Why is it hard to talk about?

[lilcupcake]

I tend to feel annoying if i say one thing about my SO to my friends. They've accepted my LDR and don't give me crap anymore, but i still feel funny saying the smallest things. even things like "my SO told me about this show" I feel funny just saying his name to them, even to the few who never gave me crap.

I've always had a fear of becoming that friend that never shuts up about her boyfriend, but i know I DONT talk about him much so it should be okay to say something once in a while. Even when im asked about him and our relationship, all I want to say are small responses like "we're good, everythings going great." and i dont really say anything else.
I'm a bit of an introvert (which is why i love you guys so much <3) and i dont like talking about my life in great detail. i also think having gotten a lot crap makes it hard still. Do you guys think I'll ever be comfortable telling people real details about my relationship? I would like to, I'm really happy and I would like to share that with my friends...

Have you guys ever faced this problem?

[cuban_girl]

I know exactly how u feel, I went true the same cituation with some of my friends, who will only fill my head with stupid ideas. Yes telling ppl how you really feel is the best idea specially if you are happy, it's not a crime to be happy in a relationship....... And I do believe that you don't say much because you are afraid of getting crap every time you say something about ur SO. Find new friends who you can talk 2 open and freely about ur cituation, if they ar going true the same thing even better because they will understand and not fill your head with things that are not going to help at all. Hope it helps and Good Luck

[mellif]

Maybe before getting into the real details, you should start with a funny story between you and your SO; nothing gets people interested like a good laugh. And it'll feel more comfortable for you to open up once they get a more general idea of what kind of person your SO is. This has helped me introduce my relationship to quite a few people I know.

[lilcupcake]

Thanks! one of my best friends (josh) was giving me more crap than anyone. and he stopped once he got into an LDR himself *rolls eyes* so now he listens when i say something, but doesn't say much back about it... I know he was giving me a lot crap because we have a brother/sister relationship, and he's seen me get hurt a lot and an LDR is an easy way to get hurt. but in the beginning i was trying to tell him more about my SO, and just stopped because i was sick of feeling bullied...

I'll try to find a story that's not an inside joke or a "you had to be there" kind of thing haha. thanks for the advice!

[squeeker]

Yes! I definitely have felt like this before. I am definitely an introvert too and I get scared that my friends would get annoyed with me if I started talking about my boyfriend too much. I didn't want to become one of those girls either. But then I started realizing that if I talked about him more, then they could sort of get to know him through me.. and it's the best we can do since he isn't here with me and therefore couldn't hang out with them with me.

I try to limit my relationship talk to if they say something and it reminds me of something my Chris and I have talked about, I'll share it, or sometimes my friend will actually ask me how he is doing. I get stuck on that one sometimes too, and end up just saying something like "He's doing pretty good I think." I like the times I have been able to share a story or share something he's done.. or going to do. But I try to limit the talking because most of the time if I hang out with any of them, it's my friend who is currently single so I don't want to make her feel bad or anything. But I am trying to speak more about my relationship with my family and friends, because I guess I started to realize that this way they could be more supportive because they can see it's going good and what kind of a person he is!

I think it's nice that your friend Josh is in a LDR now too and so then he can be more supportive of your relationship. I know it was kinda funny one time a year or two ago, I was hanging out with a couple friends and we all were in relationships at this time. My one friend made a comment how when she went to visit her boyfriend, she had to make a "day trip" out of it cause he lived pretty much half an hour away. And then the other friend mentioned how she and her boyfriend were separated by a long drive to the next province over. And then I had to speak up and say how I had to fly to see my boyfriend. It was kind of funny.. showed how long distances were hard no matter the distance. :P

Anyways good luck trying to bring it up! Let it come up naturally, it can be easier that way.. like if your friend mentions something and it reminds you of your SO.. that's a great place to start. Or try and think of something you were talking about with your SO and bring it up.. some interesting fact you learned together or something!! Good luck!

[CanadianGirl]

Yeah, I don't really talk about my relationship to friends outside of really general things or to answer a specific question ("We're doing pretty great!" "The trip was fun, we did x, y and z"). I don't really discuss personal things with most friends, but I do confide in two close ones from time to time.

