An interesting day - just had a text off my special guy telling me that his expected departure date (for five months in China) has been put back from next week until mid-February! My initial reaction was: 'yeah, another ten plus days', but (after a couple of glasses of celebratory wine admittedly!), I'm not so sure it's a good thing. 
I've spent the last week - and a thousand thanks to the wonderful people who have read and replied to my tearful posts! - in bits, dealing with the 'last day at work', the 'last possible evening/dinner together' (now postponed from tonight), and preparing myself for next week's flight out - and now I have to go through it all again!! It's like a rollercoaster of desperate lows (he's going) (he's going soon) and brief, amazing highs (he's staying for a few more days - does this even matter?? - what difference does a few days (in which I may or may not see him) make??) - I'm emotionally exhausted!! :/
On the positive side, it may mean he's there for only four and a half months (not sure yet, but does that make a real difference??), but it also delays my 'getting used to him not being here' phase of the process of missing him - damn the organisation organising this!! I'm also toying with advice from my counsellor and friends to 'stop waiting for him to do things / make decisions' and make my own (possibly before he comes back) - seems like a sensible idea, but I love the guy and that should mean that he's at the heart of my decisions shouldn't it?? Or if I can make decisions without accounting for him (his needs/wants) then do I really love him?? Just putting that out there - I know I do and just how much.
Anyway, regardless of whether/when I see him, I'm just absolutely loving the fact that he'll be 'down the road' for another ten or so days - how sad is that? - but it seriously made my day (small mercies)!!
(A happy for a bit longer yet..) El xx
I've spent the last week - and a thousand thanks to the wonderful people who have read and replied to my tearful posts! - in bits, dealing with the 'last day at work', the 'last possible evening/dinner together' (now postponed from tonight), and preparing myself for next week's flight out - and now I have to go through it all again!! It's like a rollercoaster of desperate lows (he's going) (he's going soon) and brief, amazing highs (he's staying for a few more days - does this even matter?? - what difference does a few days (in which I may or may not see him) make??) - I'm emotionally exhausted!! :/
On the positive side, it may mean he's there for only four and a half months (not sure yet, but does that make a real difference??), but it also delays my 'getting used to him not being here' phase of the process of missing him - damn the organisation organising this!! I'm also toying with advice from my counsellor and friends to 'stop waiting for him to do things / make decisions' and make my own (possibly before he comes back) - seems like a sensible idea, but I love the guy and that should mean that he's at the heart of my decisions shouldn't it?? Or if I can make decisions without accounting for him (his needs/wants) then do I really love him?? Just putting that out there - I know I do and just how much.
Anyway, regardless of whether/when I see him, I'm just absolutely loving the fact that he'll be 'down the road' for another ten or so days - how sad is that? - but it seriously made my day (small mercies)!!
(A happy for a bit longer yet..) El xx
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