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Doubt =/

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    #1

    Doubt =/

    Ok so my parents hate my relationship, banned me from travelling to see him, and are constantly saying our relationship is nothing more than a penpal situation. Today I tried to convince my mom that we were an actual couple, and that unless you're in a LDR, you will never understand the connection between two people that is WAY beyond just phyiscal.

    Now I'm only 16, which as much as I hate to admit it, is young to be in a serious commitment such as an LDR, but I feel like I'm mature enough to make my own decisions in relation to my heart.

    The problem I'm currently facing is that, my parents are placing doubt in my mind. After my talk with my mom which ended as, 'You barely saw eachother during the summer, and it's because he was making excuses as to not meet up with you!' My SO and I only live a train ride away, so meeting up is, although sometimes rare, a very possible option. We didn't meet up during the summer because of things happening on his part. Family things, and housework related problems and also money problems. I trust in my SO, and I find it hard to believe that if he didn't want me, he'd still be here.

    My mom basically said to me that he's lying and that I shouldn't have so much trust in this guy who probably just doesn't care.

    I'm starting to believe her. I don't want to think that he would lie to get out of meeting up with me, but sometimes I just wonder. What if he was...? I know doubt is always a problem between couples, so I was wondering if anyone here is in a similar situation, or has been? How did you survive on just blind trust..?

    I don't want us to fall apart because my parents just can not understand how our relationship works. Explaining it means nothing to them, as it seems they just want us to end and that's it.

    Please.. I just need some advice, or support or something..

    Thanks..
    Emma-Louise <3
    Although this distance breaks my heart,
    And it's unbearable when we're apart,
    I know that it will all be fine,
    As my heart is yours,
    And yours is mine.. <3
    Tags: None
    #2
    If you're honestly feeling doubt, tell him what your mom said and how the fact she's grinding it into you is getting to you. You don't believe it, but repetition does tend to stick to you.

    16 is young to be looking for anything permanent, but not too young for something serious. Yes you have growing and maturing to do, but don't we all? How else will you learn but first hand? And I'm sorry your mother's being so hurtful, that's not motherly behavior at all. My mom hates my guy, says we're an abomination, but I know if I left today to see him she would try and be supportive because she knows he makes me happy. Regardless of whether he's a friend or more, your mom should care that you're happy talking with him and being around him, not acting like she's 12.

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      #3
      Parents are usually trying to look out for you even though they sometimes have a weird way of doing it... when it comes to being in love they can not control your heart no matter how much they'd like to. It's their job to keep you safe while you're opening your heart to someone and putting yourself out there - there's a risk your heart can get broken but that's a risk everyone in love are willing to take and if the worst should happen your parents need to be there to catch you when you fall, not judge you or say "I told you so" and they should support you on the way too even though they would not always agree with you.

      Tell them you love them but you also love this guy and they can't change it. The best way of showing them LDR's can work is making it work and prove them wrong.


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        #4
        I know how that feels, my mum did that once too >_>
        I agree with LMH, just talk to him and tell him what your mom said.

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          #5
          Do not allow other people to place doubts in your mind. I am 15, my SO is 18 and we are 3500 miles apart and have been together since I was 13 so I know what you're talking about when you have doubts because of age. His parents know, mine do not and believe me, he has received nothing short of hell from his parents! The fact that people generally cannot understand unless they are in an LDR is unfourtunatlely something that has to be lived with. My friends know, because of rumours many people at school know, and my sister and her boyfriend knows. Believe me, I have received a huge amount of negative comments from people who simply cannot understand, but after a while you just learn to tune them out. Normally people shut up after I say we have been together nearly two years. All you need to do is get yourself a serious case of attitude whenever it comes to LDR discussion.

          You simply have to learn to tune out the things people say. Because my parents don't know about my SO (they know about him as a friend but nothing more), they are always pushing for me to get a boyfriend. I also don't drink and studying all the time so to them I'm just a freak =P They also make a lot of fat comments, school comments, friend comments. Just ignore it. Sorry for the language, but "Fuck 'em" is a phrase I have often had to take on. Someone thinks I'm being stupid and naive? Fuck 'em. Why should I care what they think? What do they know about my situation? What gives them the right to judge me? People are always telling me that "it's just a phase/ I'll get over it/ I should get a real boyfriend". If they distrust my judgement that fucking much then why should I spend my time with them?! Do not allow other peoples words to affect you. If you don't like what someone's said then just blank it. If someone says something you don't like, just think to yourself "What do they know about being in an LDR?!"

          If you need any further support or advice, I'm happy to help. I know how hard it is to be in an LDR as a teenager and my SO knows everything about unsupportive parents (his actually kicked him out >.<)

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            #6
            it is hard especially when parents are in disapproval. When I came across that problem, I thought of all those stories where you hear about a forbidden love. They all end with the two together, just stay in there and talk to him! Communication is always key, and don't be afraid to tell him what you are feeling. If he doesn't react how you picture, let him think for a bit.

            It is hard, but you sound mature enough. just hang in there :]

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              #7
              Like Tanja said, parents worry a lot. And it is normal. Maybe if your SO comes and visit, your parents will calm down, or at least that is how it went in my relationship.

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                #8
                Since your only 16 it's still your parents job to worry. They don't want anything bad happening to you. I think that you should prove your mom wrong and show her that you can make this LDR work

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