having a really hard day

[eeelaynuh]

hi,

so my boyfriend and i have been dating for 4 1/2 months. it doesn't seem that long, but our history is incredibly rich and passionate. basically the point i'm making is, even though we have only been together for a short time, we both know that we are soul mates and plan on spending the rest of our lives together. we are going to be closing the distance for good in 2 more months but right now i'm having suuuuch a hard time!

we've been able to see each other once a month for the first 3 months, but now i haven't seen him since new years and i'm really struggling. we barely spoke today because we have different sleep schedules sometimes, and i really think that makes the days harder.


what do you guys do when you are having hard days?

[kimmidyann]

It's hard going from seeing them so often and then not having them there all of a sudden. It can seem like an eternity since you started out seeing each other at least once a month. I know what you're going through. <33

A few fun things I do when I'm ready to see my boyfriend:

1) I keep a memory jar. Every time I am having a good thought I write it down and put it in my jar. Even if it has nothing to do with my boyfriend. I know when I see him again, he's going to want to hear all about my good moments. So if I don't get the chance to talk to him often, this is a great way to do that.

2) If I know it's going to be that long, I try to surprise him with letters. For Valentine's day I sent him the worst and corniest Valentine's day cards and nothing else. He loved them. Now I just try to send him notes, coloring pages from coloring books, pictures, anything.

3) Countdown apps for phones! I love looking at my app and seeing the wait time go down! Sometimes counting makes it harder, sometimes it makes it more exciting, and other times it makes you realize how quickly time really flies.

4) Try to keep occupied with friends and things. Close friends that can offer hugs can help shed some of that missing intimacy. It won't be the same, but it will help. Keeping busy will also help keep time passing.

5) The last thing I do seems simple but isn't. Try to remember to stay strong. The longer the wait, the sweeter the kiss. It's going to make you appreciate the tiny things more. Distance sucks, but there are silver linings everywhere.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

It's hard going from seeing them so often and then not having them there all of a sudden. It can seem like an eternity since you started out seeing each other at least once a month. I know what you're going through. <33

A few fun things I do when I'm ready to see my boyfriend:

1) I keep a memory jar. Every time I am having a good thought I write it down and put it in my jar. Even if it has nothing to do with my boyfriend. I know when I see him again, he's going to want to hear all about my good moments. So if I don't get the chance to talk to him often, this is a great way to do that.

2) If I know it's going to be that long, I try to surprise him with letters. For Valentine's day I sent him the worst and corniest Valentine's day cards and nothing else. He loved them. Now I just try to send him notes, coloring pages from coloring books, pictures, anything.

3) Countdown apps for phones! I love looking at my app and seeing the wait time go down! Sometimes counting makes it harder, sometimes it makes it more exciting, and other times it makes you realize how quickly time really flies.

4) Try to keep occupied with friends and things. Close friends that can offer hugs can help shed some of that missing intimacy. It won't be the same, but it will help. Keeping busy will also help keep time passing.

5) The last thing I do seems simple but isn't. Try to remember to stay strong. The longer the wait, the sweeter the kiss. It's going to make you appreciate the tiny things more. Distance sucks, but there are silver linings everywhere.

I love your ideas! I'm going to try some of them myself, especially the happy thoughts jar.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

If you miss each other because of bedtime schedules, try leaving messages for each other before bed, so you will have something to wake up to. Send him cute, funny, or loving photos and quotes, along with your personal message, or send him stickers. Mine loves to get those from me.

One thing I don't get. You are in the same time zone. Isn't there any way you can tweak your schedule a bit so you can be together a bit before bedtime, even if it means staying up later? Or are your schedules flipped, like he works nights and sleeps days, or something?

Are you taking advantage of the technology available to you? We have so many ways to keep in touch now. Mobile phone calls and text messages, Facebook chat/video chat, Twitter, Skype calls and video calls. Those are all lifelines in a LDR. And stateside they are all free, except for the mobile calls and messages. And of course there is e-mail too.

Even as far away as we are, we have frequent contact, mainly chat and occasional Skype, and we are adding in Twitter now, too, which is good for a quick message.

[eeelaynuh]

If you miss each other because of bedtime schedules, try leaving messages for each other before bed, so you will have something to wake up to. Send him cute, funny, or loving photos and quotes, along with your personal message, or send him stickers. Mine loves to get those from me.

One thing I don't get. You are in the same time zone. Isn't there any way you can tweak your schedule a bit so you can be together a bit before bedtime, even if it means staying up later? Or are your schedules flipped, like he works nights and sleeps days, or something?

Are you taking advantage of the technology available to you? We have so many ways to keep in touch now. Mobile phone calls and text messages, Facebook chat/video chat, Twitter, Skype calls and video calls. Those are all lifelines in a LDR. And stateside they are all free, except for the mobile calls and messages. And of course there is e-mail too.

Even as far away as we are, we have frequent contact, mainly chat and occasional Skype, and we are adding in Twitter now, too, which is good for a quick message.

We Facetime multiple times a day. Its like our own little portable pocket lifeline to each other! And the reason we are on separate sleep schedules is allll him. lol. he currently is struggling with weird insomnia. He literally has to work to make his schedule match mine, otherwise he'll be up for 24 hours (usually happens on a day I work 16 hours, and can't talk much) and then he will sleep for 16-18+ (usually on my day off, lol) so its really just an annoying time issue.

