Help! :(

[LaydeeJx]

i have been in a long distant relationship for 5 & half years! and because we spend a lot of time on the phone we never have anything to say and its always the awkward silence! or we have nothing to say as we have talked about everything! i'm just wondering if anyone has been in the same situations as it causes arguments a lot and i don't know why but i have started getting annoyed at the slightest things :/ and its destroying my relationship when were together everything is fine and were happy its just when he goes back home all the arguments start again has anyone got any suggestions?! thanks xx

[RachelAnne]

This may not be a lot of help BUT...I think everyone has those moments where you don't know what to do. My friend has a book called "4,000 questions for getting to know anyone and everyone." It's filled with questions you can ask anybody. It's definitely a good conversation starter! It can keep you talking for hours You'll never run out of things to talk about

[LaydeeJx]

i wish it was only a one of things but its everyday this is happening :/ we are just constantly arguing and have nothing to say the only time were happy now is when were together xx

[squeeker]

Do you ever skype (or use a different video call platform like Oovoo or Google hangouts)??

I find that if you talk a lot, it is much nicer to have one of these free programs on, you can see and talk to your partner for free and you can do other things while you talk.. just do your normal things like eating, looking up things.. but then also have your couples talk.. look at the list on this site (https://www.lovingfromadistance.com/...uplestodo.html) which has so many things you could try doing together, mostly over the internet.

Try to keep in mind what you love about your partner, and try not to take out your frustrations on them.. remember they love you too so try and not force conversation. Try and think of a new topic.. maybe if you are stuck.. you could learn something together that interests you both.. or start watching a new TV show that interests you both and you can keep up with it and talk about it together.. or maybe there's a book you both like to read..

When my boyfriend and I talk, we tend to leave our webcams running and it's just like the other person is there.. we aren't talking constantly, but will talk whenever we find something interesting/want to ask the other person something.. we will talk the most when we first come online, and then usually start working on something for our uni work/studies or if we don't have to do that, then we might just research something else or look up what's happening on forums.. and share it.. it's as close as you can get to being together without actually being together.

You could also maybe schedule certain times and days to talk and prior to talking, think about a few things you want to ask them and tell them... just don't give up, it sounds like you are just in a bit of a rut.. just try and relax and remember why you love him. 5 and a half years is a long time! My boyfriend and I have only known each other for 4 1/2 years. But you can still think of things to say but don't pressure yourself to talk all the time. If you only talk on the phone, maybe try and prepare what you want to say - what happened since you last talked to him, or things you thought about since you last talked to him.. and tell him. And if you literally talk all the time, then don't worry about actually 'talking' the whole time.. but stay on the line while you do other things.. I'm not sure, I think I'm just rambling now.. I just hope something that I said here might help even a little bit? If it doesn't I'm sorry you had to read this whole thing! Good luck!

[Chris516]

i have been in a long distant relationship for 5 & half years! and because we spend a lot of time on the phone we never have anything to say and its always the awkward silence! or we have nothing to say as we have talked about everything! i'm just wondering if anyone has been in the same situations as it causes arguments a lot and i don't know why but i have started getting annoyed at the slightest things :/ and its destroying my relationship when were together everything is fine and were happy its just when he goes back home all the arguments start again has anyone got any suggestions?! thanks xx

Trying to transcend the closeness in person, to that of being long-distance, is not an easy hurdle to get over. Also, The physical distance can affect the psychological ability to communicate with the same closeness that you displayed in person.

[dragonlady]

we ran out of things to say, but we use skype alot so he is doing his thing and i am doing my thing while on chat
and he reads to me, we just grab a book and read out loud so where still together and such and probably chat about the book "where reading"

[TaraMarie]

I agree with video calling. We FaceTime for hours every night. Sometimes we are just watching tv or a movie together. Lately it's the Olympics. Sometimes I am cleaning and he is cooking. It's like we are in the same room....but 900miles apart. The ONLY THING that bugs me is when He is texting someone. I hate it in person, and I hate it over video chat. I think it is rude.

[Zapookie]

Maybe don't talk so often?? If I spoke to my SO on the phone everyday I'd probably be over it in a week. lol. When we are LD, we set up a skype date once a week. We still talk on FB everyday, however. This isn't ideal but I find that it works for us because we have so much to catch up on when we finally do have a proper chat.

[CanadianGirl]

I don't think I could talk to anyone on the phone everyday.. My SO and I skype pretty often and for 1-3 hours. We carry on doing our own things and actually talk when something interesting comes up. I really like being able to see him, exchange looks and smiles, even if it's in total silence.

If you can't do that, I agree with Zapookie, just make it a special thing every few days. Take some pressure off of the both of you.

[LaydeeJx]

I don't think I could talk to anyone on the phone everyday.. My SO and I skype pretty often and for 1-3 hours. We carry on doing our own things and actually talk when something interesting comes up. I really like being able to see him, exchange looks and smiles, even if it's in total silence.

If you can't do that, I agree with Zapookie, just make it a special thing every few days. Take some pressure off of the both of you.

thank you everyone im deffo going to try this and hopefully it will help us xx

[Photonut]

I don't think you need to spend less time together but you need to -do- more things together. Online games, take a class, etect and I also think you need to try to calm down a bit. Everybody goes through these phases, it doesn't mean anything is wrong.

[LaydeeJx]

i know everyone goes through phases but its not something that happened for a couple of months :/ its been like this for years... im not over reacting most people would have given up by now :/ were holding on by a thread...

[differentcountries]

Talk about it. Say: I miss who we were, and the good connection we had. Then suggest that you do something new/try something, weather it be a type of communication (I have grown to love Viber. It is so easy to be loving with all the wonderful emicons...) or something you "do" together online, like watching a movie or listening to music.