Should I be upset?

[TexastoFinland]

I'm going to play the devil's advocate here. My friends are really important to me and if a guy were to give me an ultimatum to choose between them than that would be a huge red flag for me, or even a deal-breaker. If it is a close friend that she hasn't seen for so long, then I think it is normal she is excited. Yes, meeting your family is important, but it is also a lot of pressure, and meeting her friend would be fun and relaxing.
If you do talk to her about it, I would advise against attacking her on this.

I disagree. When I go to Finland to visit my SO he gets irritated if I want to spend time with my friends. He cleared his schedule and prepared to see me. WE are trying to build something and when you are trying to do that you gotta sacrifice. When we see each other he doesn't see his friends either. If she cares about your feelings at all she will understand and try to accommodate. The first time my SO told me that seeing my Finnish friends when I'm there bothered him, he said I could invite them to our house. Maybe that's a compromise to invite her friend to your family gathering or just a night for the three of you? Anyway, wouldn't you want to get to know her friends too? My SO let us girls cook together and shop..oh and Sauna so we had time to visit and he felt better. I hope you find a compromise. You wanting to see her every chance you get isn't a red flag... well maybe for Finns (No offense Diva)

[OperaDiva]

You wanting to see her every chance you get isn't a red flag... well maybe for Finns (No offense Diva)

I am not Finnish and yes, if my SO were trying to control who I see then that would be a definite red flag for me. Maybe it is a question of priorities, and if that is the case I am happy that my SO and I agree that spending time with friends (even if it means not spending every minute together) is important. To each their own I suppose, and I think the OP appreciates having different perspectives on this.

[daveandolga]

Is this on your dime?

That was just a curious question.

I have to say that, you being here discussing this shows that you're not out to "control" who she sees but yes...as a person who goes to great lengths to make sure you have time off, activities to do, plans in place and a schedule to be met...I would be a bit annoyed as well if, after all that effort, I was being brushed off for a "friend".

I agree with another comment that if this friend is that much of a "priority" then she should be making more of an effort, outside of your dedicated time together, to see her friend.

Lastly and most importantly...I completely agree with the comment that you would come out looking like the hero if you could somehow have her friend included in your plans. Not entirely but enough that she can see her friend (how considerate of you) and you get to spend all your time together.

If she is not comfortable with that then I would question motives.

That's my input. Thanks for listening. Good luck.

[bethyylovee]

I would be upset, too, but most likely she hasn't even thought it wouldn't be okay for her to do that. I'm very selfish with my time with Stephen since it's so limited. When I'm in Cali, I don't want him going off and leaving me to hangout with friends. I understand that she hasn't seen this friend in a while, so she might just be really excited for the chance. Maybe talk to her and see if she'd be willing to let you come along and meet this friend?

[Photonut]

I can really understand both sides to this. She hasn't seen her close friend for years and this is probably her only opportunity but then again you invited her to spend time with you and your family. Once when I was planning to visit my SO, I really wanted to see one of my friends too that I had for a long time. The difference was that I talked to my SO about it first before making plans. Did she do this with you? Also, I made sure we all hung out together so my SO and I would not lose any time together and i'd still get to see my friend. We ended up making a double date out of it since she brought her SO along too.

Talk to her about how its making you feel, i'm sure you could come to a compromise

[Maxattack]

Is this on your dime?

Most likely, no it will not be on my dime. But this is also something I did factor in. Obviously I have less "control" (for lack of better words) or maybe influence on the decision of spending all her time with me.

For everyone else's comments. I really do appreciate all of your responses and perspectives on the issue. Honestly, I'm just a really sensitive guy who tends to over think things. I believe there is a fundamental misunderstanding on both of our priorities and it is most likely her over excitement of being able to see her friend that just sparked my being upset over the situation. I will definitely talk to her more about what her plans are and my own concerns.

Ultimately, I will support her in seeing her friend; I have no qualms with her seeing her. (I do really like your comment Zephii about supporting her) I do have the expectation for her to spend most if not the whole weekend with me because I really want my family to get to know her because soon enough SHE will be my family. I suppose another reason I'm a little upset (or maybe just sad) is that I'm really looking forward to "showing her off" to my family because I am totally in love with this girl and I'm just really proud of having someone like her by my side, if you get what I'm saying?

Thanks again ya'll!