Need Advice in Bad Economy

[arizonamyrie]

Long time reader/lurker and few-time poster on the boards, looking for any advice really. I'll detail the situation:

My SO and I are currently unable to get together because of finances, we met just before the big bank collapse in 2008 and have managed to weather it out this long. I graduated May 2012 as a nurse, only to discover that all the hospitals in both my area and his area have hiring freezes on registered nurses, only hiring LPNs and CNAs. I have been steadily searching for employment daily online in nursing, non-profit, and even just entry level jobs anywhere that is advertising, but have an e-mail folder of the "Sorry but" letters stating for various reasons that I am not hirable by them (usually either lack of experience or overqualified - I have a prior degree as well that turned out to be just an expensive piece of paper). There are also other nurses in my area who have gone 4-5 years without employment as well as recently a 250 person layoff from one of the major hospital systems. I also currently am without a vehicle, and have limited savings, and have an autoimmune disease and lately panic attacks which makes matters harder.

Meanwhile, while I was finishing school, my SO had his home foreclosed on, which is where his business and only source of income was located as well (he had been able to make most bills each month and set aside a savings until then - foreclosure is rather expensive). His brother and sister in law as well lost their home at that same time. Through a family friend, he managed to secure a location for his business that includes a small home to live in with his brother and sister in law, however, finances are still tight and my parents had offered to help him financially with some of his bills (he's able to clear 75% of his bills on average each month on his own). This last couple months however, they have been hit by freak weather which has more than doubled the power bill and driven down sales. He has also been looking for steady employment during this as well in computer networking or anything related, though he does not have a formal degree and has chronic nerve damage in his neck from a combat wound while in the Navy. Our relationship seems very solid, steady now, and we'd love to be able to get together immediately but also know that our financial and health situations at this point currently prevent that.

I've gone this entire time with almost no income (I had a small side job helping a nearby family but that ended), and my fiance has been getting assistance from my parents with the reorganization of his business. Until last night. Around last November my parents started waning their support for us. I've been applying to everything I can find, he has been doing everything possible to boost sales as well, I'm even making telephone calls for him to keep in touch with his business to business contacts. My parents have always had a talent for manipulating me and sabotaging me from success, so I had become used to their waffling between both sides of a decision to help out with things. Just now, they're using my SO and his safety to do so as well, which is my own personal last straw. My parents have always had an easy time finding jobs, and I have heard them the last couple days talking behind my back about how I am manipulating them and my supposed dysfunctional behavior has to end. All I am guilty of in this is being unemployed in a bad economy. Only thing I feel guilty of is exposing my SO to their deceptions and not figuring out what their latest manipulation is for me, though I suspect it involves severing contact between my SO and me. I feel so bad that he's getting pulled through my parents' games; while I've adjusted to it through the years, their involving him in it makes me sick.

Our original plan was that I'd get ~3 years RN experience up here while he worked on growing his business. After that time, I would get his state's RN license and start applying there, eventually moving to my own apartment when I got work and him later joining me. Our backup plan was that I'd get a RN job up here and then he would join me here.

Looking for advice or ideas in this situation, whether it be on how to get out of this house, find a job, increase sales so my SO can make his bills each month and have the luxury of eating as well, how to find a leprechaun's pot of gold, etc.... Pretty much, we're at our wits' end as to figure out how to even survive right now, so any ideas will be welcome. Starting small with goals (get any income) and working towards the largest one (finally close the distance).

ETA - Mods, if there is a more appropriate thread, please feel free to move my post there.

[Hollandia]

I would suggest expanding your job search to other areas in the country. Take as many HIPPA and Obamacare classes as you can. Some hospitals are still hiring but they want people that are ready for all the changes getting ready to hit. If you have a mortgage, it won't help sorry, but If you are able to move then it might help your search to be more fruitful.

Another thing I would suggest is to take some classes in Medical Billing. The new ICD-10 laws that will be hitting this October are going to cause anyone that has not learned them to lose their jobs. My cousin just got hired after taking an 18 month class in it and scoring high on her exams. She had a nursing backround and data entry and so this helped her to a leg up on the competition. It won't pay as well as nursing but you can make a decent living at it.

