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Is this the right thing to do?

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    Is this the right thing to do?

    My SO just went back to her walk place thousand miles away from me last week. but about 4 weeks ago, i saw a message on her phone, a message that made me really angry and like tore my heart. We are in a relationship for 8 years now and we just got engaged when she came back for her vacation last month. I asked her who was that in the messaging application in her phone, she said it was the fiancee of her friend and it was not her account. I was really angry and i can see in her face that she is really scared, in fact she even cried twice, and asked her why she cried and she said that she got afraid because i was really mad and that might be the end of our long time relationship. out of my anger, i did not bother to see the messages again, she said it was a long story, so i just asked her to just delete it. but that issue still bothers me for a couple of weeks. But during her whole stay here for her vacation, i didnt feel any strange things, I mean, she is still sweet to me, its like nothing has changed. and after that incident while i was lying on her thigh she cried, i asked her again why are you crying, she answered, because i love you so much.then at night when we talked over the phone, she said to me " Please just trust me, i love you so much, i will marry you and i still got a lot of plans for us in the future." she even sent me a message late that night saying ",thank you for coming into my life, pls whatever happens, always stand strong for us, i may not be perfect, but one thing is for sure, my love for you is pure". so clearly and i know that she really loves me that much. in the first place, she even accepted my engagement, and her whole family and relatives really accepted me, she even said why would she do such thing, being in a relationship for 8 years and right now we got engaged and her whole family really likes me. she said just trust her and she doesnt want to talk about things like that again. Now my question is, I know the right thing to do now is fortget everything had happened and just go on with what we are right now, right? i mean, we are happy now and we have no problems. pls help. :'(
    Last edited by Loving Her Always; January 22, 2014, 07:25 AM.

    #2
    This reminds me of a thread from a couple months about a member being upset about his or her SO letting another person use their phone to send text messages...and like then, I keep thinking, who does that? Now, I'm not saying your SO is lying but to me, it's odd. Now you just have to decide if you trust and believe her or not. If you choose to trust her, you then have to move on. There is no point in bringing it back up and making her feel bad about it, especially if what she is saying is true. That's just how I see it, though. Good luck.

    "True love isn't about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated."
    Married April 18th, 2015!!
    Distance Closed October 4th, 2015!!

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      #3
      Yes you are right, its up to me, but now, so far, as what am I seeing in our relationship, nothing odd is happening, I mean,I didn't even felt like she is falling out for me, we had a wonderful vacation while she is here. and I thought of trying to find out if it is really true, but i said to myself, i believe in her, and if i do that and she finds out, i know for sure she will really be mad and might left me for not trusting her, which is not true, I trust her the way I love her. Thank you so much, I know that I just have to forget what had happened and move on, and instead of still bringing that up which happened 4 weeks ago, instead of letting her feel that im sad or what, what I will do is ill just let her feel special always and that I am happy, so that everything will be alright. right?
      Last edited by Loving Her Always; January 22, 2014, 06:02 AM.

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        #4
        If you truly believe her and she's never done anything else for you not to trust her, than you should give her the benefit of the doubt. If you over think it, you'll drive yourself crazy and over analyse everything in the relationship, you know?

        "True love isn't about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated."
        Married April 18th, 2015!!
        Distance Closed October 4th, 2015!!

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          #5
          Yes , i hear you. you are right, from now on i should remove all the negative things in my mind, which is i believe is not true, because i never felt anything odd n her treatment with me, she is always cheerful and cuddle or being sweet from time to time. i should give her and myself a chance. we have to go on with what we have right now. we are ok, and everything is fine, and that our love for each other is still the same.

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            #6
            Eh...all the crying and professing of love makes me think she's not telling the truth.



            Met online: 1/30/11
            Met in person: 5/30/12
            Second visit: 9/12/12
            Closed the distance: 1/26/13!!!

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              #7
              you are entitled to your opinion, i thought of that, but then i also considered the fact of her teratment to me. like is there anything has change or what. so far nothing has changed, she is still the same. because you know, when 2 person loves each other, they will feel different even if one of them will doesn't say anything. so far all i felt was she is still the same and nothing has changed.

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