Validating Emotions - Possibly the solution to chronic fighting

[Kitten_mittens]

I found this article and thought it was an amazing read.. I shared it with my SO in hopes that he may learn to validate my emotions more and I plan on doing my best to make sure his emotions are validated as well. I think it may well be the solution to our chronic fighting. I am emotionally sensitive and require more validation than some people and I can tell he's not used to it. I hope he is willing to try to be better at it.

Maybe it might help someone here as well? I think we could all learn something from it.

“There’s a common denominator in our human experience. Most of us, I tell you, we don’t want to be divided… What we want is to be validated. We want to be understood.” ~Oprah

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...ate-acceptance

[piratemama]

I've got to reread this article later; it's excellent. The tips in it could help with any kind of relationship. I see how it applies here on this forum, too. Many of us come here to be validated, and we get upset when we are invalidated. I see this forum as a place where we can be (as the article mentions) present with one another, being virtually present and listening with our whole minds, trying to hear and read between the lines, and trying to understand the deeper reasons for statements and emotions. I love the quote in the article: "Validation is never about lying. Or agreeing. It's about accepting someone else's internal experience as valid and understood." I love this point for all relationships, including this forum. It's too easy to think my way is the only right way, but someone else's way isn't wrong - it's neither right or wrong - it's just what it is. One of the best feelings in the world is to be understood.

I hope this article can help you and your SO, Kitten mittens. Thanks for sharing. I'm going to study the article some more.

[Kitten_mittens]

I've got to reread this article later; it's excellent. The tips in it could help with any kind of relationship. I see how it applies here on this forum, too. Many of us come here to be validated, and we get upset when we are invalidated. I see this forum as a place where we can be (as the article mentions) present with one another, being virtually present and listening with our whole minds, trying to hear and read between the lines, and trying to understand the deeper reasons for statements and emotions. I love the quote in the article: "Validation is never about lying. Or agreeing. It's about accepting someone else's internal experience as valid and understood." I love this point for all relationships, including this forum. It's too easy to think my way is the only right way, but someone else's way isn't wrong - it's neither right or wrong - it's just what it is. One of the best feelings in the world is to be understood.

I hope this article can help you and your SO, Kitten mittens. Thanks for sharing. I'm going to study the article some more.

Thanks for the positive response =] I'm glad you like it as much as I do. I truly feel it could solve so many problems.
And I agree about it helping this forum.
I'll be reading it a second time and maybe typing up a summery to place on my fridge next to the worry tree. =]