How do you save a LDR?

[Caligurl@heart]

Me and my SO have been together for over year now, and we have seem to find ourselves in a rut that we can't get out of. I feel like I should take most of the blame. I have always been afraid to let some guy in for the fear of having someone break once again. I've been hurt emotional many times by men in my life not just boyfriends, but just men in generally. This left a scar that has not been healed all the way. I met this amazing guy in Nov. 2012 and my heart instantly start to beat faster with each word creating a sentence. However, now I feel like I've lost him. I'll allowed my fears and doubts take our relationship hostage and I don't know if there is ever getting it back. I've hurt my SO more than I've ever wanted. I was trying to protect myself from getting hurt and ended up hurting him in return. Our relationship is hanging by fine threads and I'm have know idea what to do. I'm trying my hardest but it's true that old habits die slow. How do you save a relationship that you cause so much damage in. Or do I let him go? But how do you let go the person who holds your heart? However, with that being said I would prefer to see him happy, of course I would like to be with me, but as days go on I feel like thats less of an option.

Do any quys on here have any suggestions? I've been feelings like this for a few weeks now. I've promised to work on the fears and doubts, but I can't change over night, and I think he is tried of waiting.

[Sarah96]

Before I make suggestions, I just want to say I'm not telling you what you *should* do, I'm just going to tell you what I would do in your situation.

Anyway, I would take some time for myself. Explain to them that I love them and want to be with them but I need to figure a few things out so I can understand myself better and so I won't hurt them or the relationship anymore. It's important to understand what you want/need and take some time for yourself. Make sure you talk to them since it's important to communicate how you feel/what you need. If they love you they will understand. Also, ask them if there's anything they want you to do. Sometimes other people see things about us that we don't see, they can help us if we let them.

After taking time to yourself and figuring things out, talk to them and work on rekindling the relationship. It will take some work but it is possible.

Good luck and I hope everything works out! I wish you the best!