I really like that memory jar idea too! Thanks, kimmidyann(:

[kimmidyann]

Sleep schedules can be really tricky. My boyfriend and I are in the same time zone and everything but we still struggle with it. I'm a full-time student with a part time job that has me working until 2am sometimes... He's a full-time student with classes at 8am. I sleep in... he goes to bed early. It can get tough. In those situations we try to leave little messages here and there.

I send him a "I'm home from work safe, love you goodnight" text almost every night. He sends me a good morning text every morning before class. When he gets out of class there's usually a blog post or instagram post waiting for him to entertain him while I'm in class and so on and so on. We try to leave little surprises for each other so the day isn't so hard. It's almost like writing notes and leaving them in each others' lunches. I also forget to mention that we have a private tumblr. You have to know a password to get in, and he writes me stories or posts a picture and tells me why they are his favorite pictures. It's cute when I remember to look at it after a hard day and there's a new post waiting for me. (:

There are ways to get around tricky schedules, it's just not as easy not seeing their face all the time.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

We Facetime multiple times a day. Its like our own little portable pocket lifeline to each other! And the reason we are on separate sleep schedules is allll him. lol. he currently is struggling with weird insomnia. He literally has to work to make his schedule match mine, otherwise he'll be up for 24 hours (usually happens on a day I work 16 hours, and can't talk much) and then he will sleep for 16-18+ (usually on my day off, lol) so its really just an annoying time issue.

I really like that memory jar idea too! Thanks, kimmidyann(:

Oh, I see. Time seems to be a real problem for a lot of us in LDR. I have a similar problem. Early on, I came up with the bright idea of adapting to his time zone and his schedule (he's 17 hours ahead of me), literally, I turned my world upside down and Down Under. I'm retired, so thought I could get away with it, and I'm a night owl anyway, and with Facebook to keep me company when he was working late, I was able to stay up all night! And then go to bed same time as him, and get up same time as him. But, it messed up my life in my own time zone, my daughter got very upset when she couldn't just drop in when she happened to be running errands in town, because I was asleep. She didn't know her mother had turned into a vampire. It has also been very difficult when I have gone to visit family. It just isn't easy to switch over. It has even messed up my circadian clock, and affected my health. I really need to get back into a better sleep pattern. And I don't think it will affect the relationship I am in, because there is some overlapping between his time and mine, so we will still be able to find time to chat, Skype, etc.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

Sleep schedules can be really tricky. My boyfriend and I are in the same time zone and everything but we still struggle with it. I'm a full-time student with a part time job that has me working until 2am sometimes... He's a full-time student with classes at 8am. I sleep in... he goes to bed early. It can get tough. In those situations we try to leave little messages here and there.

I send him a "I'm home from work safe, love you goodnight" text almost every night. He sends me a good morning text every morning before class. When he gets out of class there's usually a blog post or instagram post waiting for him to entertain him while I'm in class and so on and so on. We try to leave little surprises for each other so the day isn't so hard. It's almost like writing notes and leaving them in each others' lunches. I also forget to mention that we have a private tumblr. You have to know a password to get in, and he writes me stories or posts a picture and tells me why they are his favorite pictures. It's cute when I remember to look at it after a hard day and there's a new post waiting for me. (:

There are ways to get around tricky schedules, it's just not as easy not seeing their face all the time.

I love your ideas for using tumblr. It sounds like fun. I might just set an account up and get my SO on it with me. It sounds like Facebook, but you can do everything in one place, even blog.

[eeelaynuh]

Oh, I see. Time seems to be a real problem for a lot of us in LDR. I have a similar problem. Early on, I came up with the bright idea of adapting to his time zone and his schedule (he's 17 hours ahead of me), literally, I turned my world upside down and Down Under. I'm retired, so thought I could get away with it, and I'm a night owl anyway, and with Facebook to keep me company when he was working late, I was able to stay up all night! And then go to bed same time as him, and get up same time as him. But, it messed up my life in my own time zone, my daughter got very upset when she couldn't just drop in when she happened to be running errands in town, because I was asleep. She didn't know her mother had turned into a vampire. It has also been very difficult when I have gone to visit family. It just isn't easy to switch over. It has even messed up my circadian clock, and affected my health. I really need to get back into a better sleep pattern. And I don't think it will affect the relationship I am in, because there is some overlapping between his time and mine, so we will still be able to find time to chat, Skype, etc.

goodness! what a commitment! thats awesome that you were able to do that, but definitely crazy. i can definitely see how it could be cumbersome after a while. we've talked about it and i found out that if we start having skype sleepovers he'd be more likely to go to bed when i do. so maybe that will help. the days with the least communication are the hardest i think.

[blueorchid1]

goodness! what a commitment! thats awesome that you were able to do that, but definitely crazy. i can definitely see how it could be cumbersome after a while. we've talked about it and i found out that if we start having skype sleepovers he'd be more likely to go to bed when i do. so maybe that will help. the days with the least communication are the hardest i think.

I think that if it works for both of you, Skype sleepovers are the best!
My SO is currently 3 hours ahead of me and to top it off, I work nights. So we can only do Skype sleepovers around once perweek. However, lately my SO has been trying to do what Aussie did. It's nice that I have him to talk to because in work alone, but I feel guilty that he isn't sleeping because two nights ago he began trying to sleep regularly again, and he's getting frustrated that he can't sleep at night very easily because (as Aussie learned) he messed up his circadian rhythms :/

Anyway! Back on topic! I totally agree with you that the days where communication is at a low point are the hardest :/
I try doing my work from Uni to keep me occupied, and sometimes when I'm procrastinating, I binge on Netflix ha....(it's like it was created to delay school work!)