The one friend who lives in the same city as me, she's asked plenty of questions and she's seen the effort I've put into it. I think she's come to understand that it's a legitimate relationship and that we love each other. She also has a couple other friends also in LDRs, so it's not completely alien. The second friend, I meet up with her maybe 2-3 times a year, and even just last week during our coffee date, she brought up that she remembers how weird it was for her (4 years after the fact!). How she still doesn't really know him (.-. ...), but she sees that it's lasted a long time and that it makes me happy. I tried not to get too annoyed, since she hasn't really been around to see the changes in me, but it's tiring to get told my relationship is "weird". I just laugh it off, since it doesn't actually change anything.

Mostly, I just stick to talking about it on the forums. In real life, I'll bring it up if it's relevant to a discussion my friends are having.

[piratemama]

Yes! I get this. Even with my friends that are okay with my LDR, I still feel uncomfortable talking about my SO. It's easier with my family, though. My friends haven't met my SO yet, so that may make a difference. It's not that I'm not proud of him, because I am and I can't wait to show him off to them.

[differentcountries]

I think it is different when people have met them, or at least seen lots of pictures, talked on Skype or similar. I remember from my one friend 's LDR that I did not quite get it when my friend talked about her. It was too abstract for me that they met online and had never met. But then I saw pics of them together (their first meeting) and it made more sense to me. Eventually me and my husband got to see her and we loved her. It is about getting to know someone. If someone talked repetedly about a friend they had but did not help me understand what this person was like and I had never met them, I would not be interested in that person. I believe the same goes for LDR's.

[BagOfPenguins]

For me it's different, because I'm the one who's not there, my friends all know my SO and they hang out sometimes and stuff. And here in Korea, everyone seems to be really curious about my SO, in fact "boyfriend" was on of the first korean words I was able to remember. I think in this case it really has to do with the culture here.

[TooFarAway]

Maybe before getting into the real details, you should start with a funny story between you and your SO; nothing gets people interested like a good laugh. And it'll feel more comfortable for you to open up once they get a more general idea of what kind of person your SO is. This has helped me introduce my relationship to quite a few people I know.

LOL I do this too all the time. It works <3
I always tell funny things that happen between me and my bae. You gotta say it confidently and brag a little of how awesome your SO is xD
And I guess when I talk about my SO my friends see that I'm really truly happy >u< My eyes light up and I smile way too big lmao. I think that's what you should do
If you show how much fun you are having and how happy you are with your long distance boyfriend who are they to judge <3

[Sora1101]

I'm like this too although I think it's just because I'm under the impression that my relationship doesn't really "count" to my friends. They've never said anything like that before but I feel like every time I bring up a situation in which he was involved they just kind of give generic responses. I've just learned to deal with it.

[differentcountries]

I think it also has to do with how often you yourself meet your so or how much time you spend together. Because people who have not experienced it may be less interested in screen Exchange. on the other hand, pictures of the two of you or stories of what you did together may interest them more.

[jana89]

I mostly talk about my SO just with my best friends who even met him in person and they were with me from the very beginning. With them it comes naturally, we are together, they talk about their bfs and I do about my. With other people I don´t usually talk about anything specific or more detailed, since many of them were quite rude about my relationship in past.

[xanzbarr]

I dont get out a lot since I watch my mom who has Alzheimers, but she has gotten to the point where she asks about him and how he's doing. He had the flu really bad recently and she was worried about him too. So I guess hes been "accepted" by Mom. other than that i have a cpl friends I havent told about him yet. I need to get to that, but somehow the days just sneak away from me.

[lilcupcake]

I've never directly told my mom im in an LDR,or a relationship at all. she's never been interested in that part of my life, but i know she knows. she just doesnt really care, because the way she sees it is that im young and there will always be a next one -_-

We havent met in person, so i don't have many stories i can tell or pictures of the two of us together :/ my friend brandon is the easiest to talk to, because he really listens and is interested. He's also the only one who has ever asked me how we're doing lol. Last night i saw my friend who i havent really hung out with since the beginning of our relationship, and she saw his picture on the background of my phone and said "oh, you have a new guy?" that was so awkward. i just said "nope, same one." lol