of endearment" is a good battle for you to pick right now.

Agreed, you don't want to stress her out even more. Be supportive when she can talk to you, be somebody she can some to when shes stressed out. Make her laugh, tell her you miss her. Just make it easy.

[piratemama]

Some of us don't care for talking or writing or whatever. And, all of us have times we are tired, stressed, or busy, so those times of talking lots get fewer. Since she still responds to you with loving words, I wouldn't worry. Everything will be fine when you are with her. Anytime she does those things that mean the most to you, remind her how good it makes you feel.

[Heavenly_Love12]

I agree with what others have said. I work full-time and am working on a master's part-time. My work schedule, combined with his and the time difference, makes it difficult for us to talk on days that I work. We have an understanding that we will try to talk on the days I work but if it's not possible, we will try to message each other. My SO is way more proactive at sending my cute and loving messages than I am, it's just his nature. I would wait until she is less stressed out to discuss this and like others have said, it's not a competition. I'm sure once you're together in a few days, everything will seem a lot easier and better.

[Mims27]

My SO and I are going through the exact same thing. She's super busy with school, work and BS at home. I'm not busy, so I have the mind set to think about this stuff and I love doing it. I do wish she did it more but I have to understand that she has other stuff (a lot) on her mind. Just gotta be patient. The other day she totally surprised me with a cute little video, telling me she loves me and such. It completely surprised me and made me a ball of mush! haha Hang in there, it'll be ok!

[Roro]

Dude, you're in the exact same situation as me lol, I admire that you deal with it alot better than I do, but I guess our partners are worth it right??

I mean, all I want is equal effort, with my gf she has got a job, just moved into a new place and that's it for her responsibilities. I feel like the way it is now, it's always me having to start convos, due to the time difference we only get weekends to speak. And at the moment its still me texting her to let her know im available to talk and not the other way around. I got advised to just stop texting/messaging her and drop the ball in her court to see how it goes. What do you people think? Thanks!