Is it wrong?

[Roro]

My gf has found it hard to tell me about guys that hit on her, shes says its only for my sake, because she doesnt want me to go weird by finding out about it, which I would do originally but i've grown up since.

Anyway she tells me that she got hit on by two guys recently, one guy who was overstepping his mark who is her car dealer she met a few months ago so shes keeping him at arms length, but said hes got a heart of gold and said he wanted space away from her to get past his feelings.

The second is a guy shes known for a couple of years, a friend of a friend, he admitted that he would be interested in her but doesnt chase after taken girls. She says he jokingly flirts with her now and then. She asked me if it was okay for her to watch a film with him cuddled up on the sofa, by cuddle she didnt mean on top of each other but just cuddled watching it. I said it was fine really, as I trusted her.

In your opinion did I make the right decision or should I be wary of this dude?

[TaraMarie]

Huge mistake! It's ok to have male friends....but don't cuddle!

[Kitten_mittens]

I don't know your relationship like you do.. But the only times I would even consider cuddling with anyone is if I'm single or almost single. I admire your trust in her. I'm pretty sure I would never feel comfortable with my SO doing this. I wouldn't even want him watching a movie alone with someone who has feelings for him. And I would never do that to him either. Honestly if I was in your shoes I would be worried. =[ Sorry if this is the worst advice ever.

[TooFarAway]

I don't know your relationship like you do.. But the only times I would even consider cuddling with anyone is if I'm single or almost single. I admire your trust in her. I'm pretty sure I would never feel comfortable with my SO doing this. I wouldn't even want him watching a movie alone with someone who has feelings for him. And I would never do that to him either. Honestly if I was in your shoes I would be worried. =[ Sorry if this is the worst advice ever.

I feel the same way.
You're allowing her to cuddle him? Are you kidding me? LOL
I would be very worried to be honest xD That's just not right.

[stormy]

Well... my mouth was open when I read the cuddling part.
As someone else has said, you know your relationship better than any of us but... I really would not be ok with that, at all. I don't know if I would be worried about this one particular person as much as I would about my SO telling me these things and wanting permission to go through with something like that.

[Dezface]

I think asking your boyfriend if you can cuddle with some other guy is ridiculous. Trust is great, but that is something that should be reserved for your relationship. She's just asking for something to happen. To be completely honest, I'd be surprised if it didn't.

[piratemama]

Cuddle? Really??? It's a bit late now, but she shouldn't cuddle anyone else. I'm 47, and I have lots of experience with people. It's not good she asked to cuddle with someone. Heck, I'd be concerned if she wanted to be alone with a guy and watch a movie, let along cuddle. However, I'm curious why she'd tell you this. She could have cuddled and not told you. Wonder could she be trying to make you jealous?

I would never want to cuddle with someone I'm not very close to. I don't want my SO cuddling anyone but me, and I'm sure he doesn't want me cuddling anyone but him. That's too close.

It's very admirable that you are that open and trust her that much. I recognize you are trying to do right by her, but she might be taking advantage. It's not normal for a committed girl to do that with another guy.

[Hollandia]

Cuddling is more intimate than sex to me at times. I would never cuddle with someone else and I expect he would never do so either. It makes it even worse that this person has admitted an attraction to her and she knows it. No way, not in a million years is that okay. I get lonely too, and could find cuddle offers if I wanted, but I wait and save my cuddles for my SO.

[Roro]

Right I messaged her saying I dont feel comfortable with it at all. She said she understands and she wont do it, I asked her if she misses being held or if I dont give her enough attention. She replied that she DID miss being held, but would never go around asking random guys out or to cuddle. She said she does that with female friends and out of habit used to cuddle her guy friends when they used to live closer years back, but they were like older brothers. She said I give her enough attention also

[Roro]

Dont know if this is worth mentioning but she told me told me straight after not to worry and that by cuddling she meant they would not be touchy feely at all and would never do that, she even sent a picture of two people just pretty much closer together with their feet up watching a film.

[Heavenly_Love12]

I didn't realize that people had different ideas on what cuddling entails. I would be weary since she told you it's something she's done in the past. You're a guy, you know that even if a girl feels that a guy is just a friend, the guy could think differently... It's great that you trust her and have open communication but it's a red flag to me that she said that in the first place.

[Zephii]

I guess I shouldn't be terribly surprised by most people's reactions here, but for what it's worth, I don't think cuddling up with a friend for a movie, even one of the opposite sex, is particularly a big deal. The fact he's expressed an interest in her and they haven't known each other long is where I'd draw the line, only because it would be leading him on. But mates she's always done that with? Who cares?

Obi used to ask me, way back when we first committed, if he could do the same thing with certain people. In the long run he admitted he found it hard not to take things further than I'd allowed and so he stopped putting himself in those situations, but I never felt I had to worry that he'd over step the mark. That's what trust is! I know full well if he wants to sleep with someone other than me, he will ask me first, so I never have to worry that a cuddle is going to go too far. I am grateful however that we're no longer LD and don't have to think about it any more, because I am a terribly jealous person at heart

I think if your trust and communication is strong enough then you don't have to worry so much about what other people might think, go with what works for you as a couple. Relationships are not one size fits all.

[Alsfia]

Umm... It seems like I'm the only one so far not totally against cuddling others. I'm fine with cuddling my friends (mainly girls but I have on occasion cuddled one or two of my guy friends, they always know I'm taken though and do in fact know my SO) and my little brother, my SO doesn't mind and I don't mind him cuddling people either. It's not like we share bed with other people and cuddle then, more a friendly cuddle watching tv (my girlfriends and brother) or a drunken token of friendship (from my side at least). I would never cuddle anyone who has expressed interest in me though, wouldn't like to encourage anyone or give them false hopes.

[Alsfia]

I see Zephii beat me to it

[itsjen516]

Not the best choice. Sure it's a cuddle but cuddle can lead to more. I get you trust her but why would she be up for cuddling ?
That's the last thing I want to do with another guy while in a relationship