November can't come fast enough...

[JoeyBug]

Hi everyone!

I know I only seem to post when I have issues, I promise I do read, but with my health problems it's hard sometimes to get online and post...sorry about that...

Anyway, now that Scott's out of plaster, he's back at work and doing okay health wise. He called in the middle of the week last week (we usually only talk on the phone at weekends) and when I asked why he said "Don't you know what day it is?" I'm thinking, it's not our anniversary, that's in May...not when we met, that's April, not when we reconnected since that was also April...not birthday, we both have the same one and that was January...holy bugger what have I forgotten?!

So he finally says, "it's a special day, it's Wednesday! I missed you and decided that since our rule is only weekends or special occasions, I would make it one. I'm American and we invented special days!" To which I laughed and we chatted for about fifteen minutes on his way to work. It brighten my day and I know it helped him.

Then this morning, I get a call just after my alarm had gone off at 7am (which Scott knows and with the 6 hour time difference, it was 1am for him) and it's him. He's sad and melancholy because it's been nearly two years since we last saw each other in person. I asked what was up and he said he was just calling because he needed to be sure that the plan is still on, that there will be an end to this at some point.

The plan, as he calls it, is for him to come here on a fiancé visa, we get married and then apply for the spousal visa and live happily ever after (hopefully!) He's been saving, as I have too and he knows that any visit will eat into that, but he's also really struggling with the distance. He wants to come visit, but can't get time off work to make it more than a quick three day for which he'd pay about $1000 and it's just like...for $1600 he can apply for one of the visas and he just doesn't want it to be put off because he couldn't deal...

So we talked for a bit, eventually around 8ish I got him off the phone and he went to bed...I had to take Miss D to school anyway, so I couldn't talk for any longer and with his work being difficult recently, he couldn't afford to be so tired he couldn't go in. I just...it's HARD and I KNOW that you all know this, I just needed to let it out, y'know? I'm lucky to have understanding friends, and one of my friends was in an LDR and has been married to her guy for like 13 years or something, so I know it can work and I know it can get to an ending of CD, but, ugh! I just wanted to hug him and I couldn't!

At least I WILL be going in November as his family have invited me for Thanksgiving, which is something I've always wanted to experience so I'm going - health permitting and as I'll have graduated from uni by then I'll be able to use some money from my parents as a graduation gift towards flights and such. He knows I'm coming to him and he's trying to look forward to it, but November is SO far away when you're just desperate to hold each other, y'know?

Okay, rant and whine over...thanks for listening guys!

Joey

[squeeker]

Aww I know that feeling.. it was why both my SO and I had to go back to uni, because as it was I was just making enough money to pay for flights but we couldn't save up for closing the distance.. we felt it will be a bit easier if we could get better jobs and uni can be a huge help to that, especially with the right degree! I also feel for you, because it's also *likely* going to be approximately 2 years from our last visit to when we are with each other again, it's been about 6 months so far. Though I'm getting a job again so maybe I can try and get an earlier visit in, though it might work out better to save more money to when we can visit in summer 2015. It's still awhile before we will be able to close the distance permanently too.

Maybe stick with the November visit time.. but try and find a cheaper trip, sometimes there can be good deals out, maybe May/June time.. though by the time September/October rolls around, you will be visiting in a couple months so you should just hang in there. Maybe you can send each other packages to help you through this time? November is a long ways away, but I know you two can get through it because you have already gotten through 2 years and you love each other I'm sure (otherwise you wouldn't be considering fiance visas I'm sure!) so just hang in there.

[JoeyBug]

Aww I know that feeling.. it was why both my SO and I had to go back to uni, because as it was I was just making enough money to pay for flights but we couldn't save up for closing the distance.. we felt it will be a bit easier if we could get better jobs and uni can be a huge help to that, especially with the right degree! I also feel for you, because it's also *likely* going to be approximately 2 years from our last visit to when we are with each other again, it's been about 6 months so far. Though I'm getting a job again so maybe I can try and get an earlier visit in, though it might work out better to save more money to when we can visit in summer 2015. It's still awhile before we will be able to close the distance permanently too.

Maybe stick with the November visit time.. but try and find a cheaper trip, sometimes there can be good deals out, maybe May/June time.. though by the time September/October rolls around, you will be visiting in a couple months so you should just hang in there. Maybe you can send each other packages to help you through this time? November is a long ways away, but I know you two can get through it because you have already gotten through 2 years and you love each other I'm sure (otherwise you wouldn't be considering fiance visas I'm sure!) so just hang in there.

Thanks, I appreciate the response. It does suck when you're so far apart for a time between visits. The November trip is pretty much the only time I'm likely to get over there (he's always come to me because of my health issues) and since I don't work a traditional job and don't have much money, it's all about making the most of what we have if that makes sense...his job pays well, it's just with living expenses and then saving for money to live off once he is here as well as two visas at $1600 each, a flight, wedding and all of that, it adds up...we only decided to go the visa route in the last year or so and so we haven't been saving for very long - though it was always on the cards, it just became a definite last March time. We will get through this, I think he just needed to know I'm in it for the long haul, just as I know he is, if that makes sense...

Thanks again

[differentcountries]

Nice to hear an update I think that with your plans being so concrete, you can afford emotionally to wait a little longer. It sounds wonderful that you realistically can get married and all the rest.

[squeeker]

Thanks, I appreciate the response. It does suck when you're so far apart for a time between visits. The November trip is pretty much the only time I'm likely to get over there (he's always come to me because of my health issues) and since I don't work a traditional job and don't have much money, it's all about making the most of what we have if that makes sense...his job pays well, it's just with living expenses and then saving for money to live off once he is here as well as two visas at $1600 each, a flight, wedding and all of that, it adds up...we only decided to go the visa route in the last year or so and so we haven't been saving for very long - though it was always on the cards, it just became a definite last March time. We will get through this, I think he just needed to know I'm in it for the long haul, just as I know he is, if that makes sense...

Thanks again

Aww yeah, visas are so expensive! I am not looking forward to having to pay so much for them when we do. That's why we had to go to university to get a better job because the way we were it would take even longer. That is good that he has a decent job but it's crazy how much visas are, and then on top of that you have the travel itself and the wedding costs and having savings would be handy. So I can see how it's best to wait til November. Sometimes you need that little assurance that you both are in it for the long haul. Especially when you are so close to closing the distance, even though it seems far now.. you have a plan and that's good. I'm positive you will get through it.

[piratemama]

I'm sorry you are going through this. Yes, I do know the feeling. It's the hardest part of an LDR - not being there when your SO needs you. I'm glad you at least have a time to shoot for a visit with him. I know it's sad that you both miss each other, but it's great that he loves you enough to feel that way. Although my SO says he misses me, he never goes into the detail that yours does about how it bothers him. You don't want your SO to be sad, but it is good he misses you.