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Weird, just... Weird.

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    #1

    Weird, just... Weird.

    My best friend stopped talking to me about four months ago. When I told him I was moving cities to be with my SO he said "I'm going to start slowly cutting you out of my life now, so that it hurts less when you leave." I figured he was joking, but y'know. He wasn't. I've been very depressed in the last month for several reasons, one of them being the fact that my friends seem to have collectively agreed that I'm no longer worth their time now that I'm leaving.

    So a week before I leave, I send him this text. "If you'd like to catch up before I go, I leave in a week. Let me know. But otherwise... Have a lovely year."

    We caught up for the first time this morning, and my SO (who is currently staying with us) walked into the room and outright told him that because of the way he's treated me, he thinks he's an asshole. Ooh. Tense. And very awkward. Now I fully understand why my SO said this-- my friend has outright ignored me, been very late (if he's showed up at all) to anything we arrange, and just generally been a douche in the last few months. But I asked him not to say anything. It's just... Awkward. I'd already told him in the nicest way possible that I thought the way he treated me was not on.

    Anyway, my friend and I took a walk, and he essentially told me he'd been avoiding me because he'd started to like me too much. It was a creepily intense conversation, and now I'm just feeling weeeeeeird. By way of an attempt to defend my SO I explained that I've been depressed recently and part of it was to do with feeling ignored by everyone, which is why I think my SO is blaming my friend. My SO has taken off to the mall while we were on our walk, and so I'm just sitting here like
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    #2
    So it sounds like the friend liked you/had a crush on you. And that's why the friendship is ending.


    When we love, it isn't because the person's perfect, it's because we learn to see an imperfect person perfectly.

    True love does not worry about the distance between, for the heart and soul travels through one's words

    When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far, and no one can ever tear them apart.

    1 universe, 9 planets, 7 continents, 194 countries, 50 states and 10 provinces...and I had the privilege to meet you.

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      #3
      Yeah I agree with BabyGund. From what I can see, your friend probably liked you and realizes that he can't have you so that's why he's stopping talking to you. If you love your SO, I think you got to just let that friendship end because I think it's for the best. Your SO might have also been acting defensively and protectively about you from the looks of things. So I think just move with your SO and be happy with it, it sounds like that friend was not meant to be a lifelong friend as sad as that might be to you, I don't know your history.

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        #4
        Originally posted by squeeker View Post
        Yeah I agree with BabyGund. From what I can see, your friend probably liked you and realizes that he can't have you so that's why he's stopping talking to you. If you love your SO, I think you got to just let that friendship end because I think it's for the best. Your SO might have also been acting defensively and protectively about you from the looks of things. So I think just move with your SO and be happy with it, it sounds like that friend was not meant to be a lifelong friend as sad as that might be to you, I don't know your history.
        Yeah, if he wanted more than just a friendship, you'd have to let it go to protect your relationship with your SO. That is if you want your SO.

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          #5
          Aw, poor guy. He probably realized he finally could not have you and needed to break the friendship. Just let it happen, its better for him so he can let go easier.

          Comment

            #6
            Your friend definitely seems/seemed to have a crush on you and in his defense, he did the right thing by distancing himself from you. He's in a tough position.

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              #7
              i feel he may have liked you and is just hurt and dosnt wanna deal with it. this happened to me years ago to and its not cuz i wanted to cut the person out my life, i was just hurt

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                #8
                Your SO had every right to call him out on this. He was hurting you and of course your SO didn't want you to be hurt!
                Other than that I can only say your friend probably should have said something before he disappeared, because even though he has a crush on you treating you bad is not gonna help either of you get over this. I hope everything works out for you.
                Congrats on closing the distance!

                Relationship began: 05/22/2012
                First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
                Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
                Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
                Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
                Married: 1/24/2015
                Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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                  #9
                  I don't see what exactly is weird? I mean he told you that he liked you too much and had to distance himself, so that makes sense...
                  So, here you are
                  too foreign for home
                  too foreign for here.
                  Never enough for both.
                  Ijeoma Umebinyuo, Diaspora Blues

                  Comment

                    #10
                    While shedding some light as to why this perticular friend has been acting weird, it does not explain why your other friends react to you leaving by cutting you out. It is a psycological defense mecanism against pain, but it is not very mature to blame you and shutting you out from any constructive planning on how you guys can keep in contact. Have you yourself thought about how you may visit and keep in touch? I am not in favour of cutting contact with friends unless you really have to. If you care for each other it should be possable to continue to be friends (even with your poor, smitten friend now that he realized what his behaviour lately was all about).
                    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

                    Comment

                      #11
                      It's probably weird to find out your friend has a crush on you, I'd imagine. (Someone was wondering what is weird about the situation).

                      I wouldn't blame anyone, these things happen. Like the others have said you might have to cut ties/distance yourself from the guy that has a crush on you, if you don't return his feelings and want to be with your SO.

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