Communication problems..

[Emily1]

well me and my boyfriend are going out for a month now and i know we shouldn't have any problems now but its not really a big problem well maybe it is. i don't really know. anyways the problem is me and my boyfriend we have 7 hours time difference so it's really hard to talk because of school and everything.. during the week we only talk for like 1 hour before he goes to school and then maybe 2 or 3 hours before i go to sleep.. during the weekend we have more time but it really bothers me that we don't talk a lot.. i know there's probably nothing to do about it but can anyone maybe try to help? if anyone ever been in this situation maybe someone can give me an advice on how to deal with it? thanks.

[Moon]

So, you talk at least 3 - 4 hours a day during the week, and you don't think that's enough?? How much do you feel you should be talking?

[maja]

Do you text during the day? (using What'sApp or something)

[Photonut]

So, you talk at least 3 - 4 hours a day during the week, and you don't think that's enough?? How much do you feel you should be talking?

Right? I'm sure most international LDRs get significantly less than that. You should be happy you get to talk to him daily and even more on the weekends!

[maja]

So, you talk at least 3 - 4 hours a day during the week, and you don't think that's enough?? How much do you feel you should be talking?

what I was wondering as well. We even live in the same country and don't talk as much as you do. At least not on average.

[differentcountries]

We have never talked as much as you do. In our Honeymoon phase the first couple of months we used to talk about 2 hours every evening (never in the morning because he started work early). And we had to stop because we have 1 hour time difference, he was working long hours every day, we were both spending time at the gym and we were just exhausted of trying to have that much contact EVERY day. We did not have any more time on the weekends because he works all week. Now we usually talk 30 min-1 hour every evening. I sometimes send him videos of me that he can watch whenever he wants. And we are fond of Viber; for sending pictures, text and emicons, we can even use it to call for free.

I guess my suggestion is; make sure to get sleep. I realize you want to talk ALL the time now, and you should ask him all kinds of things! But later on you will need to take care of the rest of your life, too. Whatever you do apart from each other can also benifit your relation, because it can be a breath of fresh air. Sometimes me and SO does not talk much, we just watch each other, like we are in the same room, or we take Skype outside, to show our surroundings. That can be sweet and bring the feeling of being very close.

If you talk 4 hours each day that is a whole lot. You don't need more. And you don't need to just talk during your time. There are lots of suggestions on the main page on how to interacct beside talking. Not all suits everybody (I coul never game with my so), but there could be som inspiration.

Good luck on getting through the wonderful 2nd month!

[lyonsgirl]

So, you talk at least 3 - 4 hours a day during the week, and you don't think that's enough?? How much do you feel you should be talking?

Dang. We LIVE together and I don't think we talk that much during the week. (Granted, I'm typically only home for 3ish hours before bedtime.)

[80anthea]

I actually don't know how people have the time to talk on the phone for that length of time during the week. How do you get on with the rest of your life.... work etc???

[Blaine]

I'm only home for 3-4 hours before it's time to hit the hay and start all over again! Sometimes even less than that when I go to the gym. Sheesh.

[imabrokendoll]

When my SO and I first reconnected we used to have hours and hours of conversation a day/night. It was as if we just couldn't get enough of each other. So I got extremely spoiled by all that, and when all of a sudden he started working longer hours and my job got me busier it was just like everything had been taken away from me. I can't tell you how bad it was and how badly I missed him. But after a while I realized that THAT was reality, that was everyday life, not the one I had been living at the beginning. At the end of the day, I just think it's the quality of the time you spend together that matters...not so much the lenght.

[Heavenly_Love12]

3-4 hours a day seems a bit extreme, especially considering your significant time difference. I think I'd run out of things to talk about with my SO after only a few days! That length of time seems like it should be more than enough and I doubt it could be maintained for long periods of time. I would suggest actually trying to cut down. I know you've just started dating but save some of that talking for later. You can do other things to spend time together and I imagine it's difficult to get much else done with talking that long. There is balance to everything and it sounds like neither of you are balancing well. I'm sure you're both sacrificing sleep, time to relax, getting school work done, etc. in order to talk to each other for that long.

Good luck with everything!

[itsjen516]

Ya that's a pretty long time I think your ok. I never talk that much ya we talk in texting but that's it and at night we sent little videos back and forth but that's like before we both go to sleep

[Emily1]

well i think we should talk a lot more..at least 5-7 hours.. besides he just told me ysterday he needs to be at school for extra 40 minutes for like 1 or 2 months so we'll only talk for 30 minutes before i go to bed:\ so its going to be worst and i have no idea what to do.

[Emily1]

we do text during the day yes.

[differentcountries]

You should try to relax a little. Most of us have 8 hours sleep, 8 hours work or school, and need 1-3 hours for things like transportation, work out and cooking /eating. What you want is all his free time, which is cute but also not realistic. People also need to pay bills, see their friends and have a little alone time...