[arizonamyrie]

Thankfully no mortgage on my part, just needing to find a way to help with the SO's bills while he establishes his business more. I moved back home in 2005 when I first lost my job in teaching (budget cuts) then stayed for nursing school and somehow am still here. The advice is good and it makes sense with the ICD-10 laws, HIPAA, and Obamacare. A lot of the roll-outs have happened here already and the loss of jobs have resulted from it. Thankfully had some training on all of them already through nursing school and have had to learn more about the ICD-10 laws for both working with the SO for his business (he works at times with a couple of local clinics) and for another business I did have an interview at (but was not offered the job); will start putting those more in my resume for medical office type jobs. Will also call my local tech school as I think they may have some of the courses you speak of.

Most of why I have not looked outside my immediate commutable region was my parents already being up in years and claiming to need the extra help here, but with them acting like this, I think they need their space from me as well. They did at least make some attempt at an apology to me since posting the above, but it was more them giving excuses again. They did also reassure me that if my SO came up here and I was still unemployed that he'd have free room/board at their house as well and help with establishing his business here (town of 7,000 with 3 computer shops already, 1 down the street), though I don't think a southern boy would enjoy the cold expanses of the Wisconsin winter. My own situation, at least according to my parents' discussion, isn't as dire as it at first seemed, but is still not really safe for my SO, whether it be in SC or Wisconsin.

And I am still up for more ideas as well, especially from any business-minded folks who could toss a few ideas my way for the SO to get some more business going. Along with any computer repairs, he will also sells refurbished computers and other electronics as well. He is brainstorming too with me today on this.

[differentcountries]

I don't see why you should be helping your boyfriend fiancially when you don't support yourself. If you focus on getting yourself a job, you may consider helping him out later.

[TaraMarie]

I am wondering why you don't move in with him. You are currently unemployed. Go there and be with him, and help him for now. There is nothing holding you in your current location. Maybe something better will come along,

[Riyko]

I don't see why you should be helping your boyfriend fiancially when you don't support yourself. If you focus on getting yourself a job, you may consider helping him out later.

This, you should make sure you can support yourself before helping someone else support themselves even though you are engaged. As for jobs i'd expand the places you are looking to include the red cross and plasma donation banks, to even maybe having to work in another area (like retail, marketing etc) until you can find a nursing job.

[squeeker]

I don't really have advice on business ideas myself but I just wanted to post because I understand the financial struggle well. Could you even look at a part time restaurant or retail job for now, to help get money, they might be hiring more and so it might be good for now.. also trying to look for jobs where your SO is might be a way to close the distance sooner too, there might be a job there that you could do. You can always try and brainstorm some really creative ideas and try and make them and see if people buy them though it's hard to make something good when you don't have the resources to do it. My boyfriend and I are currently going through university and just hoping that we will be able to get a good job after somewhere.

I wish you so much luck that good things happen for you and your SO soon!

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

I would suggest expanding your job search to other areas in the country. Take as many HIPPA and Obamacare classes as you can. Some hospitals are still hiring but they want people that are ready for all the changes getting ready to hit. If you have a mortgage, it won't help sorry, but If you are able to move then it might help your search to be more fruitful.

Another thing I would suggest is to take some classes in Medical Billing. The new ICD-10 laws that will be hitting this October are going to cause anyone that has not learned them to lose their jobs. My cousin just got hired after taking an 18 month class in it and scoring high on her exams. She had a nursing backround and data entry and so this helped her to a leg up on the competition. It won't pay as well as nursing but you can make a decent living at it.

I think those are all good ideas. Widen your search area, and look for related career fields or jobs until you can find an opening in nursing. I'm also wondering something else. Why couldn't your fiance use his VA Benefits to go back to school and get a degree in Computer Science, IT, Network Security, or some other related computer field, since he is already interested in that. He could still work his business too, but with a degree on his resume, it might help him get a better job. Yes, it will take time, and you might have to stay LDR for a while longer, but it would help both of you in the long run. To be honest, considering your circumstances right now, it might not be the best time to close the distance, not until you are on your feet financially, without depending on your parents. That is not a healthy way to start out a marriage.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

I am wondering why you don't move in with him. You are currently unemployed. Go there and be with him, and help him for now. There is nothing holding you in your current location. Maybe something better will come along,

That might be worth considering, too. You can just as easily look for work there, as at home with your parents. You say they are getting up in years, but as long as they are not ill, and can get along alright, you really don't have to stay. IF you close the distance now, and move in with your fiance, you can help him with his own job search/business, and support each other emotionally. It might be worth having a serious discussion with him about it, and maybe with his family, too, since he lives with his brother and sister-in-law.

[digitalfever]

I’d recommend not trying to find a nursing position and looking into career paths are in health care but utilize transferable skills. For example: Many pharmaceutical companies hire nursing graduates to be copywriters because they know medical terminology. Look into other careers paths for the now. You have a degree, you are skilled just use some creativity to market yourself.
I’d recommend that you revamp your resume and create an additional resume for non-RN jobs. At the same time widen your geographical search and don’t limit yourself to employment based on your plan with your SO.
In relation to your SO’s situation I don’t have any suggestions. It’s getting harder and harder to get a job with a BA or Bsc and I don’t think it’ll be easy for him to find a job. He may want to try LinkedIn as a way to reach out to potential HR Managers.

[arizonamyrie]

All very good ideas, some of which I have already been doing. I actually have been looking both inside and outside of nursing and have had several interviews in the last few months for non-medical, one of which was for a position similar to what I do with my SO's business on the side already but have come just shy of actually getting hired (either not experienced enough or overqualified when I called HR back). The difficulty is a combination of financially and health-wise being stuck for now where I am at until I can get a job. At least the ACA has helped a bit for insurance finally so if I need to travel out of state for an interview I can.

The challenge with this came, and I hope to clarify, in that there was a verbal agreement between my SO and my parents that they would help him out on months that were tight in the first three years of reorganizing his business, and they happened to decide to, without warning or explanation, cut him off completely after promising him that they'd help him in a difficult month.

As for the SO, he has looked into VA benefits for education, but the irony is that in the past he has gone in and done guest lectures for the same programs he would be attending, as well as previously was able to afford having interns under him; my parents do not understand the kind of connections he'd lose if he moved up here at this time, while we'd be together, financially we'd be set back by at least 5 years. He's trying to work those contacts too for more work, though only for his store at this time. We did decide to expand the services he covers at his business, and we're expanding what I do for him to other customers as well (website design and social media) hoping that it will bring more in as well, even to the point of working on flyers for going door to door with downtown here on my own. I'm also trying to convince him to take a part time job here and there as his sister in law is willing to help watch the store while he's out, but he also says that if there's an emergency service call (which he still gets one or two weekly), he'd have to turn them down if he were at another job. If he can make it to June it will help, as a new chain business moves in next door and he's been in talks with the franchise owner already to get a contract there.

Just it was an absolute shock to have that support of my parents, who in the past loved my SO and even told them to call them Mom and Dad, pull out their support of him with no explanation. And this economy is beyond frustrating. But now I'm just rambling, it's been more than an exhausting few days.

[differentcountries]

You give the explainstion yourself. They don't understand his situation, so they decided they were being played and hence stopped the support based on that they think he should fend for himself. And, since none of you bothered to put the support agreement/business investment in writing, they can do just that.

[Hollandia]

You give the explainstion yourself. They don't understand his situation, so they decided they were being played and hence stopped the support based on that they think he should fend for himself. And, since none of you bothered to put the support agreement/business investment in writing, they can do just that.

You are better off with him making it on his own. You don't want to mix family and business. That type of stuff is hell. I still run the family business with my Ex. When business hit the skids the house was like living in hell. My Ex's parents were involved too and after they screwed us over in the business, I resented them for it and still do to this day. I was much happier before when there was no connection to business and family. I know he needed they money, but if he does it on his own, he will in the be grateful for it and much better off.