In denial? How do I deal?

[ElenW]

Hi

My special guy - still technically a friend, but 'getting there' - is going overseas in a couple of weeks (for five months!). Right now I'm trying to keep myself as busy as possible, because if I don't then I end up thinking and thinking usually results in crying, because in simple terms I don't want him to go. The trouble is, doing 'stuff' all the time (getting up until going to bed) means I'm completely shattered, and I suspect that being so tired is making me even more emotional!!

So how do I cope with these last couple of weeks (I may not see him in the last week, as he's away on a pre-departure training course) constructively, so that I don't end up in a heap?? Advice and experience most definitely welcome!

El xx

[stormy]

I think that what you will continually hear is that you have to keep busy.

I am usually OK while at work, participating in my hobbies, hanging out with people I care about (even if that is just having them over for a meal).

For most people the most difficult part of the day in these terms is waking up and going to sleep alone. I do not think it gets easier, I just try to think about how much I will be able to appreciate all of these small but important moments once we are sharing a bed/home/life together.

My SO is in the NAVY so the more difficult times are definitely when they are out there and there is close to no communication. I have cried during those times as well, a sign that I miss and love him. It is OK to be sad, just don't let it hold you down or back for too long.

I wish you all the best!

[piratemama]

Between now and then, try to do as much as you can with him. Remember, he's having a hard time with the idea of leaving you, too, so be supportive of him. Once he's gone, try to stay connected with him. You'll find lots of ideas on this forum and the website lovingfromadistance.com. It helps to keep busy with plans of what you can do for him and how to stay connected. Some members of the forum talk about gifts they make with their crafty skills. I can't do that, but I'm always thinking of what I can do for my SO.

You'll find that being in an LDR is a challenge, but it can be very rewarding. There are more ways than you realize to romance over the miles. Don't be discouraged.