break up?

[maja]

so heres the deal, his stupid friend is sstill staying at his, we did however get to ttalk and he said im extremely wrong in thinking he didnt/doesnt care about me being sick and in hospital, but while in portugal he didnt want me to have such high fone bills and now he pretty much said its my fault we dont get to talk really cos i dont wanna call when hes around other people alll the time etc.
I really do love him, but i just cant do this anymore, he really does seem extremely uncaring and unloving atm and i really cant take it anymore, ive been missing him like crazy and still am and puts me down so much he never has time, even when i really need him. He says i dont believe in his love enough and that i always get angry at him which is not exactly true, i might be a bit bitchy and easy to annoy but simply because im sick, i mean i would know if im angry at him wouldnt i? Im just disappointed and sad
i feel like we are losing each other and that its over pretty much..
I love him like crazy still and i dont wanna hurt him, but it just doesnt feel right anymore
The problem is, even if i break up with him, i still have flights booked for the second week of october and i cant cancel them and get the money back, and its a 120 euros i couldve then used and needed otherwise, i dont just wanna waste that money :S
but on the other hand i cant wait for another month and then spend time with him if things dont change, and i fear they wont

Id be happy about any input on this..

[Karringtyn]

Have you tried to tell him exactly how you feel? I see it has been over a year you have been together....that is a lot of time invested...and you said you love him...Just be sure this is what you heart wants and you aren't doing it out of sheer frustration when it's something that can be fixed...

[Silviar]

I think that he's being unreasonable, and I don't think you deserve to be treated that way. It's disrespectful, imho.

I can't tell you if you should break up or not, but I do have a suggestion for the tickets - lots of times they'll let you cancel and put the ticket costs towards a different trip - can you do that? Then maybe you could have a nice vacation for yourself later in the year, if you do decide to break up.

[maielle]

I agree with Karringtyn. It's not a good idea to break up immediately. This could be solved by having a conversation about your relationship, your expectations, your plans for the future and the reality of what you two feel.

Of course it depends on both of you. If you both want to fix the situation you should tell what you expect from a bf/gf. E.g. that you care for each other when one is sick and you talk at least once a week or something. And both should be prepared to make compromises but not all the time.

But only after talking you can really know what he thinks. LDR is stressful and it of course might be that when he's hanging out with the friend he starts to think that there might be an easier way to have a gf. Someone who lives closer. But you can't know until you talk about it.

[loveonspeedial]

Phone calls aren't the only way to talk, and if you don't want high phone bills, i'm not sure if you're in america or not but if you are METRO PCS is a phone company that does really cheap unlimited international calls, along with unlimited local,long distance and text for like 50 dollars. If you're not in America, my parents are living in Europe and they use phone cards, it's a few dollars for a couple of hours. Don't be afraid to call whe he's around friends, it looks better if you call then him being rude and calling you, if his phone rings he can always say excuse me and anwer the phone.

emails, facbeook all that stuff that you can use to talk. start sending him messages from eyejot.com I se nd them to my gf all the time and she loves them (they're video messages u can record) send letters etc. My so and I were fighting like crazy but when we got to close the distance for a visit everything got better.

[paulawriteslove]

I think you two need to talk this out before making any sudden moves. There are other ways to talk other than the phone, and if his friend are with him all the time that's something that you two will need to work out. You two should set aside 'us time'.

[maja]

well i dont have my laptop atm and can only access the internet from my fone, so no skype or anything, and talking on the fone isnt much of a problem as long as hes in germany still.
It was just when he was on holiday in portugal and i hospital that he didnt wanna call and cba to go to the next internet cafe place thing to talk to me
ive tried talking to him and it seemms he just doesnt care enough to leave the room for just a couple of minutes to talk to me

[Mio]

I'm sorry you are going thru this, and I hope you are able to make a wise decision soon. About being insensible, sometimes all of us can be like that, and don't even realize it, and we can hurt our parteners because of this. So my 2 cents are, just talk with him, explain him how you feel, what you think is a point to work on together in the relationship, ask him where he see himself, in or out? Honesty is key. Best wishes girl!

[milaya]

I also suggest that you first tell him how you feel and what bothers you.
Because like Mio above me said, we can all be insensible at times and even without realizing it.
I know I have been, especially recently, but my SO and I talked about it and I realized I had put him through too many negative emotions the past 3 weeks.

So, I think your SO deserves to hear your point of view, so he has a chance to change or so that the two of you at least can get it talked through. You shouldn't rush a decision of breaking up, if you're not completely sure.
Sounds like you still have strong feelings for him, so the most important thing is that you don't do something you'll regret.