Is it normal to get annoyed and fustrated

[itsjen516]

Since I came back from my visit with my fiancé I been really annoyed and fustrated I miss him a lot and I just feel it's been harder.
I'm trying so hard to not get angry but I find my self becoming that way sometimes. Another thing is now with planning a wedding it's making me really stressed and I just want things done !! The biggest thing for me is finding a church he keeps saying "it's whatever it's up to you" but when we tried to do it my way he didn't agree. So it's not "whatever" and he's not being helpful,
Finally we are coming to more of an agreement but it still bugs me! I know there is only so much he can do but at least give me ideas,
Lucky for us we don't fight but we just seem to get more annoyed but can talk it out. He's one to keep his feelings in so I sometimes don't know what he's thinking. I just know he's been a little quiter and I keep asking "did I do something can you just tell me if I'm doing something wrong or what you may not like" but all he says is your fine
Last night I finally let it all out how I been feeling about everything that I'm just stressed with the wedding and missing him but I don't think he really gets it.
I'm just sometimes scared to say the wrong thing and that he will brake off the wedding that's my biggest fear. Again we don't fight and can talk like at a regular tone explaing eveything but I can't help but be scared that he might call it off if I get to annoying


Have you ever felt this distance frustration

[Photonut]

Guys are kind of naive to emotions sometimes You need to be blunt in telling him how you're feeling and what you need from him. Also, I get that after visiting its painful for a while, but please stop taking it out on him. I get that its hard, trust me I used to get upset as well but he's there to comfort you. You're getting married!! I get that planning can be stressful but you should be excited and happy! Tell him that you would love it if he'd have more input into the wedding planning Also, a lot of guys just don't know about weddings so they let the girl plan all of it lol.

[itsjen516]

I know your right I'm just scared me saying I miss him will annoy him. I never want issues and though he Tells me "your fine babe I love you don't worry" I just never wanna hurt him but Idk why I been so stressed and fustrated ;(

[dglynn77]

Ok.
1. If you are worried he will break off the wedding due to silly disagreements, are you sure you even want to marry him? If he would call off a wedding over silly disagreements he will call off a marriage over silly disagreements, making the wedding useless. (I am absolutely not trying to be mean here. That was just my first thought ready your post.)
2. I just got married, and while planning our wedding (less than 3 months to plan) my fiancé would say "however you want it" and "I don't care" but when I told him my plans he would say he didn't really like that. I found that he had more opinions about the wedding than I assumed, and finally I would say "I'm doing X, Y, Z, unless you give me a better idea or something you want more." That either would prompt him to tell me what he wanted, or he would have to agree with my original plans. That way it wasn't me constantly telling him what we are doing, or him just telling me.
Another thing is, after many "discussions" about our wedding, I asked him what part of the wedding mattered most to him. He said the food. I then put him completely in charge of the food and menu, and then I took care of the rest. I did some things with our wedding that weren't super conventional, but he was pretty good natured about it as he got to plan his favorite part so maybe one of those suggestions willl help you?

Also, you are the bride, and YOU are being stuck with the majority of the work, so be kind to yourself and make sure YOU are happy with your wedding.

[differentcountries]

Trust me, you can not say the wrong thing. Since he is not used to/have the personality to state his opinion, he is obviously expecting you to read his mind. You will just have to keep up coming with suggestions until he agrees to one.

[itsjen516]

I know you didn't wanna sound mean your fine and yes I 100% want to marry him I'm just those people who worry over everything !!!! So it's just me having one of
My very many anxiety attacks.

Since I never planned anything in my life I'm freaking out. Honestly the biggest thing I ever planned before was getting a few friends to meet in the city to see a musical lol I'm as simple as it can be ! So that's why I'm so over wellmed
Cuz I'm not used to it
Also I'm PMSing really bad LOL so I'm monster Jen this week

[NavyWife]

My fiancé and i have been engaged for a month and together for almost 8 years. We also never fight, instead we talk it out. I understand your wedding frustrations! My conclusion is, we are eloping! After deciding that my stress level went down majorly! Also, it kind of forces him to be apart of the decisions as far as where and when. That and it's hard to plan a wedding over the phone :/ The decision to elope, for us, was easy because he doesn't really have a lot of family and i do. Even though my family becomes his, i still see it as unfair. I don't know what your situation is as far as family but, just giving you ideas So, we are just taking another couple as witnesses and escaping to the 1000 islands! (We have been there before and love it, if you ever get a chance to go and like camping) I wouldn't worry about him getting very annoyed with you and calling it off, theres a reason he wants to marry you. I don't believe a little annoyance will change that. Best of luck!

[itsjen516]

Sorry I can't direct reply lol it's so annoying on my phone ?
But your right I just worry to much cuz in my life I had so much go wrong that now one little thing freaks me out you know

[differentcountries]

No I did not mean to sound mean, just got the impression he is a bit like my so and that is how I do it. I bet the whole wedding thing is a bit overwealming, too. And he might feel drawn between leaving it to you and having his say, too. If he feels it is hard to seperate the alternatives he might not even know how he feels until you say something. I would say cut him some slack. I am sure he cares for you and indeed want to marry you. No person is perfect and you don't have to be. Perhaps you can give him some boundries, like a time limit to say how he feels about a choice.

[piratemama]

Stress is normal in an LDR and in planning a wedding. Your emotions will do a roller coaster ride. Accept it and embrace it, if you can. I think it's good that you talk with your SO about your feelings and ask for feedback. The idea that dglynn77 had about sharing a task with her husband is excellent. Maybe you could do that?

It will all come together soon. Keep telling yourself that.

[itsjen516]

thanks everyone we had a small issue but its ok now and eveything is back to normal
it went on WAY to long and it was really stressful but we talked everything out and we are back to normal