How do I go about handling this?

[BigMatt93]

Okay,

So everybody knows the issues I faced with my SO. Finally after months of being in a mental battle with myself and just not being happy with the direction my LDR was heading, I reached out to everybody here about what I should do to try to remedy my relationship or if I should just move on. It took me a couple more weeks of being really unhappy until I finally realized that I don't want to feel like that forever and I don't want to stay in a one sided relationship. I started distancing myself from my SO. I quit calling her at night and I quit texting her throughout the day, as well as just quit responding to her texts and sometimes I'd let them go for a day or so at a time before I responded. Finally, I realized what I was doing to her was just as wrong as what she had been doing to me throughout our relationship. One day I decided to respond to her "advances" of trying to get me to talk. I answered and I told her straight forward to the point "I CAN'T do this anymore." Well when I said this it pretty much resulted in her starting a "You manufacture and create all of your own problems" argument and after that night I just did not care to try to explain why I was unhappy anymore or why I chose to distance myself from her and ultimately just call it quits.. Well, I thought that by me saying I was done, it should of told her that it was time for her to move on and that we were done.. All it did though was create a bigger headache for me. She still texts me if not a few times a day, then a few times every other day. I ignore and delete 90% of them, but some just light a fire under my ass and I feel like I have no choice but to respond, and for the record... I know that by me doing that, it only fuels her fire to keep texting me. For the most part, I've stood my ground and just ignored her. I feel that I've said what I had to say and I told her straight to the point since there's been no change in the relationship, I was DONE. Well here we are February 14th... Valentines Day. She has been texting me ALL DAY. The first text I got was "Today is Valentines y'know.. Not that you care or anything." so I shook my head and responded "Happy Valentines...". Well after I responded with that she responded with "See, That wasn't so hard, was it?" and my reply to her was "Nope....." and we left it at that. Well about 30 minutes had gone by and SOMEHOW she decides to say "I don't understand why you've been soo mean to me, I've done nothing wrong here.." SERIOUSLY?! I mean freaking SERIOUSLY?! I said what I had to say to her weeks ago and I moved on... She still continues to try to make me feel like an asshole because she still has it in her head that we're still together even after I've made it clear as day that I'm done and that there is no more "us".


When I came downstairs to my room from working on the two 3 hour courses I had to do for class tonight, I had 3 text messages... I figured one of them might of been from a friend of mine I had texted earlier in the day.. Well I looked at the texts and they were from my Ex SO.. I don't remember what the first two said but the third text simply said "Well, Goodnight then :P" and it had the android raspberry smiley on the end of it. I seriously feel like she's starting to intentionally toy with me... I don't know what to do. I feel like she's not going to move on, nor will she leave me alone. She deleted me off of facebook weeks ago. I guess that was suppose to hurt my feelings, yet I don't quite understand her point of view... Which seems to be "Let's delete him off of facebook because that'll probably hurt him, but i'll go ahead and just keep on texting him.'

I seriously DO NOT KNOW how to be more CLEAR with her that I'm DONE and have been DONE for a LONG TIME. I'm trying to be nice about this and continue to let her down easy.. I hate to come off as a jerk... But I'm starting to feel like she's that psycho girl who just won't take no for an answer...

[Dezface]

Letting her down easy hasn't worked, so it's time to just be blunt. I would tell her one more time that the relationship is over, then drop contact. You acknowledged that you're fueling the fire by texting her back, so you need to stop.

[Riyko]

I'd recommend blocking her phone number so when she texts you, you don't get the messages (you can download a program called mr.number and block her calls/text and even block her number as spam). also for facebook if you can handle it go to her facebook page and block her that way she can't send you messages or friend requests in the future. That way maybe she'll get the hint you are over it and stop harassing you.

[emsimes]

Unfortunately, I've been in situations like this before. I don't like being blunt or mean to people, but sometimes, there's just no other option. She obviously doesn't know when to stop, and it's obviously making you uncomfortable and upset. I would just block her from your phone, Facebook, etc. so there's no way she can get in contact with you anymore. You don't even have to tell her you're going to block her....just do it and be done with it.

Most importantly, you deserve to move on from her. Good luck to you!

[TaraMarie]

Maybe I am missing something here, but I read your entire post and just didn't get the feeling that you had broken up with her. Is it possible that you DIDNT make it clear to her? Did you tell her outright "I am breaking up with you. Please don't call or text, I won't respond". If you don't respond she will tire of it. Good luck.

[Heavenly_Love12]

I agree with TaraMarie. I didn't get the feeling that you made it clear to her previously that you were breaking up with her. I think you need to just be blunt about it and then block her so that she will leave you alone. It's hard to cut off total contact with someone that you care about but it sounds like you don't care about her anymore and so it shouldn't be hard for you. Good luck.

[talim]

Well, I'm little embarassed to say that, but I acted like your ex once... I don't know why she does it, but I did it because I wasn't able to overcome the breakup and hoped there are still some feelings that I could awake with texting like nothing happened and other awkward things. But what made me stop it was when he finally told me, very bluntly, that we're really done and he doesn't want to hear from me again. Rejecting hurts a lot, but it can help her realize the truth.

[differentcountries]

Hello... you are NOT being clear with her. You sound ambivalent/like you have been fighting but might get back together. For one thing, you actually said Happy Valentine's to YOUR EX. No wonder she still thinks she has a chance. Be brutal with her. Then don't follow up with ANY response of ANY kind. If she still contacts you after this, block her.

[Photonut]

You are not making it clear to her...you need to bluntly say "WE ARE NOT TOGETHER ANYMORE" then you need to block her on everything you possibly can. You need to stop texting her back, grow a back bone!