So, this isn't really a specific situation nor is it entirely centered around LDR's, but I do feel it's vital to pretty much all relationships so I'd like to get your thoughts on it.
I think many of us have heard the whole rule of 'self love' in one form or another, and how the most important person for us to love first is ourselves. I can see the reasoning behind it but I think actually applying it to real life can be difficult if not impossible for some people. I honestly don't think everyone is capable of even partially accepting themselves and that's just the way it i. However, as I feel that it's starting to badly effect my relationship, it's something I've been thinking about more about as of late.
For me, the reason I can't love myself completely is purely because of my body shape. Yes, a rather vain thing to admit to and not nearly so noble sounding as some other people who have been through genuine traumas that cause them the inability to accept themselves for who they are, but plain and honest, that would be my reason.
I won't give any numbers, weights or measurements as I think they're useless when trying to find help on this type of subject. It's so easy for some well-meaning reader to take the numbers, type them into some calculator and leave a simple, 'Oh! Your BMI is perfectly fine, stop worrying!' or, 'Just cut back on the junk food and have smaller portions, trust me, eating healthier will make you feel alot better'. Yes. Thank you. I have struggled with my body shape for more than enough years now to know where I stand on all those charts, to know how to exercise and what to eat. Plain and simple, for every single body out there, there are just some things that cannot be naturally changed without going to unhealthy extremes. And I'm not posting this subject asking for tips on how to lose weight/tone muscle/clear my skin/wash my hair or anything of the sort. That's not what this thread is about. I'm asking if anyone else has ever struggled with learning to love themselves for who they and if you've possibly overcome this battle aside from the ol' 'Tell yourself you're beautiful every day' mantra.
I try not to let my personal loathing of my body creep too much into my conversations with my bf, but more and more latey that has been growing difficult, especially as we become more intimate on different levels and my anxiety usually causes me to snap out at him. As he's not physically here to really show me how much he loves my body, it's difficult for me to trust in his words when I feel so strongly about myself in the complete opposite direction. I know there's no miracle cure out there to give someone that much needed self confidence that everyone is always talking about, but I figure it couldn't hurt to post and ask around anyway.
I think many of us have heard the whole rule of 'self love' in one form or another, and how the most important person for us to love first is ourselves. I can see the reasoning behind it but I think actually applying it to real life can be difficult if not impossible for some people. I honestly don't think everyone is capable of even partially accepting themselves and that's just the way it i. However, as I feel that it's starting to badly effect my relationship, it's something I've been thinking about more about as of late.
For me, the reason I can't love myself completely is purely because of my body shape. Yes, a rather vain thing to admit to and not nearly so noble sounding as some other people who have been through genuine traumas that cause them the inability to accept themselves for who they are, but plain and honest, that would be my reason.
I won't give any numbers, weights or measurements as I think they're useless when trying to find help on this type of subject. It's so easy for some well-meaning reader to take the numbers, type them into some calculator and leave a simple, 'Oh! Your BMI is perfectly fine, stop worrying!' or, 'Just cut back on the junk food and have smaller portions, trust me, eating healthier will make you feel alot better'. Yes. Thank you. I have struggled with my body shape for more than enough years now to know where I stand on all those charts, to know how to exercise and what to eat. Plain and simple, for every single body out there, there are just some things that cannot be naturally changed without going to unhealthy extremes. And I'm not posting this subject asking for tips on how to lose weight/tone muscle/clear my skin/wash my hair or anything of the sort. That's not what this thread is about. I'm asking if anyone else has ever struggled with learning to love themselves for who they and if you've possibly overcome this battle aside from the ol' 'Tell yourself you're beautiful every day' mantra.
I try not to let my personal loathing of my body creep too much into my conversations with my bf, but more and more latey that has been growing difficult, especially as we become more intimate on different levels and my anxiety usually causes me to snap out at him. As he's not physically here to really show me how much he loves my body, it's difficult for me to trust in his words when I feel so strongly about myself in the complete opposite direction. I know there's no miracle cure out there to give someone that much needed self confidence that everyone is always talking about, but I figure it couldn't hurt to post and ask around anyway.
I love his sarcasm and the way we can "cut up," as he calls it, and how if he's teasing me and I threaten to leave him, he always responds with, "Really? If I'd have known it was that easy to get rid of you, I'd have done that a long time ago." He really is the perfect counter-balance to me and keeps me humble, too. I still have insecurities, and even though I know it's not going to happen, I sometimes neurotically worry that he'll just up and dump me, like the others. I just have to trust him, and I do. But like everything else, it can be hard